|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| There are a few things that people need to know about me: I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm submissive, and I'm a top.
Other things of note include but are not limited to: ;-)
1. The last D/s relationship I was in, over two years ago, in a word, sucked. He wasn't willing to learn and grow. So, while I want to have that in my life again, I'm extremely cautious at this point.
2. I am happily married and have been for 17 years. My husband knows about my interest in this lifestyle and is supportive, though not interested in it himself, hence I'm up for travel, but not relocation.;
3. I have a long term girlfriend (9 years) who supports my interest as well as being a dominant herself. We often cotop together.
4. I'm not interested in a one night stand, nor just in kinky sex.
5. I'm not sure what I want for a relationship righ t now, other than meeting people and getting back into the groove of things.
6. I am very cautious!!! I take my fun very seriously, so it'll take a while for us to meet, and it may take a while for me to decide to write back. I'm very cautious!!! I also tend to only respond to emails on the weekend, so there may be a lag in response. I'm just currently very busy in my real life/job.
7. If you can't spell or write a coherent sentence in standard English, please don't bother to contact me. I won't write back. I feel we all deserve the respect of decent correspondence.
I enjoy many types of play both as top and bottom (incidentally, I use top and bottom as generic terms for M/s, D/s, D/lg, etc.), though, at present, I'm far more interested in finding someone with whom I can connect with as a bottom. I have a couple of really wonderful play partners that I do horribly good things to.
What am I like as a submissive?
Hmm, I'm not a brat, though I can be mischevious. I need to feel as though I'm being of use to my partner. I need to feel wanted and desired. Sometimes I can be somewhat of a little girl. Also, I want my partner to appreciate my intelligence and worth, and support my love of my partners.
I need my partner to be willing to learn and grow with me. No one knows everything, and those that think they do are quite boring. Do I sound bossy? No, I'm really not most of the time, nor am I a 'do me' bottom. I truly love to serve, I've just run into too many 'fetch me a beer' "dominants" in my past. If you're more interested in how you look with a flogger than getting inside my head, then most likely we are not compatible.
Anyway, check out my journal in the coming days for more details.
|
|
|
|
|
Well, I'm back after a long absence. I still want to find someone to play with and eventually share a relationship with, but with passing time, I'm not sure who or when that will be. It's nice to read others' profiles though. |
|
|
|
|
A note to anyone who writes me...about two weeks ago, I feel and bruised my tailbone. I'm healing, but as anyone who has had this misfortune can tell you, it's taking a while.
If I am slow to respond to letters, please know it's not that I'm not potentially interested or just being a jerk. It's just that I can't sit at my computer for more than about 30 minutes at a time.
Ouchie!!!! and not in a good way.  |
|
|
|
|
I've begun getting a few replies to my ad. It's always cool to meet other folks. I wish they'd read all the way to the end though. I'm not looking for a submissive. I have enough wonderful play partners. Ah, well.
Some interesting things on the horizon. |
|
|
|
|
In addition to the more mundane issues listed a few weeks ago, some things a regular power exchange partner (dominant) should possess:
basic requirements -
male probably. I've never had a regular dominant female partner, though I'm not highly opposed to the idea.
sadist possibly. Definately someone who's willing to push limits.
accepting/understanding of the service side of me service is an integral part of this whole thing to me, but to what degree, I'm still exploring.
someone who had the capability to love me because in my ideal world, there would be some sort of love there, even if it wasn't necessarily romantic "in love" type of thing. absolutely essential at this point in my kinky life
i need someone who will get into my head. and preferably, someone i can let really far into my head, and who can figure me out, and surprise me. :) yes. I can't be with someone on a regular basis that would just use me for target practice. Play for play's sake is fun, depending on the person and situation, but for long term, there must be more there.
someone who enjoyed me Beyond essential!!!
I'd want to play at least once a week. Sure, in a perfect world, this would be great...but honestly, it would have to be a regular occurance...in my life, every two would be more likely and perfectly acceptable.
I'd definitely want there to be sex involved - both sex for both of our enjoyment and service sex are acceptible. Yes. I love sex. I love play. I love both together. So ideally, there would be a mix.
I'd also like someone who was willing to play with me in public, loan me to others, make use of me in other scenes, and who was willing to be served in public. (whether that is blowjobs in an exhibitionistic sense, or getting them drinks, etc). I've come to realize that all these are really important to me. My exhibitionist really needs to be fed. It's also a sense of validation for me as well. That I'm 'good' enough to be shown off in public.
ideally, there would be some sense of protocol - not necessarily 'walk two steps behind me on the right at all times', but some sort of behavior guidelines. Again, this is important to me as well.
i would also need someone who would be okay with my switch side and okay with the fact that women are a need for me, at times. I have no problem with asking permission before playing with others, seeing others, but i would have to be able to. (and no, i wouldn't expect to be allowed every time, or with anyone, but it would have to be okay sometimes.)and to that, I would add, that never, ever, ever, would this person be allowed to step between me and my other established relationships.
