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I'm seeking a real-life in-person relationship only, I'm rarely on here so it'll probably be awhile until I return messages, and if you write a one- or two-sentence reply and/or have nothing written in your profile, I will not respond (and block you to avoid harassment).
If your profile contains anything related to fetishizing black women, I am not interested; I am a person, not a fetish.
I'm 30, 5'11" single, African American seeking a long term female led relationship leading to marriage with a wonderful man of good character who is submissive, funny, warm, kind, loving, successful, confident, intelligent, attractive, and very kinky.
I've lost over 100lbs in the past year (only 100 more to go...yay), so I'm also looking for someone focused on health and fitness.
I am a dominant nurturing sensual sadist (DNSS); my style is equal parts physical and psychological domination. Often, you won't even notice you're following my commands. I have class - I don't yell, or raise my voice unless I'm excited about something in a good way. I'm not the cliched uber-bitch, whip-wielding, get-on-your-knees-worm kind of domme. I have a caring, maternal personality. I enjoy a good mindfuck. Pain will be a component of our relationship, so painsluts* are best. All of my limits are flexible except anything to do with children or permanent damage.
When you're not at work, I expect you to fulfill the role of my significant other, domestic/personal assistant, and painslut. Your service to me as my cherished property will be a valuable and integral part of our relationship, and life balance is important to me. I believe in improving you so that you can have a more fulfilling life and can serve me better. If there is an aspect of your service that I am not pleased with, I would require you to take outside courses, e.g. cooking classes. I have fairly high standards that are easy enough to attain if you are as intelligent as you think you are ;)
I'm a night owl. I have a form of auditory dyslexia, which means that I am NOT deaf/hard of hearing, but the words of strangers often become a jumbled mess of syllables that my brain has difficulty piecing together. I can't do phone calls or Skype, so meeting in person is best. I prefer to get to know you via email and text before we go to the trouble of meeting. My personality type is INTJ.
Words cannot express how much I enjoy micromanagement and scheduling; you should like - okay, love - being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it well. However, I don't expect you to do so mindlessly; you should have a brain and know how to use it to serve me.
I'm disease free, I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and I have no tattoos or piercings. I'm not a partier; when not hanging out with my friends, I prefer one on one time with my sub.
I am located near Temecula. I can do my work from anywhere in the world, so I'm open to relocating to anywhere in California later. If you are from outside of California, you should be willing and able to relocate to here.
To be considered for this relationship, you must be:
Single
Caucasian (because I find white men physically attractive, not because I want to "make them pay" or something similarly racist :)
Genetic male
Lives alone
Bisexual (preferred, not required)
Androgynous and/or crossdresser with a more feminine-leaning mindset (preferred, not required)
Not transgender (I'm not physically attracted to anyone who has had, currently has, or will have boobs and/or a vagina)
Submissive who is closer to the slave side of the spectrum
Aged 30-45
Non-smoker of anything (it is an irritant to me)
Drug (yes, pot included!) free
Disease free
Into fitness/health and currently works out
Have no cats or dogs (I am very allergic)
To see images, videos, etc. of what I'm into, go to sadisticdomme27 dot tumblr dot com.
I didn't want to make this profile any longer, so to see more I'm on Fetlife as sharpestcookie.
NO WOMEN.
*I'm sure there's a technical definition somewhere, but I define a painslut in two ways - a) willing to take pain to experience pleasure for one's own sake or b) willing to take pain to please one's domme. The latter appeals far more to me because the power rush is amazing and the former makes me feel like I'm serving him instead of the other way around, if that makes any sense. The pain play is not something I need on a predictable daily/weekly basis. By the way, these "funishments" are not connected in any way to punishments, which are rational consequences for your actions.
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Taking a break. Dunno when I'll be back. |
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I feel like trolling the trolls and spammers today. It's quite fun in small doses; you should try it :) |
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Comparison: Male Wife vs. Male Partner in FLR
To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid or androgynous man who doesn't adhere to masculine stereotypes and has no issue with it. There's no need to feminize him as he's already naturally more feminine in mindset and/or body than society prefers. When in womenswear, he prefers looking as natural as possible and eschews excessively frilly "sissy" wear. He's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he'd accept it as the compliment I intended. If this is you, send me a message.
On the other hand, a male partner is more stereotypically masculine and more reticent to explore gender identity and sexuality in kink without being "forced" to, e.g. forced bi, forced feminization, forced sissification. There's a great deal of transferring responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." It concerns me because they want a dominant woman, yet they believe being womanly is somehow inferior. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he takes it as an insult or believes that I'm trying to humiliate him - which will either turn him on or repulse him. I'm not interested in this guy. |
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Clarification: I'm not interested in
A) Honorifics such as "mistress" etc. They all feel very contrived to me.
