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MissDee4dali
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I am not looking.
[Update: I have found a true treasure. I had never imagined that someone would approach me that fit my dream of a girl so closely and completely. Yet, this girl does. We have grown very close, very quickly and it even surprises me how quickly it has happened.
I am happy for once in a very long time. I wake up thinking of my treasure and she is always on my mind.
She has filled my heart with joy and I look forward to the day I can hold her in my arms. Everyday we speak for hours, and I have even just listened to her sleep when she has been so tired that she has fallen asleep while talking to me.
My greatest joy is that she has submitted to me completely and dreams of being the best slave possible for me.
We met on April the 13th, and over the next three weeks we spent 16 days together 24/7.
Those days are the most beautiful days of my life. We laughed. We played. We had fun. We fell more in love. We became engaged. She begged my collar in realtime and wears it now about her neck 24/7.
My girl now lives with me full time and we are looking forward to the marriage.
I have added several photos to my profile. Most of her and one of some of her Beauty Queen awards, (since someone claimed I was delusional).
She is my babygirl, my love, my everything.]
I am Lakota, Cherokee, Miami, Comanche, Gaelic, German, Celt, and English mixed.
I have ancestors that are warriors and chiefs, knights and kings. Yet, none of this matters, for what matters is I am who I am, born a dominant, a natural born leader, and I honor all my ancestors.
Being an author of erotic romance for women I have had to learn a woman’s body like few men have ever even imagined to attempt to do. I have had readers inform me of their arousal at my words to points that they did not believe was possible by words alone.
Think about it, if my words alone were able to arouse them to the point of a climatic explosion what are the possibilities that lie with me if I had had them within my grasp.
Then there are those rare few, those special few that have heard me speak, that have heard my voice and my words have aroused their loins beyond that explosion. There was one very special one that had heard me many times. One that had made me realize that even though I may be a Master, I also have many qualities of a Daddy. I had never mingled the two in my mind so perfectly before meeting her. Unfortunately, we were not to be, but I thank her for the things she taught me about myself.
One reviewer of my novel for a BDSM site exclaimed that I truly knew what BDSM was and that my writing showed that I truly knew the difference between a submissive and a slave. Surprisingly, even those that claim to be a submissive or slave do not often know the true simple difference of the two and use the two words interchangeably as if there were no difference at all. I do know, there is a very simple difference but it makes all the difference in the world.
A true slave should not place the looks of a Master above his nature and his heart; she should look into his soul and see the true nature of the Master inside. No, I am not saying that all handsome men are not true Masters, many are, but others are naïve, or are seeking just the thrill and have not mastered their own needs and desires so how can they Master another. If they give way to alcohol or drugs then they are no Master. There are too many that cannot and will never be able to live up to the claims that they make.
I can live up to my claims.
Read the excerpts of my book, better yet, read my book. Find out for yourself whit kind of Master I would be. Then you would know me like no other.
According to a Lakota Sioux Medicine Man who gave me my native name, I am he who arranged the clouds.
I am he who arranges words to create the images that drive women to passion.
I am a bear of a man.
I am Robert Cloud.
One last major comment before I speak about my past relationships. Just because you are a submissive or a slave does not mean you cannot fight to hang onto a relationship. If the Dominant in your life has misunderstood something that has happened don't just accept his decision if you have proof that can correct it. Show him, perhaps he wants you to prove yourself worthy of him. Perhaps he wants to know you did not lie, or mislead him, and all he wants is to see you will fight for what you have with him. Don't just curl up and let that relationship pass you by if it truly means something to you.
Once I had a list of the number of fakes, players, real, etc, that I had run across... That really does not matter. What matters is that my heart has found comfort and joy in one very special person that is my best friend.
I am not looking.
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Life has been amazing for the last year and 1/2. Even though I am taking an experimental medicine for my cancer, even though my teeth have been killing me because I have not been able to afford dental work for 3 years, even though my back is out and I am in extensive pain right now I am thankful.
Thankful for 3 years ago when my precious nikki contacting and coming into my life.
She takes care of me and helps me with no complaint. She is a dream come true, both beautiful in body and soul.
I had never imagined someone so wonderful entering my life and changing the way I feel about everything. My nikki is a true jewel, more valuable than all the gems, jewels and treasures in the world gathered together.
I pray she never leaves my life. The truth being I doubt she will, for we are engaged and life is wonderful. I thank the Creator for bringing her to me. I only wish I could get her to see how valuable she is to me.
Someday she will no longer doubt her worth to me, someday she will know that I love her with every fiber of my existence.
Dominique Nicole I love you. |
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For the first time in my life I have had a woman that is truly passionately in love with me share a Valentine's Day with me.
Even during my long nightmare of a marriage not once did that happen.
To finally have a woman in my arms, not just a slave, but the whole of a woman, has been utterly fulfilling and I know the feeling of being a complete man.
My dreams have come true and now I am building new dreams and hopes as this life with my angel at my side continues.
And though I am in constant pain from the renal carcinoma, (the tumors are less than half the size they were, so the treatments are working), I can truly say, "It is GOOD to be ALIVE!!" |
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Life in the past year and then some has been a surreal experience.
My joy of being with my angel has been unimaginable. She is perfect in every way that I could have dreamt of. She is a treasure.
I found out I have cancer. Thankfully the medicine has worked well, and thank the Creator for insurance. I know most people have a horrible time with theirs. I have too, however my insurance is set that I only had to pay my deductible once on this one medication (without insurance it would be $8,000 a month, and no that is NOT an exaggeration). For the rest of the year all my covered medications except one are free, and that one is only $10.00.
Now for those who have been waiting for my sequel to Toy's Story I have some news.
The rough draft of both books two and three are done. I am beginning to work on the primary rewrite.
I will do all I can to get it out as fast as I can.
Thank you,
Robert Cloud |
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On April the 13th I got off the bus in her city and there she was sitting in the seats waiting for me. I saw her long golden hair and just stared. I was stunned...
She was even more beautiful in person than her pictures and I was terrified that she would reject me for I am so much larger than her. She is only 5'-0 and under 100 pounds and I am 6'-1 and almost 350. Such opposites, and yet it was her that had found my profile and had started the relatiobship seeking out me.
So I approached. When I said her name she did not respond. Later I found out she was pretending not to hear me, partly from wanting to act nonchalant, but partly out of her own fears that I would reject her.
I sat beside her and touched her hand. We did not talk long, just said it was real, for the ride was waiting and parked illegally so we had to go.
She had been afraid that she would take a long time to warm up to me, but I had told her that we were already close, even though we had only just met in realtime, we had talked for up to 12 hours a day, every single day, since we had begun talking, and all of that except for the first day had been on the phone.
I was right and it was amazing how quickly we were kissing and hugging. We cuddled and caressed and talked. For two nights that was all we did, nothing more. We did not play in the lifestyle, we were enjoying the love of our relationship first.
We did not have sex those first nights, for we wanted to get to know each other and make certain. On the third night however, the passions flared and the love would not be tamed. We did not have sex... we made love.
For 16 days out of the next 21 we were together 24/7 (the others I was with my parents in another state while she was with her daughter). We did play some in the lifestyle but not much. Mostly we developed our Master/slave and our love relationships. It was wonderful.
We laughed, and joked. We watched movies. We shared everything. I have never had such a fantastic time with anyone in my life and I have never been so in love.
There are several pictures of my babygirl, my angel in my profile. I am so proud of her.
I am proud of the fact I can lift her and carry her like she is a doll. She is my babydoll... |
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This has nothing to do with anyone here on the site, nor anything to do with my babygirl but it has to do with something I find very important none-the-less.
Why do some people find it necessary to make themselves seem like heroes of the day, they lie about coming to aid you and help you with something, even unto the very last minute saying they are on their way, don't worry about a thing but then at the last moment they admit to you they never intended on coming and then ask you to "Please don't be mad."
They just could not find a way to get there and knew they could not be able to help you if they could.
They were not asked to help. There assistance was never even suggested. They just offered and they even were the ones that made the statements about not worrying, they would be there even though you never once asked if they would be there. They perpetuated their lie on their own accord without any comments from you to encourage the lie.
Why is it that some people feel this need to make themselves seem larger than life?
In this case, I had been there many times to help support and encourage this person for over three years as their life went through one bad turn after another. Encouraging them that things would get better and indeed they did. A miracle occurred in their life and they are on the road to success and financial freedom. I am truly happy for them. They needed never lie to me, yet they did and in the process they destroyed a three year friendship. |
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On 3/17/2007 a month will have passed since the first time the words "I love you" had crossed the lips of my treasure and entered my ear.