Pretty tall order, huh??? |
|
|
|
|
Just for a lark, I put back up an ALT ad. More to read other people's stuff than anything else. Since the last time I did this things have changed to where unless you pay them money you can't read profiles. Gah! I just wanted to be able to browse around and see what was out there. I don't really see me ever answerin an ad like that. And I even put in my intro that I was not looking for anyone.
What a rip off. It used to be mindless entertainment. Especially when I used to put in the profiles..."Don't bother to write me if you can't spell and can't manage to leave the words 'fuck' or 'suck' out of your message." I got all these creepy guys..."On your knees slut to suck my cock." Yeah, whatever. And half of it would be spelled wrong.
Which brings me to another thing...If you're a dominant male, why o why in the world would you feel the need to post a picture of your cock only in an ad? I understand obscuring a face for privacy reasons...but do these guys really think that that's what actually matters to someone that wants to serve? Sure, a big ole hard cock and a healthy libido are great! But I'd be serving him, not his member. Ah well...the clueless are often amusing.
I mean maybe I set my standards too high. Any person that I'm going to give control to really should be able to spell and form a complete sentence.
What would my wish list look like for a dominant, assuming I was looking...(in no particular order)
1. Non smoker...or at the very least, someone that didn't smoke in enclosed areas.
2. Intelligent. The person really should be at least as smart as me. (yes, I know that sounds self important)
3. Interests that go beyond kink and sex and porn.
4. A good sized libido and a fair use of that drive.
5. Good kisser.
6. Light drinker/light rec drug use (not to exceed pot, x, shrooms and the like)
7. Not addicted to porn.
8. Have similar political and life views (generally liberal and generally positive)
9. Ability to make me laugh.
10. Interested in me as a person, friend and submissive.
11. Willingness/ability to go to events, parties, just out in general.
12. Acceptance of my friends and willingness to get along with them.
13. Ability to SHARE.
14. Deep and abiding respect for my husband and soul (shelli.)
15. able to deal with my switch side
16. I have to be at least somewhat physically attracted to the person.
17. Willingness to learn new things. Especially kink related.
18. Supportive of my involvement of the kink community.
19. A good voice
20. Willingness to keep up his/her end of the bargain in D/s.
21. Willing to push me.
22. Have at least some intersecting interests in the SM world.
23. Willing to be a Dominant, not just some guy that wants stuff fetched for him.
24. Emotionally available (honest, forthright, not passive agressive,etc.)
25. Accepting of my exibitionistic tendancies.
26. um...probably other stuff that I'm forgetting at this late hour.
and rich, and cute, and, and, and, and, not too much to ask. ;-) |
|
|
|
|
In having a conversation with a lifetime slave, She made several interesting distinctions. She defines slavery as a choice. To be a slave one chooses to offer their service to another. She sees dominance and submission as personality traits. Further, she is convinced that most slaves are dominant.
I've always seen slave as a negative term, for whatever reason. However, in hearing her take on it, something rings so completely true to me about it. By her definition, slaves are strong, smart, with the desire to serve and please. Slaves work hard. They try to be 4 steps ahead of their master and always attempt to be pleasing, in demeanor, appearance, etc. They are not doormats. They are full of energy and imagination.
I've seen women, who identify as submissive, with bowed backs, heads down, seemingly having no energy and life. That's not who I am. I'm not a doormat. I've heard men talk about what they want in submissives. I'm not that either...a vessel, a fuck toy, a step and fetch girl. Yes, I can be all those things, for someone I respect. I can enjoy all those things when the energy flows both ways.
She says to be a slave, you must have an ego. You must believe that you are the best slave in the world. You must stand tall and be proud in service. That to do otherwise is a disservice to your owner. I couldn't agree more.
She says that the difference between slavery and submission is action vs. reaction. Slavery means you have to be present and thinking all the time...submission is like an empty vessel ready to be filled. I like that distinction.
I'm not submissive in any sense of the word. I'm fiesty. I'm opinionated. I'm action oriented. I'm not an empty vessel. I've got plenty of my own energy to give.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at, really. But somehow the distinction of slavery as a choice, and submission as personality really makes sense to me.
I've battled in my head for sometime about the label I place on myself to make this part of me make sense. Submissive has never fit, in my head at least. But what else to call myself? I also know that labels are really not important to anyone but the person giving it to themselves...but there's something calming and centering about giving a name to what I feel in my heart. Maybe slave is a term I should use. Maybe one day, I'll take it as my own. But for now, I'm still working it all out. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Age: 29 |
| Dallas,
Texas |
|
|
|
| |
