The lifestyle is very important to me. In its purest form, it can be very fulfilling.  It isnt a game to me, I am not a thrill seeker and I despise those who lesson it by being wannabes and imposters.

Someone mentioned the term Old guard to me and although it is a term that is related mostly to something else, it also means a way that has been established and perfected in a M/s relationship.

1950's household is another term that is somewhat misunderstood or lost in these times.  I suppose being older has a lot to do with it but this also creates a firm foundation in a relationship that can be long term.

Long term is the key. That is what I desire, I hate being play partners or having chance meetings with someone I hardly know. I feel like a whore that is only wanted for his services and I am not that.

It all goes back to the purity of the lifestyle, 2 consenting adults living out dreams and passions on a 24/7 basis.  I know very few who make it work this way but those who I know and live like this, I honor and admire.

My dream one day is to own one who has a deep commitment to an M/s relationship and who craves being what her soul cries out to be.

She may be in my grasp...enjoying the journey

RopeMaster

opening my eyes this morning, I reflect on the last few days.  Being blessed by a wonderful visitor that brought back good feelings of the true meaning of the lifestyle to me and gave me more hope that there is possibly someone out there who does feel the way I do about things.

My visitor loved and craved and missed the feel of rope and was very wonderfully emotional during part of a session that melted my heart very much.

I craved giving her something that she hasnt had in years and more, not to show off or to win her over but to be able to express myself in what I do and what I am.

She was allowed to be herself and what she dreamed of as I was able to be myself and do what I do best, to be a master.

It wasnt all play and we enjoyed our company and the air of D/s surrounded us, we were living what we are.  A true slave and master.

She was allowed to kneel and bow without the feeling of being ridiculed, she felt free. As did I.

Just the feel and touch of a slave was something that I craved, I have held others lately and always felt less in one way or the other.

Trying to deny myself is not the way..finding one who is my one was a dream. 

At this time we try to take it slow but we starve so much for this way of life that it is very difficult when 2 people are starving for something that is the same in many ways.

I am honored in so many ways to know someone of this stature. 

it may be the beginning of something beautiful

Head bowed low as I am drawn to desires like a moth to a flame.  denying myself of what I am is not working. Am I that weak or that strong?

I date vanilla but I see something lacking in them.  Something that I have been drawn to so much. They dont seem to get it, they come so close but refuse to look deep inside, resistant, rebellious. it isnt that I see a slave or submissive in them but I see something that could be great but they refuse to see.

It is sad to lose but also good to know that when something isnt right, it is better to move on than to live only half way.

Living a full life is not that complicated, communication and caring and giving and sacrifice is common applications in any relationship.

I am a dominant personality, it is natural, I cant change that. I may like the feel of rope myself but my inner core is dom.  I have honed my skills and walked a walk that is natural to me..to change now is futile but I still try.

searching for that compliment is very difficult. weeding through the ones who claim to be something they arent and then I get weak in my heart and lower my head again in sadness. 

continue in prayer constantly, allowing God to lead..who is it that  brings these in my path?  is it God or the devil?  Is something giving me just enough of a taste of pleasure to lead me astray and then pull the rug out from under me at the last moment?

It has happened several times this year. more than once..no I am not that picky but I must be true and have one that is true as well.   shakes my head at what I see sometimes.  

In time she will be there, willing to walk with me.

I am patient and I am accepting of my fate.

In the mean time my life is purified by fire..like gold. we have to walk through the fire to be made something of worth.

I humble myself before all.

Shadows abound,

reflections of things not there.

Images of them walk toward you then fade.

dreams so violent you wake screaming.

for the last few months I have been retired from the lifestyle, I started going to church and I have really felt led to go a different path. One of the major issues I had when I became a Christian back in the 90's was my desire for bondage. I knew in my heart when I discovered the lifestyle about 12 yrs ago that the bible tells us to abstain from immoral acts so I stopped going to church to venture into something that in my heart I believed was the true me, a Master.  I met a sub, then another and another and I had some good times and some bad, the last one that I lost made me think that I have ran the full circle. I was in love very much and I still ache at times.  So why am I here? why am I posting?

I went to a vanilla sight and met a few there, even had sex with one and it was the most boring time ever. but I endured. I guess I keep a foothold in the lifestyle for now because it is a habit, one that I had been into for so long I dont know anything else.  I have deactivated my and mds accts and even though it is a struggle I stay away.

why stay here? cm was the first acct I had, I hate losing it, but I am sure in time it will go too.

