Just to be clear: Not every aspect of a slave's desires needs to be compatible with every aspect of a potential owner's desire. What you should be looking for, as a slave, is someone who is compatible in the big things, such as letting you have your reasonable hard limits and being able to control and discipline you in a way that will actually make you feel owned. The rest - sex play, pain play, etc. - is something that can and should be compromised on, and that compromise might be that you are lent out to people who are willing to use you in certain ways that your potential owner is not interested in, or that you learn to do without them most of the time but might receive them as a reward if you give very good service for a specified amount of time.

IE: Mistress does not really wish to shove a butt plug up your wazoo, kick you in the ribs, drag you by your hair into the bathroom and piss down your throat, as it is not even remotely a turn on to her and she thinks it's kind of gross; but you feel you really need this to be a happy little slave boy. So, she says that you may earn each little aspect of it, by building her a decent living room sofa,  making her an excellent dinner for a part of five; learning how to properly wax her legs and then doing so; and, planting her a garden. Then, you do those things, to the best of your ability and she, being gracious and a woman of her word, rewards you for them by sticking things up your butt and hurting you and humiliating you in ways you enjoy, which are now definitely a reward and not just play, because you earned them and they are a gift, because she wants to give them to you or she wouldn't have made the deal, and, yet, she still has the ultimate choice as to whether she will engage in such activities, to begin with or ever again, so you are not topping from the bottom.

Or, perhaps she would say that she is definitely not going to do some of those things, but, you may earn the others and the rest you will have to go find someone else to do. 

Stop looking, in fear, for the absolutely perfect situation. None exists. Take good enough and run with it. Good enough for now, with potential to be good enough for a ways down the road. They might change, you might change, and this may not be a life long affair. Is it better to sit, alone, and dream of being owned by perfection that does not exist, or to be owned and gain experience, while learning who you are and what you really want? Think about it.

Dear Ass Bunnies A/all:

When you seek people out to abuse, humiliate, degrade, or sexually use you, this is not you providing service to them. It is them providing service to you or, possibly, both of you playing together.

When you seek to trade that sort of activity for money, that is not service or play. it is attempting to force a dominant person into being your whore.

When you are willing to accept pain, humiliation, or sexual conduct from a person that you have an established relationship with, or to be punished for refusing to accept it, because you want to please them, this is part of serving as a slave. It is not, however, what slavery is about or the activities on which such a relationship should be based.

I don't care if you think I am beautiful or gorgeous, because I am not here to trick you with my looks (or someone else's), nor am I seeking your sexual attention.

I want SERVICE, in a way that benefits us both and hopefully will benefit others, too. End of story!

No, that is not a photo of me. If you are not offended by it, though, it is good to know. If you absolutely have to have it, I have no use for you, because, I am working on getting my body and life in better shape.

Was written to me: im looking to be tied down where i can not move then to have my pants pulled down and used as a ash tray.

My response:I don't inflict that sort of damage on people. Tied down and used as a table for a party and beaten if you spilled something, maybe!

Wrote this to a slave boy. Sharing it with you, in hopes it will help you understand if you should write to me or no:

The thing is, I want a normal life, with slave. When I say that to people, they think I mean I just want to be bossy and use a guy's money, or only be kinky in the bedroom; or, they think I mean that I want to force men to run around naked all the time, degrade them, and make their life a living hell and that is "normal". But, I don't mean either thing. I mean a normal life, with slave. There are plenty of examples of it in literature and movies, based on historical data, for people to learn by, but, for some reason, they do not. They learn all the abnormal Caligula slashing people up, feeding slaves to dogs, extremely abusive, kidnapping people and forcing them into the sex trade part of history but that is not what slavery was about, most of the time, Those were the aberrant bits that made people so disgusted that most of the world gave up slavery!

Slaves are normal human beings, who happen to be forced into a job; or who willingly go into the job out of necessity; or, who are naturally predisposed to the lifestyle of a slave. And, if they are more than that - pain or sexual sluts, etc. - that is related to their moral state and desires, and the moral state and desires of their owners. 

It's frustrating talking to slaves who think that their potential owner has to cater to their whims; but, it's equally frustrating talking to the ones who think they have no right to their own feelings and thoughts. I believe it's true, mind you, up to a certain point- where there is no moral dilemma, for instance - but, I don't believe slaves have no right to say no. I believe they can say no and I would respect them for saying no to something that was against their religious beliefs, for instance. I might punish them for it, if it was something I really felt I needed, though, and felt should not be against their moral beliefs. Can't think of a good example of that, just now, but, it could conceivably come up.

That's what so many do not get. I was a slave. I said no a lot, and if I had a darned good reason, I probably wouldn't get punished. Every time I did it, though, I knew I had the right and I knew that I risked being punished for it. And, I knew that even if I did have a good excuse, I could get punished for it, just because they would be disappointed and want someone to take their frustration out on.

That's part of the normal life, with slave. It's not all agreement, or all punishment, it's just regular life where people cook and clean and eat and go to work and watch movies and all that, and sometimes have a party or spend some time in some mutually enjoyed physical activity or .. or whatever .. except that one person is definitely a slave and one person definitely is in charge. It's very comfortable, sweet and relaxing, most of the time; with an undercurrent of satisfaction and excitement. Like love, or friendship, but, not just exactly those. Sort of like parent-child relations, too; especially in the way of it being very important to both and it not being degrading that one is above the other and with only one doling out the rules and punishments and the other being subject to their whims of where to live, how to dress, etc.