Introduction
We both know that you’re tired of hearing from Dom’s who give your orders before they meet you, who can barely spell BDSM let alone do it, who think they are good because they can hit you hard enough to hurt you, who are less intelligent than you are, who …etc., etc. etc.
How about trying something different –responding to someone who is NOT like that -- me.
THE SHORT VERSION
I have gotten feedback that my profile is too long for some people, so here are the basic points in list, not nicely written, form:
1. I have 16 years of experience; still learning.
2. I am looking for LTR, by play partner until I reach that goal.
3. Unlike others here, I am NOT interested in the packaging, just what is inside: don't care about your age, race, height, weight, beauty, experience level, etc. I look for intelligence (not degrees) and creativity.
4. I practice safe, sane and consensual BDSM.
5.I am into erotic pain -- NOT beating you senseless but combining orgasmic pleasure with simultaneous mild to moderate (to extreme if you can take it) pain in the form of tit and pussy torture, until the pleasure and pain merge into one.
6. I will also play with couples in cuckold and MFM scenes.
If you want more detail on any of this, and more, read below.
BE SURE TO CLICK "Read Profile" button, since the main window does NOT display the whole profile, and there is NO notice from CM to "click here for more"
What I’m Looking For:
I'm looking for a long term relationship with a sub who will grow, learn and share with me. But I am realistic enough to know that that takes luck, work and time to develop.
I understand the importance of building trust. I understand the primacy of the mental and emotional aspects of submission, and their relation to the physical. I understand your giving the gift of submission, giving up control, and giving over your heart mind and soul to me, is a difficult state to attain among two people. (Click "read Profile" button to read rest)
While searching, I am ALSO interested in playing both with experienced subs who want to just play, and in teaching those new to the scene who want to learn.
So if you are looking for a long term relationship, we are both searching for the same thing. But that does not happen after one “meet and greet” in a restaurant meeting and 1 scene. That takes a lot of talk, serious play, and vanilla activities and time until we are sure we have found the right people.
And if you are just looking to play, either alone or as couple, then I’m open to that until the LTR happens.
And if you are new to the scene and are looking for someone to teach you what it’s about while stretching your limits without exceeding them, I will do that. As you read further, just remember that we don’t start doing everything day one. We talk, negotiate, and experiment at levels you are comfortable with.
About Me:
I have a life outside of bdsm. I am a professional with an advanced degree, and hold a responsible position training others. My life also includes a commitment to the arts (film, theatre, music, dance), activity (mostly bicycling and tennis), travel, study (philosophy, psychology, and foreign languages), and friends (many of whom are vanilla). I’m interested in sharing this life as well as the bdsm relationship.
In case you cannot see my profile, I’ll repeat here. I am 56 years young, am a fit/trim 5’'7"” 178 lbs (no, I won’t grow taller), am fully functional where it counts (though average in size, and it won’t grow either), and am disease and drug free.
I hope you will NOT be do the typically shallow male thing and make your choice based on my outer person alone (though I am NOT a 32 year old 6 foot stud with a 9”and thick cock, I am quite fit, presentable and sexual)
My Experience:
I am NOT a cyber player, nor a newbie. I have been in the scene for about 10 years. I have played publicly regularly at Leather Rose, now LRA, Galleria Domain and GDII, Just Fabulous, Tina’s, KBA parties and private parties. But I never show off and try to exceed my limits, and I always try new things on myself, and in the presence of experts, before trying them on someone else.
I practice safe, sane and consensual bdsm. First we exchange a few e-mails (I hate cyber so not too many). Then we talk on the phone. Then we meet in a public vanilla place to talk. Then, if we decide to play, we play first in a public place. We negotiate scenes. I do NOTHING except what we both consent to. We use safe words. We do NOT mix dugs or alcohol with play (if you want to drink/toke and just have gentle or rough sex, I’m there with you; but when we move to scenes, we both do them cold sober).
About My Approach
First, you will notice I am quiet and polite; I spend a lot of time listening to you. I am a Dom, and I don’t need to yell loudly, or order you to do things before we’ve met to prove it.
I am looking for a sub who wants to find someone who knows what they are doing and who to let them be who they really are deep inside.
I am looking for a sub who is attracted to older dominant men, and who wants to be taken to her extremes. She wants to be used and to please him. She wants all his needs taken care of and then hers, she wants to be made to do things. She wants to be gagged and used, tied up and let her body and spirit collide.
I am looking for a sexy submissive who enjoys pleasing her Dom in any way possible and lives for erotic servitude. She craves all types of sex and can take all that anyone can give and always begs for more. She loves to be restrained, Dominated and used. Her breasts and pussy are ultra sensitive and beg to be tortured; then sucked and kissed. Her limits are few.
