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I'm complicated. There's no way to reduce who I am down to a few words. Oh I can copy and paste my results from the bdsm test at bsdm.org and write about my fantasies or desires - although even that for me is abstracted - but its an oversimplification and I resist going down that road. I'm a complex person.
Two things you should know upfront: Yes, I identify as submissive but unless that submission has been given to you I don't owe it to you so don't approach me that way - I won't even reply. A sub is not everyone's sub. I have a measure of self respect and expect a Dom to earn what respect they get from me not just have it handed up on a silver platter because you put a D or an M in front of your name. I'm not a doormat and what you will find is that I can be both stubborn and strong minded when I'm not acting directly as a sub.
Second: I mentioned I was complicated - this means medically. I have a list of medical conditions that are often to much for people to handle. I respect that, which is why I'm upfront about it from the word go. I'll include the list here and if it bothers you save us both the trouble and don't contact me.
- bipolar disorder with rapid cycling and occasional (non violent) auditory hallucinations
- severe social anxiety disorder - I'm working on this one, but I find its the one that has the mos effect on anything I want to do in the lifestyle.
- very minor PTSD
- insomnia
- fibromyalgia
- restless legs syndrome
- cluster migraines
- malabsorbtion of multiple types of nutrients (specifically iron and b12)
- HSV 1 & 2 (due to a rape; in over 20 years I've never passed this to a partner)
- severe photo sensitivity
- due to years of these conditions my teeth are a wreck; they're mostly destroyed and this shames me to my core. I find for many people it is also a deal breaker.
So, why share my problems before talking about other aspects of my life? Largely because I find the things I listed are to much for some people and I don't want to invest my time or waste someone else's with something that could clearly be ruled out with the simplicity of full disclosure upfront. Further with the sole exception of my teeth I am not ashamed of my illnesses and my shame over the condition of my teeth is only an irrational, emotional response. I make no apologies for having this set of illnesses, no more than I expect a person with cancer or arthritis to make apologies for it.
What else is there to say about me? The interest section of the bio is pretty thorough so I don't feel like I need to go into the kinds of things that I enjoy. With my medical problems I don't work; I'm on SSI an have been for some time. I do my best to keep busy - I dislike it when my mind is idle, so I read a great deal, write a great deal, follow politics and play a variety of games (PC, console and table top), mostly the RPG style but I do like some other genre provided the story or writing that accompanies it is interesting. I love a good debate and a solid intellectual exchange of ideas appeals to me; I can disagree civilly and expect other people to do the same.
When it comes to my submissive nature I should say that while I've been interested in BDSM since before I had the words to put to what the desires were I have extremely limited experience. Finding my limits beyond what I know at once to be hard limits will be a process that comes with time. I can be very shy about such things so I would need someone with great patience for nervousness. I enjoy taking good care of someone though and with time I can always learn to anticipate the needs of the people I'm involved with, usually trying to provide them before they're articulated. It takes time to learn a person's cues on that level but I find I'm adept at it. I enjoy seeing the to the comfort of those I'm involved with, and within the limits of my medical problems I tend to put the needs of others before my own. That being said my respect has to be engaged and that is not simply done. As I said above I am not automatically submissive to everyone I meet. The opposite tends to be true - submission comes as a deliberate choice and within the context of respect and trust. Otherwise I tend to maintain careful an strict self control.
This has gotten quite long but I hope it helps. I'm happy to answer questions but don't be surprised if they prompt me to ask some questions in return. Fair warning though - if you message me I'd ask you to do so politely. Anything that is rude or assumes that I owe immediate submission, anything that begins with calling me ugly names will be deleted and blocked.
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== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
97% Masochist
97% Submissive
94% Rope bunny
87% Brat
79% Degradee
74% Girl/Boy
73% Non-monogamist
70% Slave
67% Ageplayer
63% Experimentalist
42% Primal (Prey)
34% Exhibitionist
15% Pet
12% Vanilla
11% Voyeur
6% Sadist
2% Daddy/Mommy
2% Degrader
2% Primal (Hunter)
1% Brat tamer
1% Rigger
1% Switch
0% Dominant
0% Master/Mistress
0% Owner |
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Age: 31 |
Califoinia city,
Maryland |
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