To many, yes, this is a wonderful thing, but perhaps the significance of the import to me is lost in the flippant way that most use the term love when even referring to those they supposedly care for in life.
Many use it as carelessly as they say, "I love ice cream," or "I love chocolate," when the term should be used so sparingly when it comes to the heart.
Perhaps that is also why I tend to use in text the terms "luv" and "love" separately... "luv" is more of a friendly gesture for me, the love of a friendship, but "love" is deeper and more profound.
My treasure had met me a week before the end of January. Unlike, many I had met in my past she did not begin using that word within only a few days. I even had others that were telling me that they loved me while she and I were talking but I was only friends with them.
In my past I have had so many declare their love for me in less than a week and in each case they all turned out to be more in love with the idea of love than with me. As they got to know me better they still declared their love for me but they also began to pull away or worse, just outright cheat without leaving or breaking it off though they had sworn or begged to be under exclusive consideration or in some cases to even be collared.
No, my treasure held off on saying those words. Even after I knew in my own heart that I had fallen for her. Even on Valentine's Day itself she did not say those words...
Then on the 17th of February she said them. She said, "There is something I think you ought to know."
I asked, "What?"
Her response, "I love you."
It took her two more weeks before she could ask to be mine... and that still terrifies her. It will for right now we cannot be together and she does not know what to expect.
On a typical day we talk for about 6 hours or more on the phone. Sometimes we even run out of things to say and just listen to each other breathe, other times we choose a topic and discuss an off the wall topic because we want to learn so much about each other.
The current plans are for me to see her in less than 4 weeks and we are both excited. Yet, it helped relieve a great deal of her tension when she discovered I felt it would be best to save consumating our relationship (at least with intercourse, anal or vaginal) until after we are actually living together, and perhaps all forms of sexual activity would be best to wait. She informed me she would have done anything I wanted, she did not want to lose me but to know she does not have to do that to keep me helps her to respect and love me even more.
It thrilled my heart to know she would have done anything I asked of her... but I also want her to be comfortable and in making my decision to wait I helped her and I also helped to maintain my own honor and respect for myseld...
EVEN IF IT HAS BEEN 1214+ DAYS since I have last had sex... lol... |
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To almost lose the one you love over something so small as a misunderstanding that you did not even cause nor did they is one of the worst pains you can imagine.
To feel your heart being ripped asunder and there is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, only pray that they will listen long enough that you can get them to see it was not anyone's fault but only an error of words and a misunderstanding and judgement of time.
No one lied, truth is the truth from each person's perspective, but sometimes perspective is altered by things about someone that makes them see it differently than another. So a simple error can almost destroy what has been so wonderful.
Thankfully, it has been resolved and all is well, but for a time today my heart felt the pain of loss and once again I knew the heartache I had hoped to never feel again. |
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For those of you that know me and have been interested in my personal triumphs.
I achieved another goal today.
Let me begin by explaining the situation.
Until the age of 6 I was underweight, then a series of normal childhood illnesses occurred back to back leaving me bedridden one whole summer. My metabolism changed, but in those days and after being underweight to the point that doctors and family had been worried I was ill my gaining weight was looked upon as a sign of good health. Even when I began to get overweight 20, 30, even 40 pounds for a young lad that was over 5 foot tall was nothing.
But it continued. When I reached 6 foot tall and high school I was 60 pounds overweight, I maintained that most of my high school years only getting to about 75 pounds by my senior year.
I managed to hold that for a long time then I gained another 50 after school and hit 300. I was 6'-3 and 300 pounds.
I managed to get that back down to 280 in 1985 when I was in an auto accident that caused severe nerve damage to my neck and head. Exercise became impossible. I lived with a constant headache. For many years I could not control the headache and many of the medications they used to try to help combat the pain actually increased my weight. I eventually hit 475 pounds by 1997.
In 2002 I did my first major self created diet.
I lost 100 pounds in 6 months. The doctor ordered me to stop it though, and over the next 4 years I managed to keep most of it off only gaining back 25 pounds. I was back up to 400.
Since November of 2006 I have been on a second self created diet, this one is not as drastic and is not messing with my biochemistry as badly.
I am now down to 345 as of today 3/6/2007
So from my highest point I am 130 pounds lighter, and 55 of those pounds have been in the last 4 months.
I have somehow shrunk in height.. perhaps due to my excessive weight.. I am now 6'-1 3/4, my ideal weight is now 180. My goal though is 225 for now. Which would be a total of 250 pounds or more than half of my highest weight.
Once I get to that point I will decide if I want to go further to my ideal or stop. I have 120 pounds left to go, more than half way to my final goal, but my milestone was a major one.
The Goal of 350... 350 is the maximum that most Doctor's scales can weigh. So now I can be weighed at every doctor's office and not have to tell them what I was weighed at my primary doctor's office. 350 is the maximum weight that many diagnostic machines can handle so now I can take many test I had had to by pass before. 350 has been a weight I have not weighed in over 15 years and now I am there again and below... Yes for me it was a major milestone. Made by pure will power, with no medical aids, no stimulants, no drugs, just my own diet that I designed and my own will power. |
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March 3, 2007 will always be a day I remember. Today is the day that my treasure asked me to accept her as my slave.
In the past, most relationships I have had, the girls that have asked this have asked it quickly and with ease. Some have asked it within only a few days of knowing me.
My treasure has known me for well over a month and the feelings we have for each other are very strong. We understand that this is the beginning of her training, and that the real test will begin when we can move in together which our dreams are that that will take place this late spring or summer depending on how fast my house sales.
I am her first Master, and I hope I will be her only Master. We both hope that we will spend our lives together for I have dealth with enough players and fakes and this girl is sincere.
Her request was the hardest thing she had ever done. She wanted to ask me, she struggled for nearly two days with it to get the courage to ask, many times starting and the words would freeze in her throat. Tears come to her eyes for she wanted to ask it so badly, but she was terrified, for she knew the import of the question she was about to ask, and was afraid of the change in would make in her life.
She had never given up her submission completely to anyone before, and this was her first time. She had dreamed of this day for almost 20 years. Since she was a small child, and the day had finally come and it was the most difficult things she had ever done, afterwards she cried like a baby for awhile, and felt unhappy and scared for the loss of her freedom, she has not yet learned the joy she will feel as she comes to realize the freedom she has found in her submission.
She had studied it and knows it is there, but it is still frightening to her. This is one of those times I truly hate long distance relationships, but she also said, if I had been face to face with her she was afraid she would not have been able to do it at all, the terror would have been even greater.
I look forward to watching her blossom and grow. I had already seen much of it in the time we had been together as I had begun some basic training already, and in many ways she had already submitted, it just had not been official, she had not actually said anything. Nos she has and she is mine and I am so proud of my little baby... |
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Heart and soul I am with the one that holds my heart as she lies in ER. She fell asleep behind the wheel of her car. Had it not been for the quick thinking and actions of her daughter she would have crashed into a gas pump and her and her daughter would have gone to meet the Creator tonight.
They are running tests to see if she had a seizure because her daughter said it was sudden, she went from wide awake to completely asleep in the blink of an eye. She passed out.
No matter what you think of me or what you think of my actions or the things said about me, whether they are true or false it does not matter. This girl does not deserve to be taken from this life so young nor have this happen to her. So I ask your prayers, not for me.. for her.. |
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How silly is it that three little words can make a man come to tears? |
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Sometimes when you find the one of your dreams there are those that had hoped that they had a chance with you and are hurt by that. I truly regret the pain that my finding my treasure has caused to my dear friends and pray we can remain friends. I had no intention of hurting anyone, but sometimes someone comes along that fits every thing you ever desired. Every kink, every physical characteristic, every laugh, and personality quirk so perfectly that it is almost like a miracle that they even exist.
I could not help the feelings that came over me for I have been dreaming of this girl since I was seven. Then for her to actually walk into my life, and she approached me, I did not even see her profile first, and when she did approach me at first I thought she was a scam. She went out of her way to prove to me she was not.
I did not believe in destiny and destiny slapped me in the face.
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I am offering as an incentive for those that may be interested in an autographed copy of my BDSM erotic romance, "Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy" a little bonus.
Check under the Sought or for Sale under Artisans and you will be able to see a picture of a hand woven sead bead collar that will be similar to one that will be pictured in the sequel to the first book.
