One constant I have noticed through my limited contact with the members of this site is that my lack of experience is such a negative.

We all have to start somewhere. I recall a saying from a wise pointy-eared fellow I once heard and would like to twist it around to suit..

"You must unlearn what you have learned in your journey to become better suited to that someone special". I think it was Yoda who said that. ;)

As my profile states I am a 51 year old male. In my younger days I was a body builder and quite the athlete. I still like to keep in shape now but I don't go to the extreme like I used to. I am masculine and straight. I have also been married a couple of times but failed. I know now why. I was looking in the wrong places for the wrong goal.

I still like to be active and I play for a local rugby team. I work out in the gym and I ride my bike as often as I can find the time. In fact that is what I do on my job during the warm months.

I don’t watch a lot of TV but I am a video game addict. That’s about all I can think of to say about me as I am not very good with self descriptions. That is why I am planning to upload a few more pictures of me in my daily life.

As for my long term goal, that’s hard to describe. My desire to enter this lifestyle stems more from a spiritual standpoint than from a sexual one. Sure, I’m human and in my younger days the sexual aspect of this lifestyle may have had a higher standing. But not now. I need growth in spirit and in character.

I don’t regret my life so far but I do wish some things could have been different as I think most anyone my age does. My failed relationships are one. But now I know, and I think I have always known, that I was taking the wrong role in those failed relationships. I reflect on my past feelings and know that the women I have always respected most in my life were the ones who held a position of authority over me.

As for more detail about what I hope for in the long term, I so want to give everything of me to a woman who will be willing to give something back. That would be discipline and growth. I need another woman in a position of authority over me that I can respect. For that I will give her all I have.

There is also a need for very strict discipline in my heart I know I will need. I am not a masochist in any sense of the word. But I know it may take a sadist to get my mind where I hope to one day be. That is why I am going for the slave position. That will be the best route to take in order for my own selfish needs to be pushed aside and for my entire self to be sacrificed for my better good.

So I hope to one day find that person. It may not be the one who I will spend my life with. In fact, at the start I hope to find someone who doesn’t want me for anything but one who fulfills her physical desires and needs and nothing on the romantic aspect. A one or two year contract with such a person is most likely what I will seek when the time comes.

So that is my long term goal. But when I embark on that journey I will need to leave everything in my present life behind me. That is why it will take me a while. My sense of responsibility mandates it. I also have to work on getting a business I can operate on the internet or by mail and one that I can move with me. I don’t plan on being a houseboy who is a financial burden to anyone. I will pay my own way as I always have whether I stay in the house of my future owner or rent quarters nearby.

That’s about all I can think of in describing myself and my feelings. As I said, I am not very good as self descriptions. Pictures tell me about me than I can put forth in words I think. One pic is of me last summer enroute to play in a rugby game.

I also have one of me a couple of years ago at a Halloween party. I love history, and collecting sword and other replicas of ancient weapons, and costume parties also. Another is of me in my garden taken by a former girlfriend. That’s all I have left of her. All I want left of her. From here on I plan to grow.