I can own a book and never have to read it, never open its covers to discover its contents, never explore the deeper meanings or allow it to expand my mind. I truly own that book but so what? That ownership is meaningless in any way that matters. A child can own a book, a pompous ass can own a book as strongly and firmly as I. There is no reason to be proud of that sort of ownership.
Owning an object is a passive act, once paid for, no further effort is required. It is merely an act of accumulation; it says nothing about me that I own one book or a thousand. However, unlike a book, owning an animal requires constant effort and how that animal behaves does reflect on their owner.
Owning a dog is more complicated than owning a book. Some dogs are allowed to run wild; undisciplined and untrained. However, a few months taken to instill discipline makes a huge difference and instills behaviors that last a lifetime. However, it doesn’t take much to earn the loyalty and affection of a dog. A few treats here and there, a pat on the head, and he is your best friend.
Few compare their partners to dogs but falconry is a frequent D/s analogy, the beautiful noble bird flying free and yet returning to the hand of the master is an appealing analogy. I think it is a perfect analogy for many who chest thump about being master/slave. Those falcons are let free only physically, their minds are chained and tethered to their owners. Not by the character of the master, not because they earned that loyalty, but because the falcon has been raised to believe that nourishment comes only from their owner. They return only to be fed, not knowing they could nourish and sustain themselves. The chains that bind the falcon are invisible to them and if revealed, the falcon would never return. That is neither mastery nor slavery as I use the words, it is fraud and deceit that keeps a falcon bound to their owner.
I strive to make my partner strong and free with no invisible chains, no fraud or deceit. I want her bound to me not by chains but by joy. I want to give her the heavens to be free in so that when she returns I know that out of all the men in the world she freely chooses to kneel only before me.
That to me is mastery and slavery and possession.
Part of the difficulty of all this is how we use language. A perfect example is the word respect. I treat my partner with a great deal of respect and I have a great deal of respect for her as a person. That doesn’t keep me from treating her in other darker ways but no matter how low I take her, at some point, I reach out to her and offer her my hand to lift her back up to stand proudly next to me.
I push her to be a better person, not because I am a beacon of perfection but because I want her to be a better person. The respect comes in because I respect her enough to listen when she pushes me to be a better person as well. I do not fear her being strong or having an opinion, in fact I encourage her to be strong and to have opinions.
I have a lot of other writings but THIS
is my latest one