One of those who purchase one of the 10 specially priced copies of "Toy's Story" will receive this collar. So hurry, you only have until January 31st to purchase your copy. |
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I sit and I ponder the things that are laid out before me, the path that is before me is lined with high brick walls and is covered with razor wire above. Each time I try to find a way to change my path I come across some new guard carrying some new gun that I have never seen the likes of in the form of a regulation or law or some other problem that forces me back to the path that I do not wish to be upon.
I sit and I understand when I read an article about someone that has committed murder and suicide, I understand why they were driven to that extreme. It is not the path I will take for it is not one that I believe in, nor that I believe my Creator would allow me a chance of redemption if I were to fail and fall to that path, and yet, I do understand.
I sit and I look at my dog that is eleven years old. His back legs do not function properly anymore, and I know that if they do ot improve come spring I will have little choice but to have him put down. His eyes look up to me, and he is happy, he does not complain, but he struggles and it is difficult to watch him when he cannot get across a hardwood or linoleum floor. Most of the time his back legs will slide out from under him and it is like he is trying to swim across the floor but only moves about a foot for every minute of struggling. It would be easier if he seemed to be in pain, but he does not, he shows no signs of pain at all, and he tries so hard, but I have already seen the VET and the operation is not even guaranteed to help, and it is $5000 more than I have. Damn they don't have pet insurance. Even if they did, the operation has a 25% chance of making things worse, a 25% chance of no change and only a 50% of making things better. So it is a gamble. Yet, a gamble to gain 2 to 3 more years with him at most as well. For that is the average lifespan. It hurts, but I may still have no real choice, even if I had the money, putting him through the pain of the surgery and recovery at his age for those odds I am not certain I could do it. Especially since he is in no pain now, I would rather keep him another year and try to keep him off the slick floors and until he was having trouble on carpet as well, or until he could no longer stand to defecate. That is what I am watching for, as long as he can do that in the yard, then I am still hoping he will improve.
Things are just tough all over, in all ways, life, love, family, health, and nothing seems to get better but continues to get worse. Yet, I stand tall and continue to face each day with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today was.
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Today should be a great day.
It is not only the first day of a new year with many new dreams promised ahead and new hopes that look to be coming true but a wonderful news was given to me that should have made my day fantastic and I should have felt like dancing.
Today I was informed that someone went to purchase my book from Barnes and Noble and when the clerk tried to order it the computer told him that the distributor was sold out.
That means my first printing of my first novel has sold out.
That is an author's dream. Many authors never realize that no matter how many books they have printed. That is why many stay with eBooks and never have printed works done after their first one.
My first book has sold out, and in less than a year. Yes, it was not a tremendous amount of copies but then again it is the subject of BDSM and a Romance combined, and it does not have the benefit of mainstream advertising so it has been word of mouth. So that is an accomplishment worthy of praise.
But I am not celebrating. I am not filled with joy. Truth be known, I am rather depressed by it. You see, I cannot celebrate, I cannot dance and scream about my success.
I will not go into details but every time I mention the book it brings me grief. I have no one to celebrate with, the only people around call me a Monster for having written it.
There is no one to even hug and share a moment's happiness with. So instead I am not brought to happiness but to bitterness because what I should be able to be happy about I must bury and not express my joy.
It is because an ILLNESS controls this house. One I hope will soon be gotten rid of, one that is being treated but until it is resolved there is nothing I can do about it. I must be strong and hold back my emotions.
So, what should be a joy for me brings me grief. |
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Today I added an addendum to my comments on Forgiveness versus Forgetfulness of the 27th.
Someone mentioned to me that once you forgive someone you should act toward them as if the thing they were forgiven of had never occurred.
That simply is not true.
To see the rest of my comments look to my December 27th entry, near the end, or read the full thing to get the jist of my full argument on this issue. |
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The Importance of Making an Oath
I am of Native American Descent and to me an oath is deeper than most people take it. Most people today look upon an oath as nothing more than a piece of paper that can be crumbled and thrown away. Much like the 750+ treaties that the US Government made with the Native Americans and did not keep even one of them.
Yet, to me an oath is sacred. It is my honor, it is who I am, and it does not even matter if the power to fulfill that oath is taken out of my hands or not. The failure to fulfill that oath whether by my direct failure or because someone prevented me is still my fault and my wrong, and for that I pay the penalty for my failure as if I had intentionally broken my oath.
This is why I do not enter into an oath lightly, it is something of great importance, and should only be done if you truly intend to complete it. If you truly intend to invest the effort and will to make certain that you do everything within your ability to fight to make sure it is accomplished and that if something does try to prevent you from succeeding that you still try to get around that barrier to fulfill the oath you made.
This goes for the oath a slave makes to her Master or the Master makes even to his slave. This goes for the promise made to a child, or to the vows made anywhere.
Yes, sometimes things will happen that those oaths MUST be broken. Sometimes they MUST be broken because the other party did not live up to the agreement, maybe it was no fault of their own but still their agreement was broken and therefore your bond is also terminated.
Here is where marriage vows often come into play. If one party cheats, and cheating does not always mean that they have sex with someone else, but perhaps they refuse to have sex with their mate at all (this is not a one time thing, this is a continual constant thing, so don't think that if your spouse refuses you once that your vows are broken. This would be like if your spouse refuses you for a year or more straight). The vows include sexual relationships and when those are not honored then the vows are broken. In Native Tradition that would be the end of the marriage right there. There would be no need for the legality of the courts of the government but we have to follow our current laws.
Yet, those are not the only oaths that people easily break and throw away like discarded trash. Oaths of friendship, oaths of loyalty, oaths of brotherhood, oaths of submission.
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard of a submissive or slave that has broken her oath because of one incident that she disagreed with her Owner, or over a single argument. Or an Owner that took on the responsibility to own someone and took back her collar at the very first sign of disobedience instead of correcting and training her. Your oath should have you working to make the relationship work. To strive to make it work and not just crumble the paper and toss it aside so quickly.
Yet, do not stay in an abusive situation either because that is also a breech of oath. A Master swears to protect his property, abuse is defiling his property not protecting it and therefore your oath is no longer required, the owner already broke theirs.
The key here is this.
Never enter an oath unless you intend to follow it through unto the end no matter what. Even if something tries to prevent you you must be willing to strive to get past those barriers and if you fail you must be willing to pay the consequences even if it was not your fault that you failed.
The only time your oath is not considered binding is when the one you gave your oath to breaks their agreement to you, then you have every right to seek punishment upon them or to walk away from your oath. |
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There often seems to be a confusion between forgiving and forgetting.
Over and over again when someone has done something and they have been forgiven for it then later on they do something similar and the first incident is brought up they say you forgave me for that you cannot bring that up.
That is not true. That is forgetting the first incident. You cannot forget it, that would be foolish.
When you commit a crime and you pay the penalty. You commit a second similar crime the penalty is going to be greater because it is your second offense. It is not that you are paying again for your first, it is because YOU did it again. Therefore you have to pay a larger penalty, the court did not forget the crime, they forgave it because you paid the penalty, but they did not forget it.
That is the same thing with all of us.
If someone lies to you and you forgive it, and they promise to never lie to you again but do, bringing back up the fact of the first lie is not saying you did not forgive the first lie it is saying you did not forget it.
It is reminding the other of the promise, and that the first lie should have been a clue that perhaps you should have been more diligent. For more often than not one lie, especially early in a relationship will lead to another, even if they were the one to confess.
This is not always the case, and in the particular case I am mentioning it turned out that the second situation was not a lie but a misunderstanding caused by another, and it was not even the person that was involved that said that once something is forgiven it should never be brought back up but someone else entirely.
The point is, it is not true. Forgiving something, does not wipe it from the memory, and a repeat offense does not mean that a harsher punishment says that the first offense was not forgiven. It says that I care enough to stop this before it gets out of hand.
Don't get forgiveness and forgetfulness confuses. I am not a fool... I will not forget someone's wrongdoing, I will forgive them if they seek forgiveness, but I will not forget it.
To do so would be to set myself up to be used or hurt again by that same person and I will not do that.
Addition on December 30th 2006
Recently someone said to me that when you forgive someone it means you are supposed to act toward them as if they had never done the thing they had done.
That simply is not true.
You can forgive someone for cutting off your hand. That does not restore your hand, how are you going to act toward them as if your hand is back.
Or if they have killed a loved one and have served their time, you can forgive them but are you going to leave them alone with your child. Be serious, they have to earn your trust, they have to prove to you that they are worthy to have the trust to be alone with your child so that you know your child is truly safe with them and that they will not harm your child. It does not mean you have not forgiven them for the killing of your other loved one, it just means you are NOT a fool.
