Collarspace.com

Saffleur

Friends:
Musicmystery
amelliagrace
What is there to say about myself aside from that I am who I am. I do not put up a facade or lie.

What I want...

I want an adult first and foremost. I don't like to micro-manage. It's annoying and if you expect that then look elsewhere.


If you want someone who will enjoy helping you become a better slave, someone who will push your limits to depths you thought you'd never find yourself, that's me.

I require you to be you. 100% all the time. I'm a successful business man with a healthy career. I don't reqire you to be the same but I don't want someone who does nothing. I enjoy motivated people. If anyone reading is familiar with personaliy types I come across as an ENTJ. If you don't know what that means, fine just ask. I enjoy times of reflection and discussions on anything really. The world is full of unique, wonderful experiences that we can all enjoy. Pretty simple isn't it?
8/18/2009 8:13:18 PM
7/26/2009 10:07:37 AM

Honesty

Probably the hardest thing to find in people. It's like those little sugar glass things you see in stores. Fragile, see-through and with a single point of pressue, it shatters.

Honesty: The act of being honest. The ability to tell the truth and not only talk of it. When I speak of honesty as a core value it encompasses a large spectrum of things. It is an expectation of totality. A person who is honest should be so all the time not when convenient or when it will benefit them to be dishonest.

Honesty is not something that should be external only. It’s main purpose should be internal. One should be utterly honest with themselves because if they cannot do that they will most certainly be dishonest to the others in their life be it co-worker, family, wife or even child.

Honesty should be a compass in situations. With it you should be able to guide yourself to a clear conscience by knowing the choices and answers given were honest. In doing so, even if it pains you, you will have performed yourself a service and kept your honor.

Honesty is a fundamental cornerstone to developing good standing in any community. How many times have we heard people say, “So and so is an honest man.”

Understanding human emotions to some extent shows that one of the first things that comes across a persons mind is “Can I trust them?”

Not only does a person wonder if they can trust you they also reflect back on if they have heard anything about you. Much like “bad” advertisement, there is such a thing as “bad” gossip however, gossip is bad in and of itself and people should not do it. If you’ve made some dishonest choices in life people know about them and they will judge you for them whether you wish them to or not.

Everyone has made them, but if we apply an iron will and an aptitude to learn to be more honest then we can make a change and our past which would normally overshadow us will disappear much like the shadow in a dark closet when a light is flipped. It’s still there between the clothes and boxes but it doesn’t outshine the change in light, which is you.

It is with this core value one should live their life. Honesty can be useful in many situations. If one is honest to their marriage they will never step outside of it for pleasure because the man should have married the woman who can please him instead of lying to himself and settling for something he doesn’t want. Honesty will save you from leading people on and keep you from making promises you know that you cannot keep.

Honesty is a rock upon which a man can build his life. Make sure your rock has no faults. Investigate yourself thoroughly. Unless you are one hundred percent sure that you will be giving your all to stay honest then you will fail.

Failure is a unique form of learning. In the future I will expound on this.



And yet after waxing and waning on this in such a loquacious manner I wonder how the vicious circle grabbed me. When I fell into the lies of another so fully. So compltely that when exposed I could not feel anger or even disappointment. Instead I was in utter shock. Amusing how the human mind never works just how we expect.

Til I am moved to write again, I wish you well.

9/18/2008 9:24:21 PM
9/15/2008 5:43:30 AM

Title: Five Traits of Leadership

We all lead at some point in our life
. We serve as leaders in our jobs, in our communities, and in our families. For many, being a leader means having the power to control others. Those who take this view eventually find that the more they try to control people, the less influence they have over them. For others, leadership means being in a position of authority. Yet, a man can be a leader even if he’s on the bottom of the totem pole. When a man sees that something must be done, he won’t let his lack of position limit him from taking charge; he steps into the gap and assumes responsibility. True leadership is not about superiority, position, or prestige. It’s about revealing and releasing the potential of those around you. Leadership is not about the power of one, but facilitating the greatness of many.

Unfortunately, many men today are sloughing off leadership responsibilities either because of laziness or apathy. They would rather live a life of ignoble ease and have others shoulder the responsibility for them. But the world needs the leadership of virtuous men more than ever. When you’re called to serve as a leader, will you be ready to take on the challenge?

In 1950, the United States Military printed a small book for all armed forces officers on how to become better leaders and men. In it, five traits are set forth on what makes an effective leader. We’ve taken these traits and explored their meaning and application for every man whether an officer or a civilian.