For me, the bdsm power exchange, the sub’s giving up of control to the Dom, moves through the physical to the mental. My goal is break down all the barriers of socialization so that all that remains is primordial animal responses. The Dom in control of the sub because the sub’s craving for pleasure and pleasing is so great it overrides all restraint and pain required to obtain and do it. The sub surrenders to the Dom because he gives her what she so desperately needs -- a pure psychosexual bliss that leaves the soul satisfied and re-energized in the deepest way ... and at the same, aching instantly for more. It creates a new desire that grows deeper with each surrender. It is the ultimate joining of body, mind, and soul. As one sub put it: "It's when my brain and heart melt, and leak out of my cunt".
As a result, my play tends to be always sensual and sexual but paired with pain -- intricate mixings of pain/pleasure, until one becomes indistinguishable from the other. NOT excruciating pain as in beating someone into a bloody pulp. But delicious pain -- extremely sensual applications of the corporal arts -- as in spanking, flogging, clamping the appropriate portions of the body -- to maximize the power exchange and the pleasure/pain dynamic.
An example would be of genitorture (that’s breast, pussy and anal torture) that is done in a way that any pleasure and arousal also results in delicious pain. It is done in such a way that it is applied throughout a session of tender and mind-bending pleasurable stimulation. The sub is always given the choice...the pain can stop any time she wishes the pleasure to end. Tears welling in her eyes because she knows she cannot say no each time I ask if she wants just a tiny bit more pleasure, knowing the pain that will accompany it.
The purpose is NOT to hurt the sub, or beat her to a bloody pulp – that hurts you and is no fun for me. But rather the purpose is to bring the sub to a state of true submission and pleasure at the same time – getting pleasure from pleasing her Dom. Realizing that while she has choices, her Dom is always in control, and there can a price to pay for certain choices.
Among the bdsm activities I am interested in are:
Anal Sex; Ass Play; Biting; Bondage; Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc.; Candle Wax; Chastity Devices; Cling Film; Collar and Lead/Leash; Cuckold; Dildos (Handheld & Strap-ons); Domination; Electrotorture (EMS TENS units); Exhibitionism/Sex In Public; Hair Pulling; Handcuffs/Shackles; High Heels; Lace/Lingerie; Lactation; Leather; Massage; Masturbation; Mutual Masturbation; Nipples; Oral Sex; Pain; Power Exchange; Rimming; Role Playing; Sadism; Sadism/Masochism; Sex During Menstruation; Talking Dirty; Toys; Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine); Vibrators; Whips
My Sub
Again, I'm looking for a long term relationship with a sub who will grow, learn and share with me. I am serious about bdsm. That means I am concerned your inner person, not your outer appearance (age, size, race, tit size, weight, etc.)..
My sub will subscribe to this quote that clearly differentiates submission from my running your life…
“…I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding..”
~Anais Nin
Things that ARE important to me:
1. you SHOW up (if you say you are going to exchange e-mails or meet, you show up; even if you are nervous or want to end it, you do NOT just run away and hide; you talk about why you do not want to proceed; bdsm is about communication)
2. you are HONEST with yourself and me (you don’t hide things that could hurt you or trigger bad reactions, like medical conditions and meds you take, past abuse, past bad bdsm relationships)
3. you are CONSISTENT in what you say (don’t say “I’m not into pain, but am into flogging and clamps;” flogging and clamps produce pain, so if you like them, it’s clear you are into certain kinds of pain)
4. you are ADVENTUROUS and willing to try new things, and not limit yourself to only what you have done before or what you think you want now
5. you are interested in a SENSUAL type of play (while being served is nice, I do not need you to clean my house or develop my website or sit around in positions all day)
6. you are CLEAR about what you want (if you want just a quick beat-and-fuck, that’s fun; and if you are new and want to learn, that’s great too; and if you want a long-term relationship, that’s wonderful; just know and tell me which you want)
7. you have the PSYCHOLOGICAL ENERGY to give back during a scene (you’re not a “do me” sub)
8. you can COMMUNICATE your needs and wants to help co-create scenes (I do not read minds, and if you do not tell me your fantasies, I cannot decide to either fulfill or deny them)
9. you are NOT just exploring because an almost-master told you to go play around a bit before you come back to him to be collared
10. you do NOT want someone to rescue you or run your life for you; running my own is a full time job without having to rescue you or tell you how to run yours every minute of the day.
Responses
I realize this is the web and CM, and the courtesy rules are different here from real life.
And that you probably get a lot of e-mails.
But some sort of response from you would be nice.
So I look forward to hearing from you either way.
