Anticipating the needs and desires of my Dominant has been occupying my thoughts lately.  Yes, of course I do as he tells me, immediately, cheerfully and with a sense of purpose.  I am quick to his side when he calls, and always listening for the sound of his voice. 

There’s more, though.  Observing him, gauging his mood, assessing the situation and being there with a cup of hot tea one second before he decides he wants a cup of tea.  That is my goal.  Not just obedience, but active anticipation.  It’s a great challenge, one that requires my focus to be on him and his comfort and satisfaction, to pay close attention to his physical signals and body language, in other words, to be attentive.

As a submissive in a D/s relationship, am I equal to my Dominant?  I say yes, under the law, and in terms of the basic human respect and consideration due to any individual, yes, we are equal.  But that does not mean we are the same, with the same roles.  Of course we are not, and I would not wish it to be so.  I want my Dominant to control me, master me, expect me to do his bidding and respect his wishes, to serve him cheerfully and well. He is my Dominant and I am his submissive and all that that entails, which is the way we both want it.  But without the other can either of us really be fulfilled?  Without a submissive, a Dominant is still Dominant and vice versa, but neither is able to give it full voice.  So their needs and desires are equal, if opposite, two halves of a whole, yet equal as human beings.

Trust.  It’s often been a difficult thing for me.  But I know I can only be happy, totally centered and fulfilled when I can trust.  But trust in others has to begin with trust in oneself.  If I can’t trust myself to make good choices, then how can I trust someone else? 

Trust is key in any relationship, but even more so in D/s.  I believe that I will not be able to fully embrace my submissiveness until I can trust completely.  Not with everyone or anyone of course.  There are layers of trust, building slowly, carefully, deliberately, like the layers of enamel on a Faberge egg.  Thin layers patiently applied until a depth and richness of color is achieved, creating a beautiful work of art.

Hard limits.  Everyone has a few, some people seem to have hundreds.  The way I think about mine has changed.  Occasionally I will hear about something that I never imagined anyone would want to do and I’ll think, “Now that’s a hard limit!”  But generally speaking I don’t have too many.  There are plenty of barriers, depending on how well I know and trust someone.  I’d have to know that you knew what you were doing before I let you take a single tail to me.  But absolutely nope never no way no how put it right out of your mind?  Just a handful, a smidgen, a soupcon of hard limits do I have.  “What are they?” one might be wondering.  Here they are.  Cutting. Needles. Staples. Scat. Kids.  Anything involving any animals of any kind, most especially snakes and other reptiles.  But mostly I am open minded and willing to learn and try new things, explore new worlds, boldly go where no sub has gone before.  Because if you can’t grow and stretch, expand your mind and your horizons, then what’s the point, really?

As a submissive I crave control and domination.  The one to whom I submit is vitally important to me and pleasing him, whether it be sexually, in the way I behave, speak, dress, etc., is my key motivation.  His wish is my command, I long to serve, to find or be given a way to please him.  I have some limits of course, everyone does, but my Dominant makes the decisions, drives the relationship and that is the way I want it.  Submission is more than physical.  It is also emotional and mental surrender. Giving my consent to be dominated by him, accepting his offer to dominate me, it is a symbiotic relationship, based on trust, attraction, affection and common outlook.  That consent is fluid.  Like an underground spring, it flows back and forth, unseen but always present.

In theory it’s all very cerebral, but in practice is there anything more essential, more primal in the world than a man and a woman stripped completely bare, physically, mentally and emotionally?  It is raw and animal, hot, sweaty, slippery, completely reactive on a primordial level.  Senses heightened, totally tuned in to your partner.  Completely in the moment, basic, fundamental, man, woman, sub, Dom, Master, slave, yin, yang, two halves of the same whole.  God, I love it.

My submission is something I think about quite a lot, perhaps because I have just begun to explore it, but then again maybe it has more to do with basic personality.  Some go for lots of introspection, some do not.  I do.

I am not a brat, and do not even seem to have a bratty streak.  I am driven to submit, to be ruled, I do not want to withhold that or “test” my Dominant.  If I did not feel he was sufficiently Dominant for me, I wouldn’t be with him.  Conversely if a Dominant wants to tell his girl to come to him, be defied, pursue her and overpower her into submission, he’s likely going to be disappointed by my immediate compliance.   

I long to please and be found pleasing.  I don’t really want or need stern and authoritative.  Quiet confidence and an understanding of what makes me tick, a desire to rule and be served by a cheerful, intelligent, practical, devoted and sane woman, a wicked sense of humor and a wickeder imagination, that is what butters my biscuits.