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| Hello there, and welcome to my profile! I'd like to start by saying I'm no longer single nor am I seeking anything on the side, so if you're looking for love then kindly move on. I am, however, open to friends and those who are new to BDSM and might want some help or advice establishing those first relationships, so feel free to message me if (and only if) you think you can behave yourself. Please be aware that I live by a simple rule;
If sex is the only thing on your mind, it is the last thing on mine.
Anyone who messages me asking me about sex, my sexuality, my sexual interests, my sexual experiences, or whether I want to have any sort of kinky or sexual contact with them will be marked as junk mail and deleted. They will also possibly be mocked, depending on my mood.
If you're still with me, read on.
I identify as a dichotomous person, hard to define but easy to talk to. I'm not an asshole or an idiot, I'm not looking for casual relationships, I'm not married, and I'm not just after sex. I'm also not into sadomasochism. If you are any of those things, we probably don't have much of a future together, but I'll gladly chat with anyone, (about non-sexual stuff) regardless. If you message me to talk about sex, you're going to see the "man eating cunt" side of my nature.
For the boring stuff; I'm a mother, a college student, and a witch. I'm very open minded, and want someone for the long term romantic kids-and-a-white-picket-fence stuff. I enjoy intellectual discourse and a good sense of humour, a kind heart and a firm hand. I'm no broken bird looking to be rescued, but I've been knocked around a lot both emotionally and physically. I guess you could say I have a soft center and a hard outside, and I take the view that if a man wants a doormat he should try B&Q. If the thought of a mouthy, opinionated and intelligent sub scares you (or sounds like a bad submissive) then give me a pass; we have nothing to offer each other.
For the more interesting stuff; I'm into age play, incest play, rape play, bondage, fisting, sensation play, breath play, and D/s dynamic. I'll do lots of other things beside. I'm NOT a masochist and impact play (i.e. canes, crops, spanking) has the same impact on me as it would a vanilla woman; I don't do it, and would be pretty angry/horrified at a man who did it to me regardless, so if OTK makes your world go round, give me a pass. That said, I do enjoy some forms of pain with the right partner on occasion.
Now, I have learned recently that the male mind is a bit like a conveyor belt, and there's a pretty good chance that the first thing I said has already been pushed out, so I'll say it again to refresh your memories: if sex is the only thing on your mind, it's the last thing on mine. Remember that bit about the spam folder? That hasn't changed. Just because I talk about my kinks on my profile doesn't mean I want to talk about them with you, and just because we have one or two in common doesn't mean we're going to meet and engage in them. If necessary, feel free to go back and re-read the bits that don't talk about sex. I'm a woman; not a walking vagina.
Anyways, if you're still with me, feel free to message me :-)
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Hello again world!
So, I'm back. The reason I've been gone is because I lost my 'net. Why? Because I couldn't pay for it. Why? Because I was paying off a debt incurred by one of the Dom's on here.
The man MasterDargonUK, also known as Roy Morgan, is a 6'9" sack of shit. He lied to me about everything from his intentions to his address, and has stolen over £1000 from me. Don't get me wrong; I accept that it's my own fault for trusting him. But just as I would gladly name and shame any other criminal, I am naming and shaming the shit out of him.
He's skinny with long grey/blond hair and dodgy teeth. He has blue eyes and is in his mid-fourties. If you think this might be the man chatting you up (he may have abandoned his MasterDargon) feel free to message me for his picture. As best I can tell he's a benefits bum who makes his money fiddling people and the system. Don't let yourself get caught, girls! |
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So, here's my new copy/paste for those whiny subby-boys, fin-Dom's and sex-nuts who keep pestering me.
Dear Sir/Madam
If you're reading this message you have clearly neglected to read my profile. If you genuinely want a shot at getting to know me better, feel free to go away, read it, and message me telling me exactly where you went wrong. In the meantime, you message to me will be marked as spam and deleted.
