Once upon a time, I was a blogger. More than anything else, I did it to pass the time. I stopped blogging for two reasons: First, I don't have as much time as I once did; and second, I bored of trying to "enlighten" ignorant buffoons.
Now I'm not talking about the multitude of fetishes and S&M activities that people get into ~ that's all about various techniques and various levels of intensity and aftercare and how to address various things that can go wrong during the activities. There's literally thousands of sources of information regarding that stuff.
I'm referring to relationships. That's where ignorance runs rampant. Some people treat it like some form of religious dogma.... True Dom from True Dom, True sub from True sub..... and referring to themselves and others with terms such as "Real" and "Fake" and all kinds of other idiotic terminology. Ahhh.... yes..... the wonderful age of the internet. A socialization network which is truly in its infancy ~ and unfortunately, so are many that have migrated to it as their sole source of socialization. *Chuckles* Yeah.... whatever.
Why do I bring it up here? Why now? Honestly, because I have time to kill this evening - and I'm bored with the over-abundance of stupidity I read in women's profiles ~ which they have been indoctrinated with by all those "real masters" running around and spewing their religion of "Right Ways" and "Wrong Ways" for Masters, Doms, subs, and slaves to be "Real." What a load of crap! That word offends you? Okay..... a load of horse shit! How's that.... better?
The World Wide Web was created in 1994.... the term internet was officially adopted in 1995.... Dating sites didn't really appear until just before the turn of the millennium.... 1999 was the first time I ever stumbled onto a "dating site." The purpose of pointing that out is merely to state that my dating life preceded the internet. I was married and divorced before anyone was really aware of what the internet was. AOL dot com was launched in 1995 and had only 5 million members by the time I got married.
So here's the simple truth..... all these "communities" you hear about and members who claim all this grande knowledge of the "lifestyle" ~ they didn't exist fifteen years ago. It's bullshit. These communities are swingers groups who like to get kinky with it..... that's all they are - that's all they've ever been. Prior to that, these terms of master and slave and domme and sub belonged to the gay/lesbian communities.
My first girlfriend in college was the bisexual submissive of a lesbian woman. It's a long story of which I could write chapters..... another girlfriend I had.... her lesbian mistress actually fell for me and wanted to give herself to me. Don't ask me how it is that I have known so many women from the lesbian community..... I just did. I attracted them to me without even trying and without knowing that any of them were lesbian/bisexual. So let's skip that and get to the real point of this:
I have always, and still do, naturally attract submissive women. Forget about the kink.... because kink has nothing to do with Dominance and submission in and of itself - all types of people get involved in kink. Dominance and submission, however, are an entirely different story. A great many people role-play D/s and M/s..... but only a very small percentage of people actually are such.
That's where the "Real/Fake" people strike out and get it wrong. There is no real or fake..... it's a myth. Such terms never existed prior to fifteen years ago. They're internet terms.... and used most by people who have never been in an actual M/s or D/s relationship in their lives. The vast majority of people using such terms have never actually had a full-time relationship in which they lived as Dominant/submissive. Most have never so much as had a dating relationship as such..... most of these people have only had cyber relationships.
80% of the people claiming to be owned, or to own somebody ~ have never even met one another! Or if they have at least met each other, their relationship is still lived through IM and/or skype. Most of these yahoos are married and have these on-line relationships just for a bit of excitement. Others are married and hook up with play partners to add excitement outside of their marriage.
And these are all the people making up the asinine definitions, and describing what is and is not real, and what a "true" dominant and submissive are.
*Clears throat*
Dominant and submissive are adjectives. They always have been and still are. The correct terminology is the dominant partner and the submissive partner. Ahh... but the age of the internet has made everyone attempting to shorten everything up.... U, R, 4, gr8, etcetera..... hence.... Dom/sub - D/s.....
A virtual mythology has sprung up on the internet. The "Old Guard" that you hear people refer to from time to time.... the members of the Gay/Lesbian communities. And I hate to break the mythology..... but there was no "right way" of doing everything..... all communities were unique to themselves, as were the members who belonged to such communities..... there was no "National Community" in regard to anything. Each major city had it's own Gay and Lesbian communities..... period. End of story.
So why do I mention any of this? Because I'm sick and tired of seeing people define who I am supposed to be in their profiles..... based upon some determination that such factors make me real..... what a load of bullshit.
