|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My profile is pretty long, but I’d highly appreciate it if you took the time to read it before contacting me. But here’s the skinny, so you know whether to move on or not: I’m a masochist and a submissive pretty much only during play, so no 24/7 TPE for me. Pansexual, trans* friendly, open to many kinks. Not interested in online play of any kind. you must have a pic to show
What I’m hoping to find on here are people who can understand the difference between real life needs and fantasy needs. 24/7 tpe is great for some people, but isn’t for me. In “real life,” as in my every day, not connected to kink life, I’m independent and stubbornly resentful of any form of authority if I feel that figure of authority doesn’t “deserve” to tell me what to do. (you can imagine how it was for me in the military--sometimes turned on, often pissed off)
From what I can gather about myself (and this will be biased, obviously) is that I can be passive, let whatever bullshit or attempts at domination (and this does not have to refer to anything sexual, it could mean another person trying to bully, or criticizing me, etc) pass right over me. I might not come back with aggression, and to some that appears to be submission. But I believe that submission is not the absence of action, but rather the altering of one’s own state of mind and/or thoughts to better suit the other person’s mindset.
I’ve tried being a slave twice before, and even though I did have love for both masters, we could not reconcile our strong personalities. I could never be a slave, I don’t think.
And yet...
I am almost constantly having intricate fantasies that would be far too dangerous and extreme for real life. Themes like kidnapping, abuse, violence, isolation, extreme domination are an elixir for me, but I wouldn’t want these things to really happen to me in real life. It’s kinda confusing and frustrating to me! But I guess, like with many fantasies that people have, it’s perfectly cool to act them out as scenes.
A kink I’ve been recently gotten into is body worship, and that came about by imagining a particular guy (just some male celebrity I’m crushing on right now; at any given moment I’m in love with some entertainer or another lol) owning me in every way, I mean when I fantasize about this I do try to imagine all the ways he can do so. To the point where he is my world; any extreme sensation I get, be it pleasure or pain, comes from him; I need permission for anything, my every thought is about him, positive or negative. His discipline is erratic and unpredictable, so it could be terrible for a minor infraction. All depending on his mood, I guess, and as my master, that’s his prerogative.
And so beyond obeying and acting submissive to him for my own safety, sometimes I’m lucky enough to be allowed to worship his body that I love and lust for. Lavishing his bare skin with kisses and caresses, causing sounds of pleasure from what I’m doing for him, despite (or because) the fact that this very same man has caused, and will cause again, physical and emotional suffering for me. My fear of him is thrilling and intense, rivalling my lust for him.
That is such a powerful, hot fantasy for me, and I guess my confusion comes from wondering where do I draw the line. In real life, I don’t put up with abuse from people, like insults or criticism that’s only meant to hurt, or just general asshattery. Toxic people get severed from my life.
If I feel that I can trust you, if I genuinely care about you, really like you, and I know that you feel the same caring and appreciation for me, then we can explore how far down this path we can go. I realistically see myself playing out intense scenes with a dom/domme, and once that scene is done, so is the power exchange. I can definitely see myself continuing to be submissive to a certain extent with someone who really inspires that response from me and makes me feel safe and comfortable to do so. I may never be a slave, but I can see myself getting close with just the right person.
I can be sadistic, as well, though I’m not sure I’m ready or comfortable dominating someone. At least not yet. I absolutely love to watch it, though. This taste is partly what drives me to watch movies I know will have violence and/or displays of domination in them, whether the victims are male or female (I have a strong preference for the victims being men, though, for some reason; that just drives me up the wall). But again, I really enjoy it when I know it’s fake, or if there is love and trust in the situation, that the submission is willing. Just as I love to be cuddled after an intense session, I love to see the master and slave I’m watching cuddle when they’re done. Genuine affection certainly is a turn on for me, and can be really powerful when it’s paired with intense power exchange.
I had listed myself as a switch on here, but I wish there were yet another term for between sub and switch. Soft sub? lol I don’t know. I wish I did, so I could better seek out what it is I really want!