If any butt-hurt is experienced in the meantime, please, feel free to message me bemoaning this fact. That'll be marked as spam and deleted, too, and may form the basis of my next vaguely humorous journal entry.
Have a great day.
Enn |
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Dom's of various flavours; chill the fuck out, de-bunch your leather panties, and learn to laugh at yourself, 'cause I can promise you now if you take yourself too seriously I'll give you a first grade education in humorous mockery ;-) Have a nice day. |
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Random asshat - Wow you have such an interested profile! I'd love to chat to you further and see where things go!
(I check his profile, and see that he's looking exclusively for pain sluts for part time play't he dynamic polar opposite of me.)
Me - You've clearly not read my profile, so I'm gonna be sending you along to the spam folder now with a nice big "fuck you" smile. Bye!
Asshat - Oh my god you're so rude! You have such bad manners! How dare you talk to me like this! My Domly honour has been so offended! MUMMY!!!! :'-( *sniff*
Sorry guys but all I can say to people who don't read my profile in full and get all butt-hurt when they get chewed out by my cunt teeth; let me pour you a nice, tall glass of get the fuck over it, and please join the back of the queue of bitches waiting for me to give a shit. I'm a nice girl, honest, but I really don't suffer fools gladly. |
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See this, right here, is why I usually set myself to "submissive" rather than "switch."
You got it. All the desperate subby boys around my feet.
Sorry, boys, but I'm really not interested! Of course if you haven't read my profile or my "actively seeking" I doubt you'll ever be reading this, but still, it makes me feel good to say it. Go find yourself a nice FinDomme to play with and leave me the hell alone! |
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Whilst I do not "name and shame" I will gladly provide references (good, bad, and honest) for the following CollarMe members;
- MasterDargonUK
- patient1too
- SadistSays
- NewportDom
- Alphap0wer
Others will be added as I experience them. |
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WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU COCKSUCKER MOVIE THEATER PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DOING CANCELLING MY FUCKING VIEWING OF SILENT MOTHERFUCKING HILL 2?! YOU'RE ALL GONNA FUCKING DIE FOR THIS!!!! RAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!
I r angry. Here me rawr. |
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Messaging someone with the intent of becoming their submissive or Dom/me is a little like applying for a job interview; what you say will be judge on what you're looking for, what you're offering, but primarily (at least at first) with the skill, intelligence and respect you do it with.
With this in mind, why do so many people "sned msgs like diz" to me. You want to Master my heart, mind and body but you can't grasp the basics of English language? Yu-huh. Ok then. |
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What it is with the concept of "breaking" a Dom/me? Of a submissive "turning the tables" and "putting (the Dom/me) in their place?" Sure that defeats the exercise for both parties?
Can someone please explain this to me, 'cause by it's very definition is sounds thoroughly unsatisfying.... |
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Apparently I need to make this REALLY clear, so here goes.
I'm not a masochist. I'm not into any form of sadomasochistic play. SOME exceptions MAY be made if we've been together a very long time and I have faith in your abilities, but I wouldn't count on it.
It's probably safe to count SM as a hard limit for me, in fact.
That means it is NOT a suitable punishment. No, it's not dependent on me "being a good girl" and no, it's not something to joke about, push, change or challenge.
If you don't have the skill or imagination to come up with some non-sadistic punishments, or if you can't live without a degree of SM, that's fine, but we're not going to be a good match. Trying to change that is a little like me trying to convert a straight Dom to the idea of being bummed by another man; I wouldn't do that to you, so why the fuck do you keep trying to do it to me? |
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Guys, I don't mind, I really don't...but save yourself some time.
I speak English. I read, write, and love English. If English is your second (or third, fifth or fourth) language that's fine, but if you're a UK citizen and a native English speaker, please, message me in English.
People who send me "msgs lk dyz" or asking "how were old u wen first u collad?" Will become target practice :-) |
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| Age: 29 |
| Ogun,
Nigeria |
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