It goes for something as simple as a lie as well.
Someone has lied to me, I may forgive them of that lie, now they have to prove to me that they are not going to lie to me again. It does not mean I have not forgiven them of the first lie, it just means that now they have to rebuild the trust that they damaged by telling the first lie to begin with. I still have forgiven them, I do not hold that lie against them, they are not going to be punished for it, they are not going to have to make amends for it, but they still have to earn my trust again. It just means I am not a fool and I am not going to allow myself to be lied to again.
Forgiveness does not equal forgetfulness, to do both sets yourself up to be a fool. |
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More pet peeves that earn the automatic HIDE button..
#1. Any slave or submissive that uses any form of profanity in her profile for any reason.
I understand that the wannabes and players and their constant harassment of emails can be thwarting and frustrating but again that is what the mail controls, block and delete buttons are for. In your PROFILE, you want to present the best appearance, when you comment about these emails in your journal of profile you can do so without the use of profanity. The use of profanity takes away from any respect I might have had for you and I read no further on the profile.
#2. Nude pictures. Come on girls. You are just begging for the weirdos to come out of the woodwork when you post a nude or partial nude picture. If you cannot sell your best features with your profile and a face picture or a fully clothed picture then you should rework your profile.
When I see a slave or submissive that posts a nude picture I feel she has become worthless to me. Suddenly any real special value her body would have had to me has been shared with the entire world. What would have been mine and mine alone to look upon now all can see and I have no choice in the matter as to whether that happened or not.
I won't even show all of a girl of mine to the world. I had considered the possibility of having a picture taken with my girl naked in my lap, with her backside turned toward the camera and her face nestled against my shoulder. My arm and hand covering most of her ass, only enough visible so that it is clear she is naked and owned, but not enough so that anyone really sees anything of import.
To me that is far more sensual and controlling, and displays both my power and my protectiveness of her. It shows I own her and control her, and yet that SHE IS MINE and MINE alone and not for the whole world to drool over or goggle at.
When I see a naked picture of a girl in her profile, I admit, I might stop and drool a moment if she is beautiful, and I might wish she had not done that, but then I hit the hide button and she will never get an email from me.
#3. Email length. Oh, I love to see girls that say they do not like one-liners or form letters. Even though I have been accused of writing form letters when they were not. But to see in the same email message, no one liners and no long emails is ridiculous. Next they will be demanding an exact 100 word essay in reply.
Where is that hide button.. there it is... click.
#4. L33t Speak... I have mentioned this before, but it drives me insane so I will say it again.
Take the time to spell out your words. DO NOT USE "U" FOR "YOU" or "UR" FOR "YOUR"
And learn the difference between Your, and You're.. I cannot stand seeing someone using the shortened form of words. It shows laziness and a lack of concern for what others think.
#5. SPELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you cannot spell, type your profile in a different word processing program first and use the spell checker. Then check it, and please learn the difference between Dominant and Dominate..
#6. And STOP!!!! Saying Female Domme, or Female Mistress... A Domme and a Mistress are female.. If your idiotic responders are not catching on to that then reply to them and ask them to email you after the sex change operation. When they email you again, just say that they emailed you when you asked for a Domme or Mistress which are both female, so they must obviously be planning to have the operation soon because you know they are too smart to not realize that those words are females. That will stop them. |
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It is funny.
In the last few weeks how many times I have had people tell me or email me saying that I am exactly the kind of Master they are looking for.
That they are very interested.
Some have sent me pictures and asked if I would be interested in them. Others have not.
.
If there is no picture I ask for a picture of their FACE! I do not want a nude shot, that is not something I want, but I do not tell them that. If they send me a nude shot I reply and tell them that they could not follow instructions and I do not want someone that cannot follow instructions.
Sometimes I ask for a Face picture with them holding a card with my name on it. This is especially if they have included their IM ID and want me to add them right away. I am not going to do it until I know that the picture they are sending is real and not something they have downloaded off the net.
Then I tell them, if they are seeking money they can forget it. It is not that I am not generous, I am, but only after I own someone and they are in my real life. I never send money to anyone that I have not met and that I do not know in real time. Period.
Only one of those in the last few weeks that emailed me out of the blue emailed me a second time. She was not interested in money, she was interested in my Native Heritage.
Okay, that was nice, that I can do. I gave her my IM address. But Yahoo was upgrading that night so we had to wait until the next day before adding it. I received seven emails from her that night and in at least three of them she asked me not to forget to add her IM ID.
I did not forget. We IM'd one time. The next day her collarme account went black, she had deleted it. Of course, I knew why. Too many jerks and wannabes hounding her and sending her all the nasty emails. There are so many rude people on this site and I wish there was something CollarMe could do about it. Because those jerks run a lot of good people off as well.
There was nothing between this person and I but her interest in my heritage. Yet, after what happened on collarme she also removed me from her Yahoo account. I figured she felt that perhaps I was like the others but had just not yet shown my true colors.
I have had several people that have become my friends from here. Some would be more if distance were not a factor, some can never be more even if distance were not a factor.
There are many that have asked me if things make it possible can we have one night together. They have seen my heart, they want to feel what it would be like to be mine for just one night since it can never be full time.
There are many I wish I could have just one night together with, but I know the pain of such encounters.
Right now I am in a quandry... confused... my heart torn with love and yet there are doubts... doubts because of the things in my past... of my own doing... things I have had happen in the past and see inklings that could be signs of them repeating or just circumstantial because of the distance that currently lies between...
Time will tell... Time will either erase my doubts or confirm them. |
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Though currently I am not looking for anyone new to enter my life, I still look at profiles and there are some things that glare at me and say to me that if I were looking this person would be someone I would never even consider as someone I would talk to. So, I hit the Hide Button.
I also tend to hit the Hide Button on anyone that is owned or being considered out of respect, for most of the time their owners or future owners do not even want them talking to dominants on a friendship basis. I find this absurd, but I respect their wishes and do so.
But back to my first train of thought, the things that stand out as obvious signs of my disapproval.
The #1 and most profound reason is a complete lack of proper use of the English language, IF THEY ARE FROM THE US. When I see someone that has no knowledge of how to use the language properly then I know I will have no ability to be able to communicate with them on an equal level. Even though I would be seeking a slave, to me the mind is the MOST important aspect of the slave. Far above her looks and any other aspect, if she does not have an intelligence level of nearly equal or superior to mine I do not want to have her as mine.
#2. To see someone that considers themselves a slave or submissive name themselves with the term PRINCESS, QUEEN, GODDESS, or the like. Only a Owner has the right to give an owned submissive or slave such a name, any other sees themselves at too high a standard and is more of a bottom or switch for my taste than a submissive or slave. If they wear that name I do not even consider them at all.
#3. To see a submissive or slave put themselves down to the point that they obviously show no self-esteem at all. They are offering the greatest treasure in the world to a potential owner, their submission or surrender and yet they see themselves as worthless, if that is how they see themselves then what worth is that treasure to me.
#4. To see a submissive or slave whine about one relationship after another. Okay, fine, you can complain about the previous one, the Master or Owner was a jerk, don't go into extreme details, don't go into whining about how all Owners are that way for it is not true. You are clumping everyone into one category and sterotyping them because of a few jerks. A whiner tells me I am not going to have a slave that I can enjoy but one that is going to whine at every opportunity about every command and I will wind up releasing her and will be just another in her list to whine about but the truth will be she caused it because she cannot let the past go.
(Personally, I do not think a slave should complain about her previous Master at all unless he turned out not to be a real Master but a fake, or wannabe, or an abuser. In that case others need to be warned, but CollarMe has rules so you cannot post his name anyway, so it is hard to do the warning.
A slave is not a whiner, and when I see a slave whining it automatically tells me I am not interested at all.)
#5. A slave or submissive that cannot decide if they are a slave or submissive. I can understand the being a submissive and desiring to find the One that you can surrender all to so that you can be a slave. But there are many that swing back and forth, back and forth, like a pendulum and just stop it. If you truly cannot decide stay a submissive. Then if someone comes along that truly does make you crave to be a slave, then and only then make that leap, but until then stay the one. Set your mind to be one, and stop being wishy-washy.
