I had to update my profile. It was way too pretentious. And truthfully, that's not me. One of  my friends pointed it out and, once the points were brought to my attention, I couldn't agree more.

So, I've gone with a simpler profile. I really am just looking for people with which to connect. One can never have too many friends in the lifestyle. Cheers!

OK. So where are all the real subs located? I've sent out several e-mails and I've only received one exceedingly terse reply and nothing to the follow-up. Is my profile really that uninteresting?

I had this discussion a while back and thought it would make a nice post.

While sex is nice, that's not all there is to this lifestyle. If I want sex, I can go to just about any bar and get that. There are tons of websites that are devoted to hookups.

But BDSM is about more than sex. It is about the relationships of power. It is about the mental struggle to obey another and serve them. It is about the pleasure from pain and serving. It is pleasure derived from being served and causing pain. BDSM is more of a spiritual journey. One cannot be on this journey alone. The feeling of belonging is strong with BDSM. In fact, that's what drives most of us to join the lifestyle...or better yet, to seek the lifestyle out.