Outside the kink world, I am currently working on my Fine Arts degree and hope to make a living as an artist some day. I love writing comics, drawing, painting, or trying out or experiencing all kinds of creative expression that could possibly exist. It’s a special thrill to me to discover as many awesome new things as I can every day, and my time at college has been wonderful for me so far. By far one of my best decisions in life has been to pursue art in college.
I’m chubby and by far not perfect physically, but I want to change. I can understand completely if I’m not attractive to someone because of my weight; we all have our preferences. Hopefully with time I can slim down and attract more people.
I’m interested in a whole hell of a lot of things, like science, history, liberal politics, movies, books, music, you name it. I definitely love a good, interesting conversation.
On, and I guess I better make it clear that I have no interest in conservative minded people, thank you. I am quite firmly left-wing. Unabashedly, outspokenly feminist, liberal, etc. If you’re a sexist/racist/homophobic/bigoted douche, well I guess you better hide that part of yourself or just talk to someone else. I don’t play with that bullshit. I once dumped someone I initially thought was sexy as hell because he made a racist comment on our first date. lol @ those white people who automatically assume other white people are also racist. Trust me, it’s not “safe” to make those kinds of comments/jokes around me just because I’m white. I can’t even tell you how many times this has happened in my life.
My limits are: excrement of any kind, unprotected sex (if I get serious with someone, we can of course discuss that), kids, animals, hard drugs, serious injuries, and possibly more. I am totally open to discuss it and respect the limits of my partner.
You don’t have to be some super hardass dom/domme to attract me, either. In fact I like laid back people, and most of all I want to feel safe. And I want to feel that what you are presenting to me is open and genuine. Macho posturing is tedious. In fact a seemingly normal, laid back person who has this dark side to them is such a turn on.
If you want a reply from me, read my profile and have a picture of yourself (your FACE) ready to show me. If that’s too much trouble, then it’s too much trouble for me to respond to you. Not only are looks an important factor for me, but this site is full of stalker types, let’s face it.
I will put more up once I take some more current photos of myself, and I will be happy to share pics of myself until then.
I don’t have a car, but am willing to do what I can to meet you.
sorry this was so long, but if you read it all, you rock! Also, if you get the reference in my username, you also rock!
|
|
|
|
|
I'm still here. A lot's been going on; just started a new semester, etc. But you know, I'm kinda getting sick of feeling so damn lonely, so that's why I'm attempting another shot at this. I mean, i'm lonely mostly because I don't even try to meet people. I'm so used to the way I live, I guess, even though I don't like it.
Lonely seems to be such an ugly word. Makes one think of desperation. I'm not desperate. I'll still be pretty picky. But I want to meet someone. So fuck it, I'll give it a try.
I'm down for almost anything as far as dating or hanging out. Like I know around here is kinda...yeah. But if you don't have a car or money, then I'd probably suggest we hang out wherever we can toke and watch music videos, go to the river and swim, listen to music, play video games, whatever, and get to know each other.
or we can always smoke a bowl lol |
|
|
|
|
my new profile pic (with the skull shirt) is brand new; just took it this morning! So that's what I look like...
what hair length you think suits me better? |
|
|
|
|
if you're a sub visiting my profile expecting me as the switch, I'm still here. Those desires still exist, for the right person. I changed it to submissive to better hone in my search, and because that side is a lot more dominant in me right now. Just please understand I'm not looking for a full time slave or anything, but I'm open to casual fun with people of any persuasion |
|
|
|
|
you know, I actually was debating on whether to even bother updating my profile because of my weight. I hate it, and already I've seen someone on here who makes me drool...but I would be too fat for him. That tempts me to run back into hiding, but I'm forcing myself to tough it out. Hopefully I can still talk to awesome people on here, maybe even meet someone special. And when the weight finally does come off, well then who knows. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Age: 22 |
| Accra,
Ghana |
|
|
|
| |
