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My profile is here: https://.com/users/1100011
Firstly, I am a Dominant. I have no doubt about this, no moments I think could I be switch or sub, a top or bottom etc. This doesn’t come from the fact I tick off a check list that says I am, or I like the sound of it. Who I am as a person; how I react to things, people and situations convince me of that.
I realised something recently about why I find BDSM both so appealing and easy for me to be into. The truth on reflection that I found was amazingly simple as it was profound to me: That in BDSM to give love can be to hurt the one we love. I realised the beauty and art in pain and control. For many the images and practices in BDSM seem terrible and vile; how can you inflict pain, both physical and mental, on someone you claim to care about?
Yet I now know that as I look upon you, hair matted with sweat, face streaked with tears, blood and other bodily fluids, it’s how you need to be loved. People would claim that your broken, sick and need to be ‘fixed’. Yet, why? If your happy, if after your washed and held in my arms your tears are those of happiness, do you need to be ‘fixed’ just because you find your happiness in life in a different way?
A large part of saying that I’m dominant is that is how I feel. That I can see apparently twisted logic in I can show love to someone by beating the crap out of them, or climbing inside of their head and exploit every flaw and anxiety they have. I understand that the submissive craves the torment and pain, but at the same times needs someone who as each blow falls, as each cruel word is said, reminds them the person doing this cares, and cares enough to do this with no remorse and all the creativity they can muster.
A sub isn’t looking to be pitied or ‘saved’; they want you to break them. Then they want you to pick them up.
A Dom isn’t someone with a Bond Villan complex; they show there love and passion in their ‘art’, how they torment and brake a sub.
So, secondly moving on to what I like as a Dom. While I am a tormentative bastard, I’m no sadist. For me kinks are just a means to an end. That end, and the thing I do BDSM for, is control and passion. I just cannot say how much I love to control a sub like a puppet and have them full aware in doing it. But it’s not just simple control I like. It’s the ability to make a sub twist and turn to my whims using the subs own self against her. The times when a sub hates what I am doing, yet cant but want me to do it, are something I never, ever get tired of; subs like that are simply intoxicating.
Some people mistake the way I focus on what a sub wants, needs, thinks etc. to be a lack of confidence, ability or Domlyness. That’s totally wrong. In any D/s relationship trust has to be at the core of it all, be it casual play to long term. Focusing on what the sub wants makes the process of building trust easier. Once you have that trust there, then a Dom can move to his favourite things with far less complications. Also, it’s more likely the sub will genuinely want to server their dom in such a way, than doing it because they feel they have to.
Also, in the past I have made the mistake of taking a subs word that there ok with doing what I want. I have and then they have promptly run a mile afterwards because they had no real idea of what was going to happen, and how to deal with it afterwards. BDSM is a world where we do some extreme things that take a toll both mentally and physically.
Another reason I call myself a Dom is that I realise there are times when you simply have to walk away from a sub/person simply because you know they don’t have any real idea what they want. BDSM is about consensual play, not taking advantage of the naïve or confused. A Yes said in ignorance or misunderstanding should be treated as a No.
Lastly I you want to contact me, simply message me. I can be met in person at the vast majority of any Preston and Blackpool events and munches.
Oh and a Disclaimer:
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Please note! The owner of this profile is male and single! If your female and single, expect to get flirted at :P If you don’t like that, don’t contact me.
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Oh and Im dyslexic, so the spelling police can move along.
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More stuff on my IC (http://www.tiggerdom.icna.me/) and (https://.com/users/1100011) Profile. Basicly, go look there. |
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A number of updates have gone on my IC and profile. |
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I’m going to effectively be on http://www.informedconsent.co.uk now, so look me up there, same username. |
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I have to say being outside my ‘comfort zone’ that dull old life gives you is exhilarating. I feel more confident because now that I see it was an illusion; the idea that we have a ‘safe place’ in life that we can retreat into. In reality there are just events and how we react to them.
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Updated my profile, happier with this. |
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It seems people needing to talk to me are like busses; 3 come along at once! |
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Deleted my profile for a while, but decided to come back. |
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| Age: 28 |
| Washington,
Washington D.C. |
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