In my life I have to hide the true me, I feel like a stranger in my own skin sometimes. I know that in this life it is hard to find the truth in one person to love them with pain and a hunger that is never fed. I have only found one and in this search a struggle as I see it not to faultier my feelings for the ones I own. I have a Secret Life and BDSM is this life. I never thought at a young age after being raped myself that it was possible to desire to inflict pain upon others. In the times I found myself being the best I could be with a whip in my hand. In all my searching I have found no one that really would make me faultier. I had one girl and one boy I loved so very much, but my obsession was short lived when he left and then she left on her own. I want to be able to find that again. The Obsession the torture, the pleasure, the hunger with me satisfied. But until that day I am nothing more than half the Domme I once was. I want passion and pain, tears and bruises, I need the one to be the many I am hungry for. Like this Journal it has meaning but then the table turns and you are in my hell my dungeon my young victim to be destroyed and made my personal whore.
SilentChaos20 |