Sad how things change in a way but God doesnt close one door without opening another..so I venture out.

A friend told me that we dont need labels e.g. master/sub to have a good time with our partner..maybe so but I like the structure and protocols. it gives solid foundation to living if both adhere to it.

You are greater than your past. You are stronger than any moment of failure. You can rise like smoke up a chimney. You were meant to spiral to the sky. All the chilling drafts of broken promises should not deny you the gift of life. Never forget you are alive - sometimes weak, sometimes strong, but alive. You will be right some days and wrong some nights, but don't stop waking up in the morning. The morning is god’s gift of another chance to pass the exam.
He has kissed you gently, tenderly, but definitely. It is not the urgent kiss of a desperate lover who makes demands in the night. He has kissed you with the gentle kiss of a father's favor whose tenderness would shield you from traumas of the past. You have been touched, blessed, kissed. One smooch, gently delivered from heaven's lips to human pain. You have been kissed by the father himself. No wonder Satan has failed to destroy in the night what god has prepared for the light. You have been kissed.
This is what you have to know if you are to withstand the darkness.
This is what you must rehearse against the goblins of old images and past memories that would assault your dreams and turn them into nightmares just as sure as a father's kiss would ease a nervous child trying to rest in a strange place, god's kiss is a sedative for you.
No matter how foreign this place in your life may seem, you must know he prepared you for it. When he kissed you, he shielded you and you are his. Safe and secure. you may rest in the sanctity and safety of his arms that will not fail you. A kiss good night is his way of sealing you till morning and it will come; it will not tarry. The morning is yours. Spend it well. Use it sparingly. It is a gift.
The morning is for the hopeful not the regretful. It is expectation. It is wet dew moistening dry ground. It is hummingbirds and honking horns and a city yawning into alertness. Greater still, it is the future lying naked before you. Daybreak is stretching in the fresh hours of a new opportunity just created. It is an empty tomb and a filled manger. It is LIFE, LOVE and HOPE. Never forget about the breaking day. It will come.
Nights will pass, tears will dry and enemies will leave. But you will arise in the morning.

Standing on the top of a bloody ridge, my sword stained with the blood of demons that continuously battle with me, Their faceless bodies lie in heaps around me.  I breathe some as I gaze the battle scene. They regroup for another charge. My armor hangs on me with exhaust but still protects me. I feel my protector guiding me but He has placed me at the head of the army.  My eyes are weakened by sunlight and blurry from lack of rest.  I feel lost, I slice away at life and gradually step forward only to face more demons along the way. I remember a time of more strength and confidence and long for that again.  My battle is not done.  The victories I have won are many and I wonder when that demon will arrive that I will not be able to over come.  I stand firm but I venture into the vanilla world for answers. I see people like me but no labels, their desires are hidden and they are alone in their ideas and are living with it and dealing with it.  Shall I join them and leave the lifestyle behind?  I recall a time in my life where my kink was hidden and those inner battles where fierce. Finding other like minded people was at one time refreshing, now it has grown stale.  Is it God driving me back?  back to Him?  Or is it that a much needed break from all this is needed?  I struggle daily with that direction,  and God has given me this time to either continue my path or change directions.  I am tired, weakened.  I am human and I bleed. my heart aches for something that is out of reach. I grasp for it only to be restricted by time or distance.  I must prepare myself, I see the demons assembling in the distance, getting prepared for more attacks, my sword lifts in preparation, standing in the fighting stance, glaring with anger at them. Ready for another battle.

“Submissives are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The Dom's don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right Dom to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.”

it takes time they keep telling me...it is sad to know that time takes so long sometimes,,,patience is thrust upon us to teach us many things. to be better than ever in what we believe and to learn new ways. I have been torn in so many ways the last several months and even that last few years that I am lost in a sea of paths to go down. I stand at the crossroads and stall. I step down one path and am thrown back to the start again.  I have nothing but time, take advantage of it. I feel a peace within but also the turmoil I hold on to.. the story about there are two wolves inside of us, one evil one good, which wolf wins? the one you feed the most...they are neck and neck sometimes but good conquers evil always.  hold firm, withstand the fire that is burning at the moment, just like it does gold and silver, it purifies you. It shall make you a better person.

