Collarspace.com

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Hello. Thanks for taking a look at my profile. I am not new to either bdsm or collarme. This is a new profile. If you are wondering what my name means, it is Serious As A Heart Attack, followed by your state's initials. No I don't live in Alabama. I live in New England. If you are not willing or able to relocate, please read no further, as I am not able to either, and there is no sense in us starting something we cannot finish. I have posted this profile in your state because in order to find what you seek, you have to go where what you seek is. Maybe it's here.


I have created this new profile because I found my old profiles and journals full of nothing but negativity. And while this site and the bdsm community in general pretty much do nothing but engender feelings of frustration and anger, that's not who I am and not how I want to be perceived. What finally tipped me over the edge in creating a new profile was a conversation I had last week with a woman who wrote me. She wrote to tell me that my profile was the first sane and honest profile she had seen on CM. She then proceeded to tell me that she was completely new to bdsm, and had recently joined CM. Since then she had received over 1000 messages, most of them so vile, crude and threatening that she was leaving both CM and exploration of any group where such people were allowed to flourish.


I told her that this happened to every woman, not just her, and that the women were no better. I also told her that there were some good people in the bdsm community, and not to judge everyone by CM. I convinced her to come to a small bdsm discussion group I belong to, and the poor woman was so amazed at the difference in behavior she was practically crying after the meeting. She and I are not what the other is seeking, but I believe we will become good friends.


During all of this, I began to think along a new direction. That being just how damaging to the bdsm lifestyle CM and similar websites are. It was only a coincidence that she happened to contact me before she forever gave up on exploring her submission out of fear and disgust. I began to wonder just how many nice people who came here in hopes of learning and exploring new feelings, quickly left in disgust, never to try again. I would guess pretty near all of them. Those of us who have been around know to expect this kind of behavior, and know that while it's the vast majority, that there are pearls in the cesspool. And so we remain and hold our noses in hopes of getting lucky and finding someone wonderful. In other words, we have a web site of the vile and the jaded, with the former outnumbering the latter probably several hundred or more, to one.


Thus this new profile. If the “best” bdsm web site for meeting a potential partner is driving away almost all the women I would be interested in, I have to reach them before that happens. Since I suspect that happens quickly, that doesn't leave me a big window of opportunity before the possible woman of my dreams vanishes to someplace I would never find her.


So here's to hope that you, reading this now, are indeed the woman of my dreams. Notice I said “woman”. Not sub, not slave, bottom, switch or any of the other mostly meaningless labels used in the bdsm community. I'm not looking for someone to tie up, or spank, or vice versa. I'm looking for someone to share all of life with, for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong. I like the tying and spanking and all the other kinks as well, but that's the frosting, not the cake.


There are some non-negotiable qualities I need to have to consider a possible partner. High intelligence would be the first and most important. If I can't hold a meaningful conversation with you, we aren't going to be able to relate to each other. Yes, that means if you submit to me, I'm not going to expect you to turn off your brain. Mindless obedience is boring and hardly a challenge. Neither will I micro-manage you. I expect that a woman with high intelligence should be able to understand what I want and use her own judgment and initiative in choosing the best method for doing it. Other non-negotiable qualities would be integrity, reliability, sense of humor, ambition, desire for commitment, high self esteem, good emotional health, and a grasp of reality. That means that no, I'm not going to keep you naked and caged 24/7, or introduce you to my neighbors as my dog. Kink and fetishes are fine. More than fine. But I live in the real world, which means you need to as well. On the physical side, please be fit, healthy and somewhat height-weight proportional. That means not emaciated, and not obese. I don't require perfect. I am not perfect either. Just be someone who takes pride in their appearance. I like long hair and nice smiles, small boobs and nice asses. None of those are must haves, just preferences. I'm much more concerned with your intelligence and personality than your underwear size. And please, have a life. Have friends, hobbies, passions, other than in the bedroom. I have one, and I cherish it. I'd like to share yours, as well as have you share mine.


So about me. The demographics you know. I am a divorced father of 2 boys who I don't have custody of, but see often. I am a home owner, business owner, and a proud veteran. Though I filled out the preferences section pretty thoroughly, I enjoy reading, movies, theater, music, sports, travel, cooking, massage, playing games, good conversation and collecting antiques. I'm always open to exploring new things. On the bdsm side, I was seduced to the dark side at age 20, as a submissive. That relationship lasted 6 years, after which I transitioned to dominant, and have enjoyed that role ever since. For me, dominance is a mind set, not a set of relationship rules. I don't have a preconceived role for you to play, because I don't yet know who you are. Yes, that means YOU are more important than the bdsm labels you identify with. We can work out the who does what to whom, and when, if all the other compatibility is there.

Let me be specific about what I offer and what I seek. I offer love, companionship, dominance, respect and a life of happiness and fulfillment together. In return, I want your love, companionship, respect, submission, in whatever form that takes, and you working with me to build that life. Love cannot be forced, and respect must be earned. Neither of those things can or should be rushed, so we will take ourt time and do it right, to make sure we are right for each other before we commit.

To conclude, I hope that despite what you may have already been exposed to on here, and the conclusions you have come to, that I've convinced you that I'm a safe and relatively sane human being. I will not talk down to you or threaten you, and I don't use dominance as an excuse for unacceptable behavior. I'm seeking the goil of my dreams. Love, laughter, and a lifetime of joy, both with our cloths on and without. I mentioned at the beginning, that the women on CM are just as bad as the men. Given your experiences, I know you find that hard to believe, but it's true. The women are bad in a different way, though. Not threatening, just dishonest. Professional liars and time wasters. While I am writing to YOU, the woman I seek, it is an unfortunate reality that many are going to write me pretending to be you, and I have no way to tell the difference, unless you are willing to work with me to establish credibility. Just as I'm willing to work with you to show you I am not like the creeps who fill your in box, and understand the necessity for doing so, I hope you will be willing to do the same. It's a small inconvenience with a potential big reward.

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blackeyedbonzai
 
 Age: 26
 Upland, California