1. Quiet resolution. An effective leader has the resolve to see every task through to the end. Resolve is easy to have in the quiet before the storm comes. Resolve is a breeze when one’s commitment has never been tested. It is when the fear, chaos, and stress of a crisis hits that true resolve is revealed. In any situation, there will be an opportunity for retreat, an escape hatch, the chance to shirk responsibility and choose safety and defeat over risk and greater reward. At that moment, the man with quiet resolve does not waffle, he does not doubt the choice that he knows is right. Without the terrible grip of indecision seizing him, he is cool and levelheaded, unflappable in the face of challenge. He is not loud, yelling and frenetically scurrying about in an attempt to cover his lack of grit with useless action. The man with quiet resolution is a man others can feel supremely confident in. While the world around him goes to pot, he knows what his mission is and he calmly fulfills it. He is the anchor in the storm.

How to become a leader with quiet resolution:

Do not wait for a crisis to emerge to make a decision. Inventory your values and goals, and set a plan for how you will react when certain crises arise and important decisions need to be made. DO NOT wait to make you choice until the heat of the moment, when you will be most tempted to surrender your values. Set a course for yourself, and when trials come, and you are sorely tested, you will not panic, you will not waver, you will simply remember your plan and follow it through.

2. The hardihood to take risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Great achievements come to those who are willing to take risks. A leader who continually plays it safe will never put themselves or the people they lead in a position to experience success. A life without risks is surely alluring; its sweet lullaby of safety and comfort has lulled many a man into the trap of mediocrity and apathy. The weak man stands at the crossroads of decision, tempted by the possible reward and yet paralyzed by the fear of defeat. He is blinded to the fact that even failure brings its own rewards. Without failure a man never comes to know himself, his limits, his potential, and what he is truly capable of. A man who never dares greatly fails to see that he has taken the greatest risk of all: the risk that he will never progress, never refine his soul, never amount to anything worthwhile.

How to become a leader that takes risks:

The fear of taking risks can be very real. You cannot expect to have the courage to take a large risk when you have had no experience taking small ones. So find opportunities in your daily life to take little risks. It could be as small as approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation. Find an activity that frightens you, like public speaking and go for it. As you venture more risks, you develop the capacity to overcome your fear and gain the wisdom to know when a risk is worth taking. You will achieve the mettle to take the big risk when your leadership abilities are truly called upon.

3. The readiness to share in rewards with subordinates. A great leader, although supremely confident, humbly acknowledges that no success, no matter how large of a role he personally played in bringing it to fruition, is a wholly solo effort. He is deeply grateful for all those, even those with small roles, who played a part in the achievement. And he understands human nature. He understands that people love to be recognized for their contributions. When a group or organization succeeds, a true leader makes it a priority to recognize both in public and private the contributions of those he led. When a person sees that a leader is humble and will share in success, they’ll be more willing to follow that person.

How to become a leader that shares rewards with subordinates:

Sharing success with the people who follow you can be as easy as offering public recognition or increasing their compensation. A simple thank you card expressing your gratitude for an employee’s effort in completing a project can go a long ways in building loyalty to you and your organization. When offering thanks or giving praise, try to be as specific as possible. It shows the person you lead that you are keenly aware of what they do and makes the thanks or praise more personal and sincere.

4. An equal readiness to take the blame when things go adversely. It is when things go wrong that true leaders are separated from the pretenders. The weasel leader will gladly accept the accolades when he and his team succeeds, but will find another individual to take the fall when things get tough. When followers see this, it completely demolishes any confidence and allegiance to that leader. True leaders will take responsibility for all consequences of their decisions, even the bad ones. Even when the results were the fault of a subordinate, a true leader will still take all the blame. Perhaps the leader failed to communicate clearly what the subordinate’s duty was, or maybe the leader failed to match the right man with the right job. After taking responsibility for the results, an effective leader will immediately take action to correct the situation.

How to be a leader by taking the blame when things go adversely:

When taking the blame, you must do so sincerely. Your confession must spring from a genuine belief that you were at fault. To accept blame, but to do so grudgingly, makes you a boy, not a man. Never play the part of the martyr and seek glory for taking the fall. Likewise, don’t take the blame publically, but then tell your subordinates that the only reason you took responsibility was to save their asses. You’ll look like a phony and deteriorate their trust in you.

5. The nerve to survive storm and disappointment and to face each new day with the score sheet wiped clean; neither dwelling on one’s successes, nor accepting discouragement from one’s failures. All of history’s great leaders had moments of supreme success and moments of devastating defeat. Great leaders focus on the things they can change and influence, and the past is not one of those things. If you fail, learn from it and then immediately cease to dwell on it. Rehashing the past will not do anything for you. Moreover, the people a man leads will lose confidence in their leader if they continually brood over their failures.

When you succeed, celebrate with your followers, and move on. A leader who continually dwells on past success shows that he has not set his eye on greater things. Additionally, as we learn from the Greeks, a leader’s hubris can quickly become their downfall. Always stay humble and hungry.

