|
|
|
|
Welcome..I would like to explain my philsophy in simple terms...a mediocre Master tells, a good Master shows, an excellent Master explains, but a true Master inspires. My name is Sam Shady...I am a PhD. and teach D/s classes in several large cities as well as do counseling for D/s relationships and I am a writer...including some published material on D/s.
For many here and elsewhere, the thought of D/s or BD/SM immediately brings very kinky and erotic images to the imagination. Yes, it can be very kinky. But that is not what the lifestyle is truly all about. We all live in a D/s relationship every day of our lives. Nature is built around that very principle. Someone leads and someone follows. Sound simple???Well, it isn't and it's those dynamics that make life so interesting to live. It has been said that life begins on the edge..if you aren't living on the edge, you aren't living. The best wasy to sum up this lifestyle is that it's an enhancement, sometimes an exaggeration, of the natural aspects of life. The major difference between "vanilla" and the D/s lifestyle can be summed up in one word. ACCEPTANCE. People within the lifestyle have come to accept and cherish theri roles as a Dom or submissive personality. Acceptance of a person's depth into the lifestyle is at the very core of the D/s lifestyle. This lifestyle has many different levels of intensity and there is a place for everyone. Remember, the intense sensations and heightened emotional awareness is meant to educate oneself...much more so than the average person does..it's the nature of the lifestyle.
My personal training of submissives involves many things...Eastern philosophy, since I am also a DOM...Doctor of Oriental Medicine...methods which are seldom seen or even known in the USA, and various other aspects which are meant to let the sub and Dom grow together as ONE...this is not about abuse or punishment.
I have a Dominant's Owners Guide..which MUST be read and signed off by any potential sub.
Ask youself..."What am I here for?"...really think about it...you will know...and if you know..you will seek...and if you seek with the proper intentions at hand...you will find.
Basically, there are only three rules in D/s:
· Safe: The relationship and activities must be physically and emotionally safe for both Dominant and submissive. Even “edge play” must fall within the boundaries of safety.
· Sane: The relationship and activities must fall within generally accepted norms of sanity. Anything outside those norms would ultimately result in a lack of safety. Certainly, there are those that enjoy “insane” activities, but they fall outside the boundaries of what is considered D/s.
· Consensual: Both Dominant and submissive must agree to each aspect of the relationship, and the activities within it. And in order to give consent, one must be fully informed of the activity, it’s potential dangers, and give a fully informed consent. Communication is an ever-present theme in any kind of relationship, but is even more essential to a D/s relationship.
Some of my writing.....
Let me be your strength when tired,
your courage when frightened.
Let me take control when you have none
and lead you safely back.
Let me show you the power of love and
the strength to be found in submission.
Submit my love, come to me freely,
for I can set you free.
I will teach you trust,
and slay your demons.
I will unleash your heart,
and unbridle your passion.
I will be your love,
your True Sir. Step aside from all thinking,
and there is nowhere you can't go.
-- Seng-ts'an
The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is.
To realize your true nature, you must wait for the right moment and the right conditions. When the time comes, you are awakened as if from a dream. You understand that what you have found is your own and doesn't come from anywhere outside.
Whenever someone has asked me how do I know all of this I reply, "I'm just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn't."
My intention is to help someone live a life of truth, free from suffering. Why beat around the bush with namby-pamby techniques and outmoded paradigms? The Work works like nothing else In my experience, most other approaches, including the generic D/s model (the traditional Dom and submissive) in general, are just Band-Aids, doing little or nothing to catalyze true healing and transformation. How many people do you know who have been in the D/s arena for ayear,decade (or two or three) and are still rehashing the same issues that brought them there in the first place? If you choose to run from this reality, you run from truth, you run from yourself. In other words, there is no place else to run and you are left with what is. The truth is that by doing 'the work', you will experience pain, you will see yourself in all your imperfections and flaws. It is very difficult. However, after doing 'the work', time and time again, you realize you are loving it all, not accepting it all, or justifying it all, but loving it all...just as it is. We hold on to our 'stories' in order to avoid pain and experience pleasure in the short term even though we are selling ourselves short in the long run. The 'stories' are like jail cells we trap ourselves into to make us feel safe and secure. But as long as we stay in it, we can never experience true freedom and happiness. Opening our eyes to these things enables us to take one more step closer to our true selves. The key difference is now you are a lover of reality. Are you ready to transcend your present state and take one more step in the unfolding of your soul?
Considering that, all hatred driven hence,
The [mind] recovers radical innocence
And learns at last that it is self-delighting,
Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,
And that its own sweet will is Heaven's will.
-- William Butler Yeats
|
|
|
|
