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| Online to connect with like minded kinksters after a 8 year hiatus. I'm interested in meeting people for casual events of a vanilla sort; partners in crime to stir up trouble at Bagg or The Citadel, if things develop nicely I'm open to deeper commitments. I'm very easy going and willing to explore lots of adventures. Ideally I would like to connect with a friend who is an exhibisionist, likes fetish fashion, and is interested in high protocol play.
This doesn't mean I'm a player or just a part time weekend warrior. I think the thing that callarme provides is an easy way to sort out people such that you know that if you get into something that has more depth at least the fundamental alignment of your basic orientation is sorted out. This doesn't excuse us from the inevitable hard work of learning how to relate and become friends and partners and lovers.
I've chosen my handle not because it is my name but because it reminds me of a wonderful story that I think is very rich and deep. The name is cribbed from another magnificently kinky 20th century IRL relationship. Portions of this inspiring biography are posted here: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/01/Catherine-robbe-grillet-contract-prostitution. It is a wonderful read.
I love this article for many reasons, not the least of which is that it shows that the classifications which we often apply to ourselves are so fluid. The story of Beverly is particularly inspiring and shows that the notion of the switch is not a fixed concept any more so than is the notion of a dominant or submissive. Those of us for this is an orientation, it is rather like having a way of looking at the world. Are the relative positions between two partners in this orientation relative or absolute? This I do not know entirely though, my experience suggests, that there is a great fluidity which is often ignored and ofren doesn't show up with any particular subtlety in the more common postings that are presented on collarme.com.
Another aspect that I truly appreciate about this particular essay is that it describes the long term lifetime love between two seemingly incongruous personalities/orientations with respect of the categories that we often use. Imagine a female heterosexual submissive turning into a dominant who ends up having a long time life partner who is a heterosexual dominant, whom herself is submissive to this mistress only and who dominates others in the same circle ( closed and curated ) within which they move.
Another aspect i love about this particular essay, is how these women, as a group, with their collective stable, manage to create an environment that is committed, sensually satisfying, theatrically presented and spiritually fulfilling into late years of life.
That seems a pretty good definition of an LTR to me!
Isn't this what many of us were looking for?
In the meantime we are not excused from the effort of doing the leg work that is required to establish the grounds for which a full-time long-term relationship can actually be sustained. In the meantime, doesn't it make a great deal of sense to be open to friendship, exploration, casual acquaintance and other experiences that will help us establish ourselves more broadly in the community. Always with the goal of finding what we truly look for.
These remarks are not meant to imply any judgment about how people get on site or what they're looking for, nor how to go about it. This is just one view on a possible future. There are lots of avenues, and I think it's wonderful that we at least can find a kink community into which we can try to integrate ourselveves.
I've been in the scene for over twenty years. I've got a pretty a pretty good nose for the fakers the players and the first-timers.
I have experienced both sides of the fence, both as a sub and as a dom. I've had dominants who was been mono/lifestyle and went prodomme/lifestyle/poly while I was under her care. I've had subs who have subsequently gone and become collared by other men.
I am very open, nonjudgmental, easy going to hang out with. I like having fun. And I enjoy people that are open and willing to explore adventures. See the foregoing for my broader views but I'm interested ultimately in something that involves a deeper connection.
Time will tell and I'm not impatient or shy.
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