Truth and Honor always

looking for someone that can hold my interest. Not just with bondage or sex but with much more. Yes I am looking for fulltime but along the way I have no problem with friends with benefits or play partners but I require one who can carry a conversation and not just give me one word answers to my questions, I hate carrying the conversation and it gets boring. Yes I want to know more about you than just the sex part.  If you are interested I want you interested in me, not what I can do.  

they are all so far away...sighs

through the past years of experience of having and lost I have questioned myself over and over. this isnt a secret, my friends know this well. I have even been to the point that I question myself on my practices as a master. I see this as healthy in growth, I felt I failed in certain areas and I know it takes two to make it work. my confidence restores as I talk to others and they reassure me that it isnt all just me. and it isnt. but I take full responsibility. My practices and protocols still stand strong. my needs are still intact, my desires are still functional. There are faults in my ways I know but the life I lead to be comfortable is not that demanding for anyone. I think the biggest issue is the melding of the the minds. I think with my heart too much some times and truly believe that people are good until proven wrong. my passion gets me into situations that sometimes are hard to make work. Finding one that completes me honestly is not an easy task. The thrill of knowing a ropemaster and the excitement of knowing what I can do sometimes gets in the way of knowing one another. Lately I talk to many that are interesting and somewhat pleasing but as I learn about them I see differences that makes me shake my head in disbelief. Am I too picky? I know I am not the kid in a candy store anymore that wants to tie everyone I come in contact with like I was years ago. I search for long term. A life partner. I am not satisfied with on again off again, or part time. But I also am in no hurry to jump into something just because they claim to be something and turn out the opposite. I have been fooled way too much. I am not a push over but at first I seem over anxious, yea I have been denied my pleasures for some time now and I am needy..ahhh shit happens.
I still stand strong in who I am and what I am capable of. My confidence radiates in many ways. My insecurities fade as one looks deeper inside of me. I hate this searching game, and I know it will come..waiting patiently and getting out more is the key. in the mean time I am enjoying meeting certain ones but hurt due to the distance between us. honesty and integrity always. peace

What do we perceive as blessing and curses in our lives. What may have seemed a curse or a blessing at that moment may turn out to be the opposite as we look back. we all know we have had them. we all know that some of us grow from them and learn new ways from them. transition, soul searching, life changes, hard lessons. they sometimes appear out of no where and knock the wind right out of you. sometimes when you think you have a handle on life it will bring you to your knees in an instant. you stand straight and walk a path and then crippled again to where you crawl again. building yourself up again only to fall until you begin that right path. we are so sure of ourselves sometimes, we start a new but we use the same tactics. what worked for us in the past may not work for us in the future. it is up to us to realize what those tactics are and be honest with ourselves and not only change but to rectify what we did. if we dont, then we live our lives in a viscous circle of immorality, with an inner pain that will linger forever, life is too short for that. Can we tread on hearts and leave them in our wake without fear of recourse? We strive for the best, our past is our past. It depends on me to make me right if I am wrong. I wont depend on others to make me feel good because they fail. it is up to me to make it right. Am I defective? am I faulty? who knows..those curses and blessing are part of life. it is up to us on how we deal with them. I refuse to add more guilt to my heart. there are right ways and wrong ways. be righteous be true. strive for the best. Love like you have never been hurt. or die with all your pain.

Learning to accept our fate can be difficult. I feel like an animal chained and tethered. Hating and fighting against what fate has brought me too. Roaring with displeasure. Not pleased with what has been served. The chains stop me so short of my desires and cravings. I stop fighting long enough to accept circumstances for a moment then believing I have weakened the chains I lash out again, running until the chain pulls me back with a sounding crash...panting from struggles, learning lessons and patience...growls and snarls at my future...loathing my captivity. Patience. Forces are teaching me, not just patience on another relationship but with all aspects of life. teaching an old dog new tricks is never easy..especially this hard headed, set in ways, dog. Maybe it isnt me that needs changing? Not in that many ways.  I have the tools to break the chains, sometimes the right tools are the hardest to use or the hardest ones to pick up and begin with.

