Hello. Taking the plunge today to come online and register myself.
Have looked in from the outside for a long time, was registered once too, many moons ago, but thought it was time to make my (second) debut online now I have a little time to devote to things.
I'm not a newcomer to bdsm (having been tutored by some dab hands) but I've been away for a while, trying to live the clean virtuous life with varying degrees of success. This has included time working across the UK, in various roles which I'd have to kill you if I told you what they were about.
I'm not, either, a mousy housewife who's got hot flushes after reading 50 Shades of Grey, which may be utter trash but is at least well-named. You can have any type of boredom you like, as long as it's Grey. The most uninspiring colour ever, which conjures nothing short of multi-story carparks, Coventry* and overcast weather.
For all the helicopters, unlikely wealth and aesthetic abilities of Christian Grey this is how I will think of him forever more:
A grey man, in a grey suit, standing in a Coventry multi-story carpark in October, talking about concrete in a monotone voice.
Hawt.
I digress. I hear you cry "where is this witty creature located? For I must forthwith book myself into a grubby Premier Inn in close proximity to her, with my briefcase full of straps and chains lest she escape my deviant clutches."
Well, unfortunately for most, I'm now based for the time being at chez Mum's, a luxurious all-inclusive hotel near Boston in Lincs. What it has in comfort and a complete lack of Lenny Henry, it more than makes up for in inconvenience. So don't expect to pop round for tea any time soon, nor expect me to breezily declare I'm off on a sexual oddyssey at the drop of a hat.
What I am looking for is something which will move slowly, deeply and smoothly. A submarine, not a speedboat. In boring layman's terms that means online at first. No strings. No promises. Then, if we like eachother (you will like me, I'm great, it's you I'm not sure about), we will "graduate" to more.
About me:
I'm generally speaking a sorted, friendly and level-headed person, pretty organised, compassionate but sharper than most, and with a deep dark kinky chasm running through my bones.
I'm young enough to be choosy but old enough to know what I want - I'll know if it's you before you will, so if you don't get a reply, take it with a cheery shrug of your domly shoulders and don't take it as a slur against your very being.
I have my own interests. They include a pretty broad range and crazy cornucopia of kinks, fetishes and weirdness. I am a bit of a shapeshifter/Zelig type - I do make subtle changes to "fit in", but I also empathise very very strongly with bdsm from the opposite, dominant or complementary viewpoint. Basically I can usually work out why something's sexy, and with enough consideration it can also be attractive to me too.
Of course there's lots of other bits inbetween.
A guy can be totally compatible with me on a mental level, but be unable to articulate it or be a turn-off in some other way.
I am genuinely not moved either way by appearance so I don't count this as a possible obstacle, nor age specifically - it takes more than "unconventional looks" or being older to dissaude me from someone I find interestiing or sexy, and it takes way more than a pretty face or youth to make up for being dull or deriviative.
About you:
What I'm not looking for is, ironically, that Zelig sort. Someone who's a bit of a pretender, a guy who simply likes the idea of the odd bit of kinky sex (let's face it guys, most of you wouldn't say no). I can find that lots of places, from Match.com to the local pub on karaoke and doubles-for-a-quid night.
The person I'm looking for has a deep and wide understanding of what this stuff is all about, and who is patient enough to realise that the most rewarding things don't happen overnight.
At the same time, he's got his own interests and his own aims and preferences. There's nothing sweeter than a dominant guy who'll say "Sure, we'll do that if you want", "I'll try it if you like" and "Hey, I'll have a go at anything once". Those guys are SO sweet. Like puppies. Sadly, if I wanted a puppy, I'd be on PuppyMen.com**, not on here.
What you're basically saying is "Hey, I'll jump through whatever convoluted hoops you've constructed as long as I get to have sex with you at the end". Well, thanks.
I'm not saying you'll be a dictator. I'm not saying you'll have a free rein from the off. You won't. What I am saying is that I am looking for someone with depth, and that depth is demonstrated by a guy who's defined their own interests, what they want. And that they're brave enough to say, "this is me. I'm not going to pretend, to fit in with you, or society or anyone else. Here's me in brutal technicolour honesty. If you want to be a part of the "me experience", let me know. If you don't, then I am happy we reached this conclusion now, because I have enough self-confidence to not have to compromise more than I want to". That to me is a Dominant.
I am not shockable. This has been tested in many of the world's top Shock Laboratories. I once stood on top of a mountain in a thunderstorm, wearing a suit of armouor, holding a bent coathanger above my head and shouting "God is stupid". I'm still here to tell the tale. Try me. You might like me.
*I am sure Coventry is lovely really.
** not a real website.
