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| Dutch Dom living in the UK.
For me, Ds is something that comes from within - it's in my DNA and so a part of who I am. Therefore Ds is not something i can switch on and off - Im a Dom and thats something i am very comfortable with.
However, while i treat Ds seriously and I don't role-play, that doesn't mean that i spend my days wearing leather and strutting around with a whip in my hand! While chains and whips are great, they aren’t practical 24/7, and i think with anything relating to Ds you have to be practical as well as realistic - after all, would you honestly want to be chained up and gagged by a fantasist?? Actually i believe the mind is one of the most powerful aspects of Ds - you can chain a body but can you chain a mind? And to have that level of control you need to have a sub that is willing...a sub that craves control, not one that craves to fight it as she craves the punishment (i believe there is a massive difference between punishment and things done during a play session to push a subs's boundaries). I also think Ds is about much more than pain and restraint - it is about tenderness too, a mix of romance and pain - in essence achieving that ultimate balance. And as part of that balance i think the absolute key to Ds is that a Dom should believe that Ds enhances a sub - the Dom is there to help her be the best person she can be and to help her achieve....it certainly not about destroying her.
OK, i know that sounds very deep and serious and believe me, but don’t worry, i don’t believe in jumping in and suggesting ownership at a first meeting!! In fact i think ownership can take years! Ownership is the same as marriage in my book and you wouldn’t propose on a first date would you?? Please say you wouldn’t!!:-). So i don’t have any expectations, but lets chat, meet, get to know each other and see what develops without pressure or expectation - what have you got to lose?
Sir Dennis
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