Safe, sane, clean, and consensual. These are the most important things regarding BDSM in the bedroom. This means you should always know what's too much, you should never so something unless you know how to do it, all your toys should be kept in prestine conidtion, and everything should be discussed. 
  Yesterday, I was lightly suggesting setting up a scene with a submissive girl who was relativly new to BDSM. She said "Maybe next time I get drunk at a party...". This is not an option for me, because I don't scene if either party is intoxicated. So, I told her that wasn't such a good idea, to which she said things like "I can take care of myself" and "You don't know anything about me, who are you to give me advice?" (which sounded familiar to someone who is the very reason I am so safety concious).
  Like I told her, there is a differance between masochism and self destruction. She is headed down one hell of a path, I'm honestly quite worried. I don't know what she's been through in the past, but that doesn't mean she's invincable. Yet, because I lectured her on safety, she is refusing to speak to me. Now, I can deal with losing a friend, but I do hope that she doesn't get involved with some of the more unsavory charecters that can float around here. I'm sure she can take care of herself, but we're all dumb sometimes, and really it only takes one stupid moment, and you can really get yourself involved in some things that can be quite mortifying. But, what can be done? It's like watching a child play with a loaded gun, except these people aren't children. I can't say "Where are your parents?"  I just hope she gets lucky.

  So, I've put allot of thought into it, and I think I finally understand what sort of submissive you are, so I'm going to run what I think I know by you, and you can correct me wherever I may be wrong. What you wan't in a Master or Dom is like a combination of Platos guardians and philosophers, however instead of being the rulers (not exactly rulers, it's a complicated concept as I grasp it, I'll delve more into it later), protectors, mediators, troubleshooters, and caretakers of a city or civilization, you want this as personal attention towards you. You want to serve them because you love, respect, and care about them, because you want to please them, and because you know that always no matter what they are working towards your best interest. At first I didn't see it this way, but in a sort it is a partnership, they do everything in their power to guide you in the right direction, and you serve them because you understand this, because it makes you happy to know you have pleased, and because you feel it is the best order of things. Perhaps a better word than ruler for a Master as you define it is leader. A ruler looks after his own self interest, a leader looks after the interest of his servant, submissive, soldiers, or citizens, along with his own well being. You may even define a Master as one who puts his servents  before himself, and the servant does the same, each striving to better help the other, in their own appropriate way. You want someone to hold onto when you're afraid, lift you when you've fallen, protect you when others would visit violence upon you, and guide you when you lose your way. I understand now that it isn't a sex thing, it's a way of life. This is what you expect out of your better half, this is what you want when you think of someone you can turn to, a guardian, a leader, and a lover.

A few more points: I do not want to own a slave. I want my submissives to take pride in who they are. If those who kneel before me do not have pride and self confidence, what does that make me look like. A submissive should be proud to serve. If you are of naturaly low confidance, it is understood, many dominants train women to be this way. Should I take someone into my care, they will be trained to bow with pride, to serve with pride, and to realize the woman they are. If a dominant can only gain the respect of those who do not respect themselves, or must make someone feel worthless and so low that they will die without the dominant, than it is no longer respect, it is fear. Machevelli stated the wise ruler makes his subjects love him, but the tyrant makes his subjects fear him. If it is a tyrant you seek, there are plenty of "dominants" on this website alone that will be happy to find you. If you want someone to show you what you are worth, to keep you in your place and also bring you to a platform of dignity and self-respect, then you are what I one day hope to come across.

A thanks to FragmententedSub for pointing out an error in my wording.