#6. Those that complain about all the losers, wannabes, jerks, players, and so on here to the point they consider leaving the lifestyle. Well Go already.. First of all, have you not seen the block button.. If they bother you so much just block them, you can also set your filter to filter out the responses from those you do not want to hear from, so you do not need to tell those over 60, I do not want to hear from you. Just put it in your filter. Or, no submissive men, just put it in your filter. Why waste your time and space in your profile complaining about those you do not want to hear from, just set your filters to throw those into your bulk mail and delete the bulk mail from time to time. No need to worry about it.
And as far as considering leaving the lifestyle, either you are of the lifestyle or you are not. If you are going to leave it, then do so, you were never truly of it to begin with and that is one less player to deal with. For if you were of the lifestyle you could not even consider leaving it. You may stop searching for a time, you might stop being active in it for a while, but your heart and your soul will never leave it. So never say you are leaving it unless you are not truly serious about it and if that is the case then go and don't come back.
#7. The one word or one line profile. If a slave or submissive is not going to take the time to try to impress me with who she is by at least typing something about herself that is worthy of my time, and I do read the full profile, then I am NOT going to respond except to tell her that her profile is unworthy. Yes, I have done that on occasion, to teach. After which I hid her profile for if she did not respond to my email I never wanted to see her account again. She had not struck my interest nor did she care if she had. If she emailed me, then I taught her why and encouraged her to change her profile. Of the three I have rebuked in this nature, two have changed their profile. One was rude and profane and is one of only five people on my block list.
#8 The age vs weight ratio mistake. Whether this is a typo or this is because of the lack of knowledge from someone outside of the USA who is trying to run a scam there is one thing that will get an immeditate Hide Button click from me and that is when the weight of a person does not even come close to matching what the height says it should be. No, I am not talking about overweight, that does not bother me. Nor even women that are underweight, but when you see someone that is 5'-6 and their weight reads 19, okay.. maybe they meant 190. But I have also seen someone that said 6'-0 and the weight said 65, or 80. Again, maybe they meant Kilos but they said they were in the US, in a state like Alabama where the thought of listing your weight in Kilos is about as foreign as eating tarantulas as the main course for dinner.
If it is a typo, that is one thing someone should have noticed and fixed right away. Honestly, I would rather see NO weight listed than that huge of a mistake, and I would rather see a height listed than a weight.
#9. Any profile that already has as their location a place in the US and then in the profile they list that they are in the USA or United States of America, or the States.
First of all most Americans will say the US, not the USA, or add of America, or say the States. Secondly, anyone saying that is likely NOT from the US to begin with, and the funniest part of it is that 95% of these will say they are Native American. Yet ask them what tribe... They will have no clue what you are talking about. Outside of the United States the majority of Nations that are not European do not understand that Native American does not refer to someone who is a natural born American but to one of the people that are descended from the indigenous peoples of this continent. They think Native American means you are BORN in the USA, plain and simple. So ask them what tribe, if they cannot answer, you know it is a scam.
#10. Okay this one is just personal and has nothing to do with any thing bad. I just happen not to like the idea of having a slave that is taller than me. Sorry. I prefer shorter and smaller. I do not mind overweight at all, but she has to be shorter than I am. So a 6'-0 woman is not likely to get an email from me. Actually any girl above 5'-6 has to be pretty exceptional in her profile and everything I read about her to get an email from me. I do not automatically rule them out, but they have to be outstanding. It is my one shallowness when it comes to women.
Now ask me how many accounts have I hidden. I have no clue. Several thousand at least. Most because they are out of range even were I looking and they are not willing to relocate, others for the above reasons, some because their interests and mine are nowhere similar, and others because once I have sent an email I hide them because I will not accidently email someone twice. If I get no response they never hear from me a second time. If I get a response I keep them in my Read Mail folder until they stop responding and then we just slip off, two ships that have passed in the night.
Sometimes I hear from them again, sometimes not. Sometimes I keep them as good friends, sometimes I make enemies. In four years on Collarme I have met only three that could have gone somewhere... one would not wait until I could... one needed more help than I could provide and needed it immediately... and one I am getting to know now... perhaps this one will be my blessing.
Now, I have had my say, these things apply to Dominants I am sure as well. It is just I never see the profiles of most Dominants because I do not have my search set to look at their profiles. I only see those that email me and then I look at their profiles.
To those that have emailed me, I have always been impressed with their articulate and intelligence and have yet to have a Dominant email me that was not of par with my level. I am glad to have met each of you.
To many of the slaves and submissives that have emailed me as well, I feel the same about.
I must admit, I have emailed many in the past that I would not have emailed had I followed the rules above. Loneliness sometimes gets a bitter grip into your soul and you look where you know you should not. If I ever search again, and I pray I never have to, but if I ever do, I will NOT go back to that but follow my own standards from now on. |
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Seems like lately I have taken to answering a lot of my pet peeves here.
Yet here stands another.
Redundancy.
Whether it is by ignorance or because others have hounded the person and they are trying to clarify their search it still is WRONG to say a FEMALE Mistress, or a MALE Master.
A Mistress is female, plain and simple, just as a Master is male. Putting the gender there is redundant.
The same goes for the terms Dom, which is male, and Domme, which is female.
Over and over again I see people adding the gender to the titles when it is not necessary.
Now, if the reason is because they are getting emails from people that do NOT know the difference then right near the reply button is another little button that has the word "BLOCK" on it. Hit that, because the person responding to your profile that does not know the difference is one of a few things.
Too ignorant to be in the lifestyle.
Not truly of the lifestyle or they would know the difference.
Does not care what you put in your profile and is going to prey upon you anyway.
So just block them.
Stop misusing the English lauguage, and stop placing a gender in front of a word that has a gender in its very definition. It does nothing but propagate other people to follow the example of ignorance. |
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Perhaps it is the author in me. Perhaps it is that I am a four times English Major. Perhaps it is that I have sat around and watched the English language suffer one abuse after another and not said too much and yet there is one thing that is a common practice within the lifestyle that is absolutely absurd.
It is the practice of double initialling, A/all, E/everyone, U/us, W/we..
Do you TALK that way? When the slave is speaking to an audience that contains both Dominants and submissives does she stop and say Capital "W" lowercase "w" we wish to thank Capital "Y" lowercase "y" you Capital "A" lowercase "a" all for attending Capital "O" lowercase "o" our gathering.
She certainly does not. She speaks in normal English, so why does she type it improperly? Why does she make a mockery of the language we grew up with just to satisfy the over inflated ego of some jerk who got the idea that this would be a proper thing to do many years ago and initiated it? Who even remembers who started it?
It is improper English, and it is inappropriate. Just use proper English and have done with it. Yes, capitalize Master when it is a Title, but otherwise when it is just a word, it does not need to be capitalized. I am looking for a master. Is proper English. I am looking for my Master. Is a Title, and proper English.
Master SoandSo owns me, I will speak to no other masters, is proper English and does NOT show disrespect, and any that says otherwise has their thumbs stuck too far up their asses.
It is time we treat our language with the same respect we treat each other. English should be Mastered!!! |
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What type of slave do you mean when you say you are a slave?
Every time I read a woman's profile and she has in her profile that she is a submissive and then says she is a slave, or even both say she is a slave I wonder exactly what kind of slave is she. Does she truly even know the difference? Then she begins to list a long list of limits and I realize that no, she is not a slave at all.
She is a submissive with a heart that desires to be a slave but she will never take that step to truly know the freedom, trust and love that it takes to become a true slave.
Yes, there are many kinds of slaves as well. There are as many kinds of slaves as there are cultures in history and in the world. So even if you are a true slave, what kind of slave are you?
First let's start with the true definition.
A slave is a woman or man that has given up all rights to limits and safe words to the one that they call Master or Mistress. It is their Master or Mistress that sets their limits and allows the use of a safe word if any at all. The Master or Mistress does not even have to follow their own stricture on these, but a good one will.
That being said, if you truly have any limits then you are not a slave. I do not care what those limits are. If you have any then you are not a slave. This does not mean that you cannot have things that you can pray that your Master or Mistress will grant you, and you can search for a Master or Mistress that will grant you those limits, but you must realize, that it is their choice to do so, not your demand that they be there. If you demand it then you are a submissive.
Most Masters and Mistresses have a few that they themselves will not go past. Perhaps legality, morality, or health reasons, and those would be what you would seek. Just as you would seek a Master or Mistress that would want a slave of the type you wish to be. Yet again, you also must realize that those limits are within the Owners control and at any time they can be removed by your Owner. So trust must be there and once again, a good Owner will not break that trust.
Now, let's see what kind of slave you are.