As I said earlier..... kinks are kinks. But they have nothing to do with whether or not a man and woman complement one another (or a woman/woman or a man/man). I will also tell you this - for your own good..... men and women running around telling you about what all this stuff is about and providing you all types of definitions.... they are ROLE-PLAYERS!!! That's what role-players do..... they make games that have clearly defined rules/definitions/descriptions.... and then they get others to play the game too!
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS - enough said.
That's what bothers me the most about all of this stupidity. Role-players who believe they are "real" - and try to impose their fantasy worlds upon everyone else.
Guess what..... "real" relationships don't work that way. Relationships are relationships are relationships..... nothing more - nothing less. The inter-personal dynamic of a Dominant partner and a submissive partner will develop in a manner which is wholly unique to them! Period.
There's no "Rules" or "Definitions" ~ it occurs naturally..... it develops out of devotion, trust and respect..... it occurs NATURALLY. Your rules and definitions have no bearing upon me or anyone else! And there's not a damned thing you or anyone else can do about it! We aren't into your fantasies! We are dominant personalities and submissive personalities..... and we are into whatever kinks we are into ~ and that's ALL there is to it.
You naming yourself Lord Dingleburry or Sir Barksalot has no bearing upon anyone what-so-ever..... you're legends in your own minds.... but you're a fucking joke to me. Most of you wouldn't know what to do with a slave if you were somehow "lucky" enough to get one..... because you won't get one. You'll never get one. Your personality simply won't be attractive to them.
When we meet in person, we connect naturally. There's simply a sense of comfortable familiarity. Trust comes easily, and respect isn't demanded ~ in fact, I cannot really say that it's overtly earned, either..... it's natural. When a submissive partner and a dominant partner are attracted to one another ~ it just happens. The dynamic just happens. The ability to understand one another and communicate effortlessly..... just happens.
I couldn't "teach" you about it even if I wanted to. I cannot teach personality. I cannot "teach" you to be anybody other than who you are at your very core.
So yes, when I see "slaves" with all sorts of "requirements" of who they want their "Master" to be - or wanting to "learn" to be submissive...... I skip over them. I know them to be role-players. It's as simple as this: when I meet a submissive woman...... it will just happen. She will offer herself to me. She will be submissive towards me. And I will devote myself completely to her. Each of us will just become..... We. It will come as naturally as if we'd known one another our entire lives..... it's that level of familiarity. It isn't forced.
I met my very first girlfriend at college in 1990. She worked at the snack bar and I was a student there. I was attracted to her from the moment I saw her. I walked over to her and started talking to her..... and we talked.... and we talked..... and after her shift was over we strolled around campus and then went for ice cream. The next night I drove her home from work, and we sat in her apartment talking...... and before we knew it the sun had come up. She asked if I could give her a ride to work later that afternoon, and so I returned after we had both gotten some sleep.... and we started talking again - and she excused herself..... moments later, she returned dressed in nothing more than a satin kimono and lay upon the floor at my feet facing away from me...... she just lay there, not moving, not saying a word..... not so much as glancing at me. She simply lay there as an offering to me...... it was up to me to accept her offer.....
And no, I will not divulge details ~ I will simply say that I accepted her offer. The submissive art of seduction...... that is how I describe that. Later that night, her roommate asked me if I'd tied Lisa to the bed..... honestly - no. I hadn't. That thought, at that moment, hadn't even crossed my mind. My introduction to the world of D/s and M/s was not stumbling across literature or an internet site. My introduction to the World of D/s and M/s occurred in real life by being attracted to, and attracting submissive women.
Every single woman I have ever been in a relationship with has been submissive. It's simply who I attract. It's simply who is attracted to me. Those of you who are not submissive..... something about me "scares" you. With submissive women.... however.... something about me comforts them and relaxes them. They recognize me. They know me. Sometimes they know me better than I know myself..... they have a sensitivity to them that makes them aware. They have an intuition about what pleases me and what doesn't. They can sense when I'm pleased and content. They can feel when I'm appreciative and happy. They thrive on it. They love being loved and appreciated.
Most men don't appreciate them.... they try and take advantage of them and use them.... and that's why they don't attract them. Most men who pretend to be dominant only attract women who want to be used and abused. Those are not submissive women. I simply cannot describe what it is that I mean. Words are wholly inadequate.
There is an elegant grace and charm about a submissive woman...... there is an elegant confidence and charm about a dominant man. They recognize one another. They are drawn to one another. And it simply doesn't matter what you write in your profiles, or say over the phone, or convey over skype..... it's in person that the connection occurs and the bond is forged. And it cannot be manipulated. Either you are, or you aren't......
