I got jealous and stepped out of line tonight before my Master went to bed. I hope he's not too angry with me. I am a new sub still learning; it's very hard for me as I have always been the aggressor when it comes to my sexual relationships.
The want to submit and totally turn myself over to Master is there - no question. Nothing makes me happier than to please him; however learning to remember my place during times where I get emotional is something I need to work on. I am so lucky to have a Master who is so patient with me.
Here is a pic of Master and I the last time we were together, he'd been fucking me for hours so please excuse my condition :) You can click on any of these pics to see them bigger...
And here are a couple pics of me with the collar and nip clamps Master made me purchase
When I was first learning what submission entailed, I stumbled across this poem and it was like someone was reading my thoughts and had formed them into words. Reading it daily helps to remind me what I aim for, his pleasure...not mine.
***I am a Submissive Woman - Author: Unknown***
i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to my Master in a loving relationship.
i am not weak or stupid. i am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life.
i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.
i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never will i be more complete than when He is with me.
i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with His strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him.
His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me.
Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy…
His punishments may be harsh, but i accept them thankfully, knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind.
If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am.
No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes, and because of that i hold my head high.
If He says i am His precious jewel, then i am that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.
If He says that i am His pet, His slut, His whore, then i am that..as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be.
My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can.
i have no secrets from Him… for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His.
Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself…and i do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided that i need, and so i learn from Him.
My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when i kneel naked at His feet.
Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing over me.
If i were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be.
The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him is harder to bear than any physical anguish i feel.
i am grateful that he cares enough about me to spendHis time and energy so freely on me.
i have the easier job, to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Him.
i am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously.
i am a submissive woman. i am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that i do not give lightly,and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to my Master who has that strength, will i give myself fully,because i am strong and proud.
i am a submissive woman.