All of the basic slaves are what is termed a "Complete and Total Slave" meaning you give all control to your Owner. However, there is one that is specifically referred to by this name.
The Complete and Total Slave:
The Complete and Total Slave is one that is any form of slave that their owner desires. They have no stipulations in their usage. If their Owner wants to be severe in their usage, so be it. If the Owner wants to be gentle, so be it. If the Owner wants to use them Sadistically, then as Master wishes, or if the Owner wants to allow others to use their slave, it is the Master's choice. Even if the Owner wants to treat the slave as a wife and love and like she is almost an equal except in the bedroom, that is his choice and the Complete and Total Slave accepts the Master's choice.
This kind of slave also will not choose their Master based on age or appearance or wealth but simply on skill, experience, intelligence and the ability to house the slave in a time frame that the slave needs to be housed. If the slave is willing to relocate she will not ask the Owner to pay one penny of her relocation, but will do so on her own, for it is her duty to go to her Master and prove herself worthy. Yet, if the Owner is a good Owner he will do all in his power to make the relocation as inexpensive as possible for her as well. Proving he is a good Master as well. Sometimes finances on one or the other cannot be, this should not be a barrier, if the need for both to be together is there then they will make it.
The Complete and Total Slave is a Slave for Life and will not leave under any circumstance unless released. She gives up the right to choose to leave unless the Master proves that he is not honoring his commitment to her, then and only then does she have the right to leave. (Yes, this does include him overstepping his bounds and going into an abusive situation. Abuse can and does exist in this lifestyle, but usually not by lifestylers but those pretending to be of the lifestyle, or those who have lost control of themselves).
Piece of Meat Slave.
The Piece of Meat slave is a slave that wants to be treats as nothing but a sex being or toy. She wants not to even be thought of as human anymore. Often living in cages, eating out of bowls, made to deficate on paper or litter boxes. She wants punishment to be severe if she fails in her duties as the Piece of Meat. She wants use by not only her Master but any and all her Master wants her to be used by. Many times she is even used for profit. She is his complete and total sexual being. She exist for nothing but to provide his sexual and physical pleasure even if that is to torture her as well. Often she is a masochist and seeks out a Sadist as her Master as well as an Owner that will not give her heart to her. She does not want love. She wants use. The Piece of Meat slave has the hardest life of all the slaves for many times she will have no form of entertainment at all and will loose all contact with the outside world except for her sexual usage. Some even are not allowed to talk. Use by animals while others watch is not uncommon.
The Pet Slave..
The Pet Slave spends most of her day in the character of an animal or mix of animals. She may be a cat, dog, or other animal or mixture of many, or a whole new animal but she often is not allowed to speak. Many times domestic chores are not a part of this slaves routine for what animal can be trained to clean house. Some are even taught/trained to use the bathroom outside. Eat and drink out of bowls, again the use of litter boxes is common, though some Masters do prefer the use of toilets.
Pet slaves are more for the pleasure of the Master and slave and are one of the forms of pleasure slave that is often restricted to the use of just the Master and rarely shared. For most animals are one person pets. If they are shared it is usually one act or deed, such as oral only, and even this may be limited to licking on any other save their Master, though I have heard of one case where the Pet slave was forbidden oral sex even upon her own master except in the form of licking for what animal sucks cock.
Pony Slave..
Since there are many sites that go into Pony Slaves I will not delve much on this one.
Treasure Slave..
A Treasure Slave, aka a Love Slave is a slave that is seeking to be the only or primary slave of a Master. She wants to be treasured for all that she is not just her body. She wants to be a companion, and have her mind, body, heart and soul be given to her Master and used by him. The Master of this slave often will inspire her and nurture her to be better than she is. This is often called the Perfect Bondage, One Slave, One Master.. but in a case like this, ALL things must be able to be met for the Master's needs. The slave must be aware that if there is even one thing she cannot provide to the Master that he may seek out a second slave and that though she may be a treasure to his heart there is something he must have. It may tear him apart that that one thing is not there, and it may be of no fault of her own. Perhaps medically. Perhaps she is wheel chair bound, or she is unable to orgasm because of lack of sensation due to paralysis, or some other tragedy or illness. Anything could cause this to make this union not the Perfect Bondage that even the Master desires.. It does not mean she is not his treasure.
Domestic Slave..
There are some slaves that do not want sex as part of their slavery. They will accept it, but it is not their primary focus. Their primary focus is that they want to be the maid, the housekeeper, the one that cleans the house and does the dirty work. They are often a second slave in a household because since sex is not their primary reason for being a slave it often does not satisfy them and makes it less enjoyable for the Master as well. They do seek punishment if their tasks are not done on time and often they will fail to get them done on time on purpose because that discipline is a major part of their needs.
Ceremonial Slave..
These slaves are very much into ritual. Kneeling, bowing, kissing the Master's feet, and more. Begging for every act and deed. The slaves that come out of Gor as well as those that come from what is called Old Guard (Though Old Guard is based on a Lie, and Gor is based on a fictitious set of Books) need this ceremony, but many others desire it as well. Many Masters also enjoy much of the ceremony in their lifes, from the ritualistic collaring and taking of their slaves to ritualistic punishments and so on. Many will even demand a girl beg to cum and if permission is not given she cannot. It is all part of a ritual. Many Masters will do a ceremonial inspection of their slave when they first meet their slave and other ceremonies will be upheld throughout their time together, such as a daily dairy (a daily blowjob). Some even require this first thing and last thing of the day.
My favorite is the daily swat, a girl gets one swat each cheek of her ass before going to bed each night, just to remind her she is owned.
Daughter Slave..
This has nothing to do with age-play. Just like a Daddy/Dom does not. This slave is seeking a Master that has the qualities of a Daddy/Dom but wants a deeper commitment. The Master wants all of the girl, he wants her to be his slave and yet still he treats her with the love, and gentleness of a Daddy/Dom unless he has to be strict and harsh and he is not waivering in his discipline when it is due. He owns her completely, and will cuddle and read to her, and yet will demand of her as he would any slave.
Baby Slave..
This is age play and truth is on this one there is no slavery here. For someone who tries to call this slavery is fooling themselves. They are demanding too much from the Master for it to be slavery. A Master should never have to be a caregiver unless Medical reasons require it. When a slave requires it as part of the lifestyle it is truly not even a Dom/submission lifestyle but simply a kink, Top/Bottom.. because there is too much demanded. Caregiving is a huge demand and has no place in a Master/slave relationship unless medicinally required and not as lifestyle play.
Harem Slave..
A Harem Slave is a slave that wants to serve her Master with at least one other sister but some wish to with many sisters. They do not have to be bisexual. There are some Harem slaves that never touch each other sexually but both focus on the Master, there are others that are highly active together and the polyamory relationship forms a circle where all seem to love each other. The danger in this is that there are times when the slaves will love each other more than they do the Master. Sometimes to the point of deciding that the Master is not necessary anymore. It is a risk that a Master that chooses a Harem style with bisexual slaves takes.
Other Masters prefer that their girls do not touch each other without their permission or only when they are present to help prevent that. Or Not to touch at all except as necessary to please him. Even if bisexual, that is the decision of the Master and strict punishment can be delivered if the command is broken. Slaves that DEMAND that they be part of this kind of relationship are truly not slaves, for no slave can DEMAND anything, they can request it, or seek it, but if they DEMAND it, then they are going beyond their rights as a slave. A Master that chooses a girl that has DEMANDED to be in this kind of relationship is begging for trouble because he has chosen someone that has TOPPED him from the very moment he chose her.
Birthing Slaves..
Birthing Slaves have as their primary purpose to produce children for the Master that has chosen them. Often a Birthing slave will come into an existing Master and slave relationship where the existing slave is unable to bear children. She may give birth to one child and then seek another home or she may stay on and produce more children and raise them as a co-mother with the slave of the Master. Yet, their true joy of being a slave is in the giving of birth to the child that was sired within them. They feel inside that this is their worth. A good Master will often try to help them see they have more value, but even that is something that is difficult to do for this is very deeply ingrained.
Sugar Slaves..
These are the ones that irritate me the most. For these also are not TRUE slaves at all. They are little more than cheap immitations of the worlds oldest profession for women. To demand gifts or payment to be a slave is absurd and shows that they have no respect for the lifestyle and are here for one reason and one reason alone.
These kind of slaves truly need a weathy and strong Master to make them a bargain, a special contract. A one year contract. One that when they arrive they are stripped of all their finery, and treated like a true slave for that year. During that year that Master should do everything in his power to make her break the contract or to break her will and make her truly submit to him forever. If he fails to do either then at the end of the year she gets her items back and whatever stipend they had agreed upon, but he failed.