How to become a leader by not living in the past:

Read biographies of great leaders from history. By reading about the lives of these great men, you’ll learn that even the best leaders faced enormous setbacks. You’ll gain perspective and come to see that one failure does not mean the death of a man’s capacity to lead. And the amazing feats of the great men of history will inspire you to believe in the powerful influence on history a true leader can wield.




Taken from Home Stone Journals a site I run.

9/13/2008 6:06:31 PM
Title: Beginnings

Some history is in order. I’ve had this account for some time but usually post on a personal site not here. I however feel the need to flesh some things out and make it more complete.

I knew nothing about this life I now live until almost ten years ago. Yes, I’m 25 of this writing but this is my story. Something I am willing to divulge.

I grew up in a house of what I now know as natural order. My stepfather, whom I consider my father period, was the bread winner. He was “the boss” and his word was law. This included me, my siblings and our mother. What he wanted done was done without question. He and I have always had a very close relationship. He grew up with a very strict father and so that is how he was with us. I as a young child would work alongside him when he worked on cars, repairing pipes, outlets, whatever was necessary to keep the house in order. We spoke for great lengths as I grew up the conversations became more than just video games, school work, summer vacation plans.

He is the greatest tutor of life I could ever ask for. There were times that he angered me, or did things I disliked, that is just how life goes. Nothing is perfect but that’s okay because if things were perfect life would surely be less fun.

I take his characteristics from being so close. When I went to High School I played sports, Football, Wrestling and throwing shot-put and discus for Track and Field. I was chosen all through my school years to be the team leader. The same thing occurred when I was chosen as Captain.

I didn’t know that a woman was watching me so closely. I won’t use her real name; I respect her wishes to remain private so we’ll call her Susan. Susan lived across the street from me and apparently was a submissive woman. I’m jumping ahead in that but this is how I found out.

I was 16 at the time and during the summer I always worked two jobs. I liked the money; it helped get my first car all by myself. I had just finished cutting out lawn, we had two acres and no riding mower. Once I was done Susan came over and asked if I would do hers tomorrow as well as some other chores that would keep up the outside appearance of her house. I agreed and spent my Sunday mowing, cleaning gutters and trimming the sidewalk.

She invited me for dinner after I was done. My parents were friendly with her and saw no problem with sending their growing monster off to be fed somewhere else that night so she made a lovely dinner and while I was sitting in the living talking about school, the prospects for next years football team etc, she asked if I wanted something to drink which I admitted I wouldn’t mind some lemonade. She disappeared from the room in a flurry and when I returned instead of just handing my drink to me like the average Jane would she knelt next to the chair and proffered it to me. At the time I thought nothing of it, just thought she was comfortable there on the floor. I know a few women who are like that but anyways, I looked at her curiously a moment then took the glass and drank from it then continued talking.

This went on most of the summer. I worked, she cooked, I ate and we talked. I’ll admit I developed one of those crushes young men have from time to time. I thought it was a good arrangement, she did cook a mighty fine steak!

One day her discussion turned to whom I was dating etc. At the time it was a girl named Marion (again name changed for privacy), who I had hooked up with at the Sweetheart Dance that past February. Needless to say she asked probing questions like whether or not I liked when she knelt near me etc.

I wasn’t sure how to reply, I did but at the same token I didn’t get why she would ask or even do so. After sitting there in thought a good minute or so I told her I did and somehow we ended up talking about a lifestyle where women were submissive to men. I just looked at her oddly. Mom always did what dad wanted. His word was law. She explained things to me, gave me books to read, websites to explore. I also did research on my own.

Susan and I was a “thing” for almost my entire high school years. I grew from reading men talk about this life, to philosophize about things such as mastering yourself, pushing yourself to be more than what you initially perceive, owning a woman even.

I wanted more from her and she was not willing to go to that depth of submission. Slavery can be a scary thing but looking back I also understand the whys of her desire to not be what I wanted. I was young, both in body and experience, but not in mind. Nonetheless being matured in all three would be best. Regardless of that we parted ways and I went about learning more, growing and experiencing life.

I was introduced to Gorean things when I met a slave named Alice (Another name substitution) who had asked me one day during chat if I knew what Gor was. I admitted I lacked this knowledge. At the time I was running a room on GCN called The-Sanction. It was very popular and many came to discuss their lifestyle choices, to speak philosophically about Domination, submission, Owning, and just covering every facet.

She introduced me to the books which I painstakingly read and have since multiple times. I own the books, I don’t find them through various illegal means.

The rest is history I suppose. I consider myself an experienced learner. I am what I show to you. I wish you well.
hottdian
 
 Age: 27
 United Kingdom