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Ladies, watch out for InControlOfHer. He has posted a flat out lie about me. He stood me up early this spring and is lying about facts to cover his ass.
Or maybe he is just such a serial player he can't keep his facts straight.
I tend to wonder about people that name names. I was taught it was not the proper thing to do in life or the Lifestyle, but I refuse to be lied about in an open forum.
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There are times I think I really should start posting the names of the picture collectors, the fakes, the liars, the ones that stand people up, the ones that are unsafe at any speed.
Good luck on here. I'm done. Off to the better Lifestyle site, where social networking is the norm and fakes, poseurs and player are not tolerated.
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I'm taking a self imposed time out. This site makes me crazy.
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Please take the time to earn my trust before you make demands. If a submissive makes a simply request of you in order to take the next step, do not deny them or thoughtlessly toy with their feelings. In the end, your action (or inaction) will cause them to be anything but open and trusting.
When a submissive hands you the tools to build a relationship, don't use those tools to build a wall.
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Yes I have an valid passport. No I am not interested in moving to Egypt, Romania, Italy, Australia or New Zealand or anywhere outside the continental United States to serve as your slave.
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Riddle me this:
Why would a mature woman want to serve a young man half her age? That is like giving up eating in Michelin three star restaurants to live on carryout pizza and ramen noodles.
People, be realistic when conducting a search. A pretty picture is meaningless if you have nothing in common.
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Arrogance v Confidence
I find arrogance so unbecoming, be it in a dominant or submissive. Arrogance has always been attached to insecurity in my mind. Do you brag about being the best whatever on CM? BFD. Without real life actions to support that claim, it is meaningless.
Quiet confidence is a totally different story. Being secure in what you do and who you are is very appealing. The calm quiet energy that radiates off a confident person is deeply attractive.
As a confident slave I am often challenged by those that don't understand that slavery is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. To give so deeply of yourself, you need to be pretty damn secure and comfortable about who and what you are.
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From my FL friend LuciferCat. Something well worth sharing. I've been active in the lifestyle for about 12 years and I am in total agreement with him.
Arrogance, Intelligence and of course BDSM:
I'm not going to go into a lot of depth on just because someone self
proclaims to be Dom, Master or submissive, does not make them the be all
end all expert of the BDSM world. I am willing to bet that the majority
of online experts have less experience then novices that are looking to
learn.
To this day I am amazed when a novice asks a question and immediately
becomes the focus of every arrogant attitude toting wannabe. How
knowledgeable you are regarding BDSM does not equate to how arrogant and
rude you can be. If anything it demonstrates just how little knowledge
you actually have.
When provoked, I can be as cutting as a razor. I will slice and dice a
fool at the heart of their very soul. But why would I do this to a
novice submissive or a new Dom? There is no valid reason to do so. By
participating in this sort of activity I am making a potential play
partner consider Me a fool or a potentially excellent Dom always
remember Me as the idiot that didn't know anything more than how to run
My mouth. Yes, BDSM is wonderful, but it is not elite and it is not by
invitation only.
Those that still believe that arrogance shows how smart you are... get over yourself... everyone else has long ago.
A side note... if you have to tell someone that you're a Dom -
chances are you're not. Tuck away your attitude and temper - before
someone that really does have claws finds you interesting.
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Protection and what it means:
For
those of us that come from a more formal side and/or Leather side of
the Lifestyle it DOES mean something, just as consideration does. These
protocols existed before the online proliferation of the Lifestyle. In
my case, being under my former owner protection means she is still
acting as my mentor and adviser of Lifestyle issues I am unclear on. She
is not my body guard or bouncer. In theory, anyone serious about
wanting to play with me or start negotiations regarding my ownership
should contact my protector to get permission. Think of a man asking a woman's
father for her hand in marriage, it is somewhat similar to that. I am not sure what protection means in the realm of online BDSM, as I prefer to live my fantasies, not type about them.
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A light bulb moment. This is not a BDSM site or a matchmaking site. This is an Internet gaming site filled with horny net geeks incapable of having a real life relationship with another human being.
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I'm confused. What is with all the 24 year old "dommes" wearing leather corsets and collars? I thought leathers had to be earned and collars are only for subs and slaves.
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What is with all the form letters? Take a moment to write a personalized response. If you are too busy (or too lazy) to do so, you have no right to even consider owning a slave. With ownership comes responsibility