I would not fail.
There are many other kinds of slaves than the ones mentioned here. All these are consentual, I will not ever support non-consentual slavery in any form. Any and all of these can be modified or combined, mixed and blended to form the kind of slave you are or you seek. Yet when it comes down to it still the final and major component is that a true slave gives herself or hisself to their Owner completely.
Limits given to a slave should be the decision of the Master and not the demand of the slave, and as such, I do believe that all Masters have certain things that they will refuse to do for one reason or another. Perhaps because of personal experience, or knowledge of a friend or close acquaintance having suffered due to an act being performed. Perhaps they have witnessed the after effects of some of the acts done upon another and just refuse to allow those to be done to someone they own. The Master too must choose his slave, and a slave that NEEDS certain things to feel complete may not be the best choice if the Maser cannot provide those certain things because of issues he has with those items.
I choose to give to my slaves certain limits because I abhor these things myself. A slave that talks to me will know what they are. If these are things that a slave wants to experience then they are not a slave I want.
I know of several slaves that have come to me saying that they need scat in their lives. That toilet training is what makes them truly feel like a slave. However, one of my best friends contracted hepatitis while working as a Janitor and coming in contact with Feces in a basement. It was a random event, but still plays upon my mind. He died. He was a dear and close friend and due to this I could never place a girl of mine into that kind of harm, nor myself. The idea of touching or kissing her after such an act is abhorrent to me. Now to others I do not judge, but for me and mine it is not going to be. This is one limit I will demand that a slave of mine have and if she cannot abide by it, or needs that then she is not a slave I will choose. There will be no scat or excrement use for my slave at all, ever.
Due to passing of other potential illnesses and the potential for severe burns from hydrochloric acid. No slave of mine will ever be subject to rainbow showers.
Due to having known too many that have suffered abuse, and not wanting to perpetuate it, not only for morality issues, and legality issues, but due to personal issues revolving around abuse myself. No slave of mine will ever be subject to any sexual act dealing with someone or something that by law is unable to consent to a sexual act.
I have many others I will not do, but only my slave will know what they are. These are ones I feel strongly that ALL those within the lifestyle should abide by, but I am not you, and it is not my right to judge what you do. Just, do not inform me if you do these things.
Robert, The Arranger of Clouds, The Crafter of Words, The Weaver of Beads, The Maker of the Storm |
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From the moment I was born I was different
Lightning struck the hospital when the doctor struck me.
How dare he? I looked at him, I cried in anger not pain.
The generator blew, the room plunged into darkness.
Only a moment before the backup kicked in.
From the moment I was born I was different.
I walked before most, I spoke before most, I read before any my age.
When other boys looked at girls in disgust,
I looked upon them as mine.
I wrote of love and romance when most boys played cowboys and indians.
I read of slaves and harems when most read of dinosaurs and flying saucers.
From the moment I was born I was different.
I also saw things others did not.
I could look at one girl and tell she would not be right.
At another and see she would serve well.
I could see a submissive nature in a girl before I knew what submission was.
And I had others following me of all ages, male and female.
From the moment I was born, I was DOMINANT.
When I started to work for others it cause problems,
I would see something that needed changed and talk about it,
Often they would say, follow the standard practices,
What fools I would say to myself and do it the better way.
Yes, I lost many a jobs because of this, but my way they implemented.
Because I knew what I was doing, I was Dominant.
It was more than being dominant that made me different.
I could see things clearly that others could not.
Formulas, Ideas, Plans, Projects, math and chemicals were easy to me
They flowed like water into my mind and filled my dreams
Many hated me because it came so easily that I sailed through school
Intelligence was one gift I had as well as being Dominant.
Yet it was even more than that that filled my head
I could feel the emotions of others just by looking at them
I could sense their pain, their joys, their triumphs, or loss
I could tell what was on their minds even before they spoke
Compassion was also a gift I had in abundance
Empathy filled me and made me a better Dominant
Then came my greatest gift that the Creator bestowed
More than one has commented upon my way with words
To be able to make someone feel exactly what I am imagining
Or to sense the depth of emotion I am driving for them to feel
A professor once called me a master wordsmith
An author I am, a great gift for a Dominant.
No, I am not sitting here bragging or boasting about myself,
I care not what others think or how they feel about me
For with the gifts sorrow and tragedy has come along
And my life has been one nightmare after another endlessly
I feel everyones' pain and suffering deeply so,
And alone I am as a Dominant.
But no more alone will I soon remain
For a joy has come to soothe my heart.
She has come to take away my bitter sting.
And help to ease the torment of years scars
Her love has touched me like no other has
And now I truly feel like I am a Dominant. |
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Over and over again I read a profile of a submissive or slave that says that she is looking for an intelligent man. One that is articulate and creative and yet in her profile she makes one spelling mistake after another.
First she uses the VERB dominate instead of the NOUN dominant that she is seeking.
Then she will use your in place of the contraction you're for "you are" and think that that is okay.
Or she will use the letter "u" for "you" or the number "4" for "for" and think that an intelligent and articulate dominant is going to accept laziness and l33t speak from his girl.
Or there will just be outright horrible misspellings of words that it looks like she did not even try to take the time to type them correctly or she was drunk when she typed her profile.
I look for intelligence in someone I speak to, whether it is a serious relationship or as a friend, and if I see a profile like that I will pass them by. If I get a message like that I will more than likely reply politely but there will be no interest in continuing the conversation.
If you cannot take the time to use proper grammar and English when speaking to me and that is your primary language I would prefer to not hear from you. I do make exceptions for those who do not use English as their primary language becuase it is a complicated tongue if you were not raised in it.
And for the submissive who used the word witch in her profile. A witch is a person, you wanted to use the word "which" please try to understand the difference. |
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For those who may be interested.
I have 10 copies of my erotic BDSM romance novel
Toy’s Story:
Acquisition of a Sex Toy:
Book #1 of the Master’s Circle
It is a tale of an online Master and slave relationship that becomes real-time but not exactly as the fantasy was dreamed.
That I can autograph and ship out.
Contact me.
Here is the blurb, and you can read excerpts by reading my forum posts.
Even over the internet passions can ignite but when Doreen finds the fires within her burning she also finds that fear of the consequences of those fires terrifies hers so she tries to flee from them. However there are some things you can not run from and a fantasy that is part of your very soul is one of them. Soon she finds it impossible to keep from contacting the man that she had fled.
David thinks she was playing him for a fool, yet when the new emails begin he finds he is transfixed by her every word. Slowly the emails convince him that she is sincere and that what she truly wants is a life that most people only find in their deepest and darkest fantasies.
Then the email comes that forces his decision. He decides to fulfill her dreams completely, and to do so even beyond her wildest expectations. But when fantasy and reality collide both get lost in a tangled web. |
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A SLAVE’S OATH TO HERSELF
As a slave I lay at the feet of my Master all my fears, my hopes, my dreams, and my aspirations.
I give to him my complete trust and faith that he will preserve my life and my body and protect it for his use as best he sees fit.
Before I surrendered all to him I will discussed with him those things that frighten me and that I wish that my body be spared now I will leave it in his hands to decide whether to spare me these things or not, and trust in him that if he wishes to not spare me these things that he will take his time and patience to ease me into them so that I am not torn in my spirit and faith in him.
I surrender all that I am to him in my heart, body, spirit, mind and soul for him to nurture and nourish and trust that he will protect and guide me to be the best I can be. That he will be swift and strict yet fair in his discipline of me, and that he will keep me forever as his. My life is in his hands.
A MASTER’S OATH TO HIMSELF
As a Master I shall listen to my slave and her needs. I shall hear her cries and her words and heed when those tears are tears that tell me that I need to slow down or ease my ways with her. I shall be her friend and her mentor, her guide and her lover.
I shall protect her in all things that I do so that her body shall be preserved for my use and I will mould and shape her into perfection for me in my eyes to make her that gem that sparkles before any man.
Those things that I have sworn to her I will abide by for they are my oath of my word and I shall not break a trust. If I swear to give her limits they shall remain, if I say her limits are for now, then those that I decide to exercise I shall do so with patience and slowly ease her into them as to not frighten or harm her and to make certain that she enjoys or appreciates or at least understands the experience to its fullest.