there is one out there that is my compliment, there is one out there that appreciates good direct structure in living 24/7. I dont care what your past is, a submissive sometimes needs that structure to feel complete, she desires control over her life because what she has done in the past didnt work. She desires a loving Master who accepts her for her and is willing to be open enough to allow herself to be free from all, not like those so called masters in the past that used and abused. Submitting to me means give me all, heart, mind, body and soul. Give up all that which was in the past and learn to live as a true submissive.
Giving control over a master is difficult but not impossible, I can help with those bad dreams and even help rid the guilt and pain of the past.
You are out there, I feel it..it just means taking that step and allowing one who is truthful, honest and caring to give to you what you long desired...just allow yourself to be open completely. feel the freedom of submission.

stepping out of myself I face me and look close. I ask, "who are you?" I reply to myself, " I am RopeMaster."  looking myself over and walking around me, I look in my eyes, "Are you sure?" I look down at the ground, "no, not anymore." Growing angry I ask myself, "who do you wish to be?" Sighing I say, "the dom I used to be, the one with confidence in who I was and am."  "how do you propose to gain this back?" I ask.  "Sometimes I am not sure, but in time it will come."  I scoff, "dont you think it is time to stop bashing yourself and get off your ass?"  "I think I have done well considering the circumstances."   "what have you done lately to prove this?"  "I have taken care of some issues to make sure my financial situation is in order, I have closed doors in my life that I dont plan to ever open again, I have taken control of daily living and actually enjoying myself and the peace within me." Hands on my hips, glaring, "are you ready to move on?" "I am." "Then do so, you cant fix stupid and you cant fix the past, look ahead, make yourself better and better, someone will come along eventually, and when they do they will see your strength and honor and you both will be better for it."  "You dont see changes in your thinking?" "Yes indeed I have, and I am proud of it.."

“The power to animate all of life's seasons is a power that resides within us.”
--Gail Sheehy, Passages

Starting a new chapter In this life and although I feel lost at times I also feel a inward drive to search and become better in who I am.

I have seen and dealt with resistance for so long I feel empty not having to deal with it now.

I am a caring, loving, nurturing dom who has a passion for tying and giving someone a pleasure that not many can provide totally.

I hate the searching game so late in life, I fooled myself into believing I had the one that was going to be with me for life. but that is gone.

I am not sad over the change but too anxious to move on. I am relieved of the change and strive to move forward and make something better of not just my life but my surroundings and those who desire to know me.

I may appear confused because this change is new to me, dont condemn me for or feel pity for me. support me and watch as the metamorphosis into something better occurs

I so desire to share with someone special if only they were there. in time it will come.

strength and honor always.

I hate this searching game of trying to find a soul mate.

I guess I should be more specific in want I am wanting. yes I am looking for long term full time. I know for a dom on here to say that is sometimes odd due to all the players. 

Serving me is easy, it is sort of like 50's style housewife duties but more, I need someone who will accept me for me and be compatible. my sense of humor ranges from corny to downright sick sometimes but it is all in fun. I love to laugh and enjoy the girl I am with. I dont want a stepford slave that goes by protocol all the time but I do require a "yes Master" from time to time.  Help me with daily liviing, be there for me, I dont think the world revolves around me but your world should. I care for you, I comfort you, I see to your needs. I mold you into what I desire. slowly and painlessly. I am hard to talk to sometimes but I do communicate if done properly.

I dont mind baby girls but ones who are secure enough in themselves and have good feeling about themselves in general, I cant make changes if you dont want to change for the better.  be sincere, dont be a wannabe or play the game just because you think that is what I want. I see through it quickly.  must love being tied and used in many ways (more to come)

i am very creative when it comes to tying someone, I like the variety of several positions and not staying with one tie for very long. I need that person that will be as versatile and enjoy the many ways that they will be tied and used. I enjoy using many things when playing and I always make it enjoyable for both. I love using my hands, my mouth and my cock to use one and i take great pleasure in incorporating pain with pleasure. I am sadistic but not extreme unless one desires that. I also take great pleasure in making one orgasm as many times as I possibly can