B) Cuckolding. It's a lot of emotional and logistical hassle I don't need, and I want emotional and physical intimacy with my sub only.
C) Humiliation/objectification/degradation. Just...no.
D) Men who will watch porn without my consent/participation while in a serious relationship, especially fetish porn - I've personally had negative experiences with this.
E) 24/7 chastity. Have you considered that it restricts me from touching you whenever I want as much as it restricts you from touching yourself? Chastity is enforced only when I'm not around.
F) Anything to do with feet excluding pedicures. Foot worship, bastinado, foot fetishes, etc. Feet, toes, etc. just really creep me out.
G) Men who are reticent to explore gender identity and sexuality in kink without being "forced" to, e.g. forced bi, forced feminization, forced sissification.
7/22 ETA: F) & G)
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I posted an ad similar to my profile on the miscellaneous romance section of CL (that was my first mistake lol) and here was one of the responses:
"You say you want an androgynous, feminine bisexual but who is not a woman. Sounds like you don't want a man either. (Even tho you say you do) i was interested but I am a man. A smart, educated, masculine, professional lawyer. But willing and wanting to submit to someone. Maybe you should look for women or gay guys. Just a suggestion. Take care."
Well. My response:
"Yes, I do know what I want, and I do not want a 'man' in the stereotypical way you mean. Androgynous or genderfluid men can be just as smart, educated, and professional as you claim to be, but they don't consistently fit society's expectation of masculinity. I don't fit society's expectation of femininity, so I'm looking for a genetic male (born with a penis) who is the opposite of me on the spectrum. We would perfectly complement each other.
Why would I want to settle for solely a male or female mindset if I don't have to (hence 'preferred, but not required') when there is so much more to discover in someone with both? The difference is akin to black and white vs. millions of colors, and I love a good rainbow! :)
I'm absolutely not physically attracted to boobs and vaginas, just not wired that way. The issue with looking for gay men - in addition to them not being a monolithic stereotype - is that they're gay.
Sex, gender identity, and sexuality are far more varied than most of society cares to explore. I'm still learning the right terminology so I can be even more specific in my search.
Good luck out there!"
You'd think someone also into kink would realize that not all men are the same. Well, you'd be wrong.
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Want to take the first step and write me, but you aren't sure what to say?
There are plenty of things here, on my Fetlife profile, and on my Tumblr page to help you start a conversation... :) |
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== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Sadist
94% Master/Mistress
89% Dominant
88% Voyeur
87% Experimentalist
80% Daddy/Mommy
64% Primal (Hunter)
43% Owner
37% Exhibitionist
29% Rigger
21% Ageplayer
12% Non-monogamist
1% Vanilla
1% Switch
0% Degrader
http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=5277630 |
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For those of you who actually read these, here's a quick way to show you how NOT to contact a potential domme:
Sub: well, you may not "dress" in typical fashion, but hopefully you can dominate in a traditional fashion......Hmmmm?
Me: I dominate in the way I described on my profile. If by "traditional" you mean high protocol, then that's not something I do.
Sub: no, I did not "mean high protocol", that is your supposition; see how easily things are misinterpreted when you expect to gleen everything thru quick quips in back-n-forth superficial emails....this is why you will never find what you want here; you need to put forth the effort to actually go thru the process, albeit long and time-consuming, of meeting and greeting, speaking, etc., it simply can't be done via short, boring emails....good luck in your search. good bye
Me: I typically ask a series of questions that gradually become more in-depth and have the sub ask me some as well. That method has proven quite successful and does lead to meetings with subs. I'm not going to waste my time or theirs by meeting them if basic criteria isn't met.
The tone of your first message felt rude and offensive - there was no greeting, or a brief introduction of yourself, and it seemed like you were challenging me - which put me on the defensive and I bypassed my usual Q&A.
Your second message also had a similar tone. You could have simply elaborated on what you meant instead of telling me how I will "never find what [I] want" and what I "need to" do. There was no need for you to attempt to belittle me. Goodbye.
*discovers that he blocked me so I couldn't respond*
*laughs*
To be fair, I broke my first couple of rules (proper spelling and grammar; no one-sentence replies) by responding to him in the first place. I guess I needed to learn that lesson again. I'm still growing, okay?! :)
I'm sure he wonders why he hasn't found anyone yet. Wow. |
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Is it a thing for subs to profess their undying love after just a few days of messaging?
Also, although I seem to have a lot more in common with white-collar types, I find it unlikely that the majority are financial advisors or attorneys or doctors with big houses, fancy cars, and giant bank accounts.
It's the internet. Until and unless I meet you in person, I can't believe you.
Btw, I'm a lifestyle domme, not a pro. |
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| Age: 32 |
| Hopkinsville,
Kentucky |
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