She is not to be my experiment. If I do not know how to do something that intrigues her or I then I shall research it out to the fullest of my ability, attending demonstrations when possible, and when possible inflicting it upon myself before upon her, for she is to be the one to be unharmed.
I will never punish her in anger, for that is abuse. I shall never punish her when I am in an altered state by alcohol or drugs for again that is abuse.
In all ways I shall keep abuse outside of the relationship, and those things that are considered illegal by age of minority or consent shall remain outside of the relationship.
If I become an alcoholic or a drug addict I will release her from her oath to me, though she may stay of her own will if she chooses, for I am no longer able to be the master of a slave when a chemical addiction is my Master.
In all ways I shall do all to maintain my trust to her, my word shall be law. If I say something will be done it will be even if I regret my words later, as long as those words do not violate any of the other oaths I have made in which case the first oath must hold true.
I will always remember that her surrender to me is the greatest honor that anyone can ever bestow upon another and in so doing I will treasure that honor in my heart where she will remain for the rest of her life or her contract. |
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A note to other members..
If a profile says they are from the USA or United States of America.. more than likely they are not.
And Scammers.. get real.. asking for money within 24 hours, or even worse within 10 minutes of chatting is a sure sign that you are scamming someone. I do not care if we are just friends or if you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen you are not getting a penny from me before we meet. If I send you anything it will be in the form of something that is non-refundable. |
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You are sitting down and beginning to make a profile entry or a journal entry.
This is what people are going to see of you.
This is the impression they are going to get of you.
Should you not use proper spelling and grammar? Should you be lazy and show your ignorance of the English language to those that might stop and look upon you.
Especially if you are not going to include a photo, this is the first impression you are making, do you not want it to impress the one that may be talking to you soon. Or if you are trying to tell them to stay away to at least be a proud representation of your owner or or yourself.
At the very least once you have typed it, if you know you have trouble with spelling you should take the time to copy and paste it into a program that has a spell checker installed so that it can correct your spelling if not your grammar as well.
If you do not do this, then when someone does comment on your poor or atrocious spelling, it is not your place to criticize them for their showing you your fault, you are the one in error. Your place is to say, thank you for showing me I have made a mistake, I will correct it and then do so.
The English language has suffered enough abuse from the outside without those of us within make improper use of it.
So, take the time to use it properly.
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Time after time I read in a girl's journal or profile how someone in email had dared to command her in their first contact.
That they tried to order them to come to them and submit.
They tried to tell they that they were their Master.
The arrogance of these self-proclaimed Masters is appalling.
Yes, all Masters have some arrogance, but a true Master also is a master of self-control and patience. You have no claim upon the girl you are contacting, not within your first email. Perhaps never.
You have no right to make a command, even if she is a submissive or slave. She has NOT submitted to you or surrendered her rights to you.
For you to do that gives every other true Master an easier time at showing their real nature. We just show our patience, and that we will not issue a command.
But I look at these girl's journals and I wish there were some way that they could BRAND these losers so that other girls would not suffer at the hands of these wannabees and players.
The ideal behind collarme is a great one, unfortunately it also allows for a cultivating ground for the scum.. not just upon the dominant side.. please do not mistake that it i only one sided. There are just as many players and wannabees within the ranks of the submissives as well.
#1. Rule of someone who is true and is not going to play another. When you begin talking to someone you have not yet made a commitment. It is okay to continue talking to others, however, IF for some reason you choose to no longer talk to someone, let them know the reason, no matter what that reason is. Whether you have found someone else, or they no longer fit what you are looking for, or a red flag was flown, tell them, be respectful, even to a player.
#2. Once you find someone that does pique your interest enough to want to talk seriously, tell everyone else you are talking to and focus primarily on that one. You can keep the other lines open, but focus on the one. You need to find if there is a connection, and playing the board does not check that connection, it weakens the odds.
#3. Once you know there is a connection, DON'T keep an active profile. Your friends can contact you if they have you on their favorites, or give them another means of contact. Or at the very least set your Bulk to take ALL male from those that would try to take you away from the one you are connected to. Do not even look at it. Do not respond, and do not worry if they think you are something bad. You have found your one, that is the most important thing in the world. One email from one person trying to lure you away from your one can get back to your one and ruin everything for you. Don't risk it.
#4. Hold onto your one with all you have. If you are a slave, remember he sets the limits, let him set them. If you do not want a poly relationship, tell him, but remember it is his choice, if he loves you strongly enough he will respect that, but perhaps he may also feel it is a limit you need to be pushed upon because he does love you. There are different ways to view the same scenario. Don't run because of one thing, you may lose the best thing in your life, however, if there are too many things then beg your release. Don't stay where you cannot stay either. |
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Some little rude, vain and shallow, and certainly not a very submissive or slave like attitude.
Her comment paraphased.. "Age and height are not a problem, but for a man that cannot control his weight how can you expect to contol me?"
First of all, has she ever heard of the term medical injury, or biological malfunction. There are many people that are overweight that it is not a matter of self-control at all.
Thyroid issues, auto-accidents, etc.
Mine is the result of an auto accident.
In my early life my weight was a problem centered around depression. However, I had lost 255 pounds without any help from anyone. Shear willpower, and on my own. No diet plan but my own, no exercise plan, but my own, and hard work. I went from 475 to 220. Then I was in an auto-accident that has caused permanent nerve damage. I have a non-stop headache. I can do very little when it comes to bodily exertion. I can, but the pain is intense. There are certain things that can be done afterwards to relief that pain, but unfortunately, there is no partner to apply the techniques. So, exercise is out.
Diet? Well, how many of you can go for four days without food and drink except water? How many of you can go without any fried food? No soda, no sweets, no sugars, no starches, and fasting once every 5 days for 4 rotations and then doing the 4 day fasting.. Now do that cycle.. not once.. but 7 times in a row..
I lost 150 pounds on that.. How many of you can do it.. That is pure will power.. Why am I heavy? Because the doctor ordered me to stop. I have only gained back 25 pounds of that in 3 years, and I eat ONE meal a day.. and the other two are a single cup of yogurt..
That one meal is healthy.. No.. my problem is medical.. Not a lack of control..
So next time, lil girl.. before you judge somebody as unfit and unable to control themselves you had better check out the rest of their history. Someone that can write a novel of 189,000 words is not likely to be someone that lacks control.
Should I judge you on your one statement, by that one statement you are not fit to be a submissive or slave because you judge before you think? I know you are not fit to be mine, maybe someone else will give you a chance, but I see a lot of punishments in your future as they train you to learn respect. |
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My Novel has been released and is receiving high marks in reveiws... I had to remove the links.. sorry.. but they are available in the message boards or you can email me.
Announcing the E-Book Release as of May 8th 2006 and
Paperback Release as of June 28th 2006
Toy’s Story
Acquisition of a Sex Toy
Even over the internet passions can ignite but when Doreen finds the fires within her burning she also finds that fear of the consequences of those fires terrifies hers so she tries to flee from them. However there are some things you can not run from and a fantasy that is part of your very soul is one of them. Soon she finds it impossible to keep from contacting the man that she had fled.
David thinks she was playing him for a fool, yet when the new emails begin he finds he is transfixed by her every word. Slowly the emails convince him that she is sincere and that what she truly wants is a life that most people only find in their deepest and darkest fantasies.
Then the email comes that forces his decision. He decides to fulfill her dreams completely, and to do so even beyond her wildest expectations. But when fantasy and reality collide both get lost in a tangled web.
“Robert Cloud is a true wordsmith” from a professor of his at AI University
“This is the Romantic Novel that Romance Novelist wish they had the guts to write”
By Laurie Sanders, Publisher of BVS
"Compelling and emotional, Robert Cloud has written a story that will dig into the depths of the emotions and settle deep into the heart. No punches are pulled in this gritty, tough story and the characters are bared on each and every level of existence." Valerie, reviewer at Love Romances website
“And oooooooooooo.......I've GOT to tell you!!! When Cloud's book is out?? WOW...grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat here. I've had the opportunity to read some of it and ohhhh yeah...glad the a/c has been running. Cloud is a terrific writer and I know you will enjoy Toy's story when it hits the net...and the stands.” By Lee Rush, author of “Bound by Fate”
Read an excerpt at Black Velvet Seductions Website.
Available in eBook at Black Velvet Seductions website.
Available in paperback at the above locations and soon at Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites.
(FREE Shipping on books ordered from Black Velvet Seductions Website. You can earn free books as well)
Booksellers can order from the publisher or Ingram’s Distributors. |
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| Age: 28 |
| Anderson,
North Carolina |
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