|
A friend of mine asked me last night, why I personally seek out pain. Because there are different types of pain, there are several different reasons I seek it:
Turn Me On
Some pain just feels good. For me this is most of the flogging, choking, spanking, or biting that happens. I swear some parts of my body are directly connected to my clit, and when stimulated intensely, enough it feels amazing. I don’t care how hard you hit me in the center of my back with a flogger. I’m going to love it. I don’t care how hard you bite me in certain places, it’s incredibly arousing. It gets to the point that I crave the pain. And then endorphins get thrown into the mix and I’m just putty in my top’s hands.
Great Suffering
There are few greater feelings than suffering for someone I care about. Pushing myself to (and perhaps even past) what I previously thought I could take so that my top can do with me as they wish. I love knowing they were able to try a new technique or do something they like to do and I was able to handle it. It creates a sense of accomplishment and pride within me. As a rope top, I personally know the value of having a bottom push themselves a bit so I can finish a difficult suspension. I am always grateful for any bottom that will put up with my ropes even when they are less than comfortable. So I try to extend that same service to anyone who tops me. And afterwards, as a bonus, I usually get showered with hugs, cuddles, chocolate or those wonderful words every sub loves to hear, “Good Girl”.
It Aches. So. Good.
I love Love LOVE hurting the next day. The pains the next morning or afternoon are a friendly reminder of all the fun I’ve had the night before. Every sore muscle and aching bruise a reminder of the places his hands have been. Each time I move, it’s like my top is right there hurting me again and the feeling is comforting. Sometimes I even poke at the bruises or sore spots to make them hurt more or not heal quite as quickly. They weren’t kidding when they said bite marks are love notes written in the flesh. That’s exactly what they feel like.
Freedom
When in a specific headspace, pain has a way of centering me. It brings me peace. I pull into myself, focus on nothing except the next pounding strike or searing sting, and the stress just melts away. The whole experience is a catharsis. And there is a sense of freedom within that kind of release that I look for. Sometimes I want to scream. Sometimes I need to cry. And sometimes, I just need to be beaten; to lose myself in the pain and find myself again in a place of clarity and complete euphoria.
And that’s why I do what I do.
Because it makes me happy.
And isn’t that what we all want?
|
