silentsuffering on Collarspace

silentjewe

SilentTear


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	With grace and elegance I will walk this path Fate has given me. I walk it alone, so please do not think you will be the one to change that. I found my One and only. Though we are not together, I do not have the heart He took. I am alone and come here to be with people without having to hide my tears. I can smile, offer pleasant conversation and even joke. I do so with tears. My pain is real, raw and deep. I do not want to share my life, my pain or my experiences. I come here to talk with friends and try to forget, for a minute.

1/15/2012 8:56:51 AM

How can I feel so right and so wrong at the same time?

How can I believe in my mind something when my heart doesn't care?

How can I choose to be alone when I was alone enough before?

How can I lose so much when I had so little?

1/7/2012 1:49:18 PM

Do you know what really "chaps my hide?" (besides the obvious)

When you are honest with someone from the get go and still they ignore your words. Then they go away because they didn't get what they wanted...even though you told them at the beginning.

I don't make friends easily, but when I do, it hurts to lose them. It makes me frustrated when I lose them because THEY refused to listen to my words. I rarely say something I don't mean and I usually say what I mean. I don't play games and I don't lead people on. I, also, don't play hard to get. I am NOT interested in a relationship. THE END.

I will NOT settle. I know what I want.

I've tasted it, touched it. It's like eating Lobster and then being fed crawfish. Im sorry but it's not the same.

Why can't people hear what you say and not what they want to hear?

1/5/2012 8:17:57 AM

Is loyalty gone simply because there is no more relationship? Not in my book.

I am emotionally unavailable, not because I am broken. Not because I am weak. I am emotionally unavailable because I love One. I am emotionally unavailable because I have never met one that fits me so perfectly and I refuse to settle....EVER!

Please, respect that.

1/3/2012 1:36:06 PM

Since this is a new profile for me, I have received many emails. I find it funny how many people view my profile as a half empty rather than the half full that I am.

I am blessed for the love I had and lost.

I am blessed for the time we spent together, all I learned and all I am today because of Him.

I will love Him until I have no breath left.

Even that is looked down on by those sending emails.

Did we breed out loyalty some place? Do people really believe love just falls away when things don't go as planned? Am I really wrong for being grateful for the love I feel and not being in any hurry to "settle for less"?

Is love that disposable?

If it is, then I felt something else.