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RandomSubBoy27

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Friends:
mercilesstease

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Superbia mos adepto vos nusquam Deus in Angelis suis, et confido. Thank God for God :) "And now You're standing in the neon, looking like a high I wanna be on" "I followed You into the park, Through the jungle, through the dark Girl I never loved one like You" "Well tell Her that I miss our Little Talks" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOjdXSrtUxA I'll stand up with You forever.

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10/3/2013 5:02:54 PM

Submission- "The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person" (The Dictionary)

 

Submission, from wikipedia, regarding D/s- "The submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the Dominant"

 

Both of these rings true, to a point. This is a journal about what submission, and being submissive, in a short journal, mean to me. It means following, to me. To cherish, respect, revere, and honor my Dominant. If they are down, to bring them up. To bring a smile to Her face, to brighten, not darken their day. To enjoy BDSM and kinks. To submit, positioning, and mentally. Fully trusting them, with the gift of submission. It is a gift, not a right. Please treat it as such. I am strong, not weak. I am a person, not less than. I am real, not fake. I speak the truth, I do not lie to gain favor with You. I try, and I adapt. I am willing to try most anything, within reason, at least once or twice. I'd hope to have my limits pushed.

 

We can be friends, and I will still always know I am a sub, and You're a Domme. I will make it a point to anticipate Your needs, Your wants, before You have to say word. I'd hope to exceed any expectations or hopes You may have. Of course, I am human, and have my own wants and desires! I love to beg for them, and see the grin appear on Your face as I do. I will care deeply. Being submissive, to me, is about kink. It is also about much more. It's an emotional, physical, mental, and even sometimes Spiritual connection. It holds weight, and lots of it. Eventually I will write about the Dominant side, from my lowly perspective.

 

I will gladly get on my knees in front of You, try new, fun, exciting things with You, that You want to. At the same time, should I sense a hint of sadness, or see a tear, I will make You laugh. Forget about whatever made You sad, and bring hope, or at least that smile. I will lend a bare ass for a stern spanking and lesson, I will lend a hand to help You back on Your pretty feet. I'll take a kick in the nuts, I'll give a great massage. I'll take tease and denial for hours, the same as I will hold You just as long, providing some warmth and safety. That is my responsibility to myself, and hopefully to You. There are things I've left out, but You get the idea.

 

It means trying and doing a kink I dislike, as much as it means bringing You a cup of coffee and shoulder to lean on!!


9/15/2013 3:44:59 PM

"Out of Suffering have emerged the strongest Souls. The Most massive Characters are seared wtih scars" -Khalil Gibran

 

    I don't know where to start off. I am human. I do have flaws. Plenty of them. Defects, imperfections. Call them what you will. I try to work on them. I fall short. I take that quote too seriously. I think the more I suffer, the stronger I will be. At least mentally. Physically, I'm already fucked. I'm unique. I have a most fragile inside, and toughest exterior. I have a broken bone in my elbow, a torn ligament in my thumb. I have counted 5 cracks on different ribs, a collarbone that may snap at any moment. No cartilage in my knees. A fractured disc, my C3 (hairline). I have a traumatic syrinx. Your basic hole in the spinal cord. Nerve damage of a massive variety. Demylinating Disease. 21 surgeries. Scars everywhere. You could beat me, and beat me some more. You'd have trouble leaving a mark that would last over 2 days, break my skin, that is hard. It'll heal quicker. I am dying, from the inside out. I am 23. 8-10 years left to live.

       

    I am a man. I am a submissive, man. Whether this makes you pity me, laugh at me, whatever. If you're still reading this, I'm surprised. This is a rant. But one of the heart. One meant to inspire. Help. Empower. Restore hope. This is my story. I am physically dying. Mentally in hell. Emotionally, gone. I am a recovering addict. I live in pain worse then almost any of you can imagine. I take nothing for it. I have seen death all my life. 4 best friends, 3 to suicide. One was my Heart. One was pure joy. One was sheer Bliss. The one, KIA Iraq, was my strength. I want to be him when I grow up. There are more than this. You see so much in the world I lived for so long. I hold those listed and not listed Near and Dear to my Heart.

 

      Take what you want from all this. My hell will be your strength. I Believe. I have Hope. I have Faith. In a Higher Power, a Balance. He is my God. Not from a book, no offense to anyone. Never once has He, or His Angels left my side. Thank You for this. I am so truly Blessed. With an open mind, one may learn. With an open heart, one will see. With an open Soul, one will Grow. I leave a light on in my Soul as a beacon. As a strength in hope. I have loved, I have lost. I have died, and been raised again. When I look at myself through God's eyes, I only wish to never be ashamed. That is how I am judged. And no, He doesn't judge. I do that to myself. He Loves, Forgives, Protects, and Saves. Mostly me from myself. I try to take care of people. To protect them from pain. Harm. From everything. I have a strong protective instinct. Very much so. I try to grow, and change, for the better. I do not succeed a lot haha. I hope I do, though. I am jealous, I am possessive. I work on these, often. I have bad qualities, as well as good ones. The difference is, I ask for help with the bad. I try to become better. Always striving. I look around and see so many people lost. Reaching out and searching to make themselves feel whole.

 

      Only You Are Able To Do This. No one else can. If you allow hope inside, you will shine bright. Find whoever you are, and love it. Grow, change. Be who you are. Stay true. Don't allow others to judge you, most of all, don't judge yourself too harshly. I sit here, in pain, alone all day. Mentally, physically, I feel I am not good enough. I am insufficient, and am meant to be destitute. I lose myself in my own head. Above that, I take what life I have and put it into others. I spoke of this. Helping. It is my calling. A balancing act, I must learn. To help myself, and others. A part I hold deep inside is how I so desperately don't want to be alone. I feel my life shortening, and hate that feeling. I want someone to care for me, and be with me. This, is in God's time. I want it all. Love, Hope, the works. I work on that every day. Trying so hard. Putting my own emotions aside for everyone around me. Whether this comes off as unhealthy, or off as a man trying to be better is up to you. I do fight, all the time. I hold onto life. I find positivity almost everywhere, I look for it. I seek it out. I can make the World Smile.

 

    I fight tooth and nail to wake up alive every day. My dreams are where my Hopes come out. I am dying, and I am living so much more. I don't really know what made me write this. Probably me dying, moving out under stressful conditions, dealing with strong emotions, feeling alone and better off that way. Bem, Eric, Matt, Eric spoke through me. I will serve as a Vessel for their Hearts to Shine. Each day, I portray one of my favorite qualities about them and from them inside of myself. It is my tribute to them, how I honor their memories.

 

 

        I am kinky. I am a masochist. I am lover and a fighter. I have hope and faith.
Fight. Fight like you mean it. Be strong. Remember, I am always here. Use my words to lift yourself. Find strength in them, and know what to hold dear in your life. Don't ever forget the things that matter. Please. I have done so enough times, and it only ever hurts. Learn from my hell, and grow into Your own Bliss. A touch of hope, and the World will change.


4/20/2013 8:44:57 PM

There's a lot more to life than just Straight A's.


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QueenChristine
 
 Age: 20
 Bury St eds, United Kingdom