Climbing from the grave that was self imposed many years ago, the dirt falling from the shoulders and landing on the ground. Head down, shoulders humped over, one hand supporting as I lift myself out. slowly gazing upon the surroundings and seeing light. The sun beaming down on me as the fog of time lifts slowly. Feeling the sun on my face I begin to straighten, shoulders back, head up, looking toward the heavens. Breathing stronger and with less burdens on the heart. Every breath gains power and strength inside of me. Looking at myself and seeing what I had become and brushing off the filth of the past. stepping up out of the hole and standing erect again...no longer blinded by deceit, no longer looking at the world through clouded eyes and blinded lust, no longer living with the lies. I walk away knowing I did what I could but fell along side of what I hated most, apathy. feeling stronger as I gain control more and more...walking away from that grave, leaving behind the darkness that encompassed a soul too hard to reach. stepping forward with pride and dignity. Restored

strange occurrences going on in my head lately. the anger has subsided and moved to pleased to be rid of her more..not understanding the thought pattern but enjoying the bliss. some of it stems from seeing who she really is, she came from a totally different background, trailer park mentality with a walmart worker sense of seeing things.  i dont want to say i am above that but there were differences in our ways of thinking. she had no concept of tomorrow, it was live it day to day and not be concerned if money was tight and bills were not paid correctly or would put off doing things so as not to be confronted with struggling month by month and that is what she was doing before we met and that is one major reason i had taken her in so quickly. to give her something of stability. she went back to that way of living and that is fine. so be it. i have learned some major lessons  

yes rope gets me hard and yes rope excites me to no end and yes I enjoy sliding my cock in her while her feet are tied spread and in the air. I also enjoy the touch, the closeness, the connection that 2 people have when they are in a scene like this. I take my time and as she is tied I determine what sort of torment to come up with. It could be a cane or flogger or whip or my nails or open hand or my mouth or cock and a combination of all. As she is tied I continuously stimulate her which keeps her in a state that even that little change in stimulation will arouse her even more to the point of begging for another orgasm. my hand over her mouth as I command another one. good girl. I like to explore and express myself, I enjoy finding that sensation that takes her higher. her orgasms are showing me how much she is enjoying this and it drives me to do more. it gets intense, it gets heated, it gets arousing it is erotic, this is my play

i enjoy the sight of a submissive tied and helpless - who is will and responds to my touch and my torment. i am sane and safe when it comes to play and watching them orgasm is my pleasure...feel the rope around you holding you secure while a master takes control

i gave up everything for her in my life, my status in the community, my dignity my control just to have her by my side.  brushing self off and standing straight again is something i have struggled with since she came back. i can say today that i am able to stand and move on. the anger will fade but never go completely, angry with myself for what i did for love

looking for the warmth of a sweet submissive who appreciates the love and care I can provide in return of good service and devotion. it is a 2 way street and I am a firm believer in spoiling one who is not afraid to be the submissive/slave they long for.

seems like the only time I can get along with anyone lately is in the dungeon. outside of it I am a mess mentally. recent events have caused alot of trauma that I want so hard to get past but but it raises its ugly head way too much. hard to focus when you arent sure of the future or even tomorrow now.  I like security and knowing where I am going, this path that is destined for me now is not what I planned but I have to stay grasped to reality or lose. losing is an option always and a crutch sometimes.  i dont handle struggles well if I cant stay in control of them. if they get too much I stress too much and say and hurt the ones I love. 

I enjoy the use of sensual caning and singletails, it is so pleasing to develop a skill that when applied it sends someone into subspace and I am allowed to take them to a level never  achieved

late night thoughts, Love like you have never been hurt. it would be a shame to have to live the rest of your life alone and and isolated and not have that in your heart

ok so I am 57 yrs old. just got out of a 5 yr off and on relationship. what am I seeking?  Companion, one who submits from the heart not because they are just kinky. I seek true love that I thought I had but didnt, looking for long term to share life and living. Friendship and casual play is nice but I am getting too old for games. Must love bondage and most aspects of domination and floggers and canes and whips are a plus.

well went to work and talked with my girl a few times through messages and talked with her at lunch on the phone and everything seemed good, got home from work around 4 and went inside and she had packed all her shit and all the shit of the 4 kids and 2 dogs a cat and a parakeet and was gone.

this is the second  time she has done this and the last. the last time i fought tooth and nail to get her back - i was devastated I made an ass out of myself in front of friends and anyone who would listen to me and i never gave up on trying to win her back. this is the thanks.

yes it is a 2 way street and she has her reasons. fine, live with em, but i dont have to.

angry? well yea. at myself and her. to me we had the best  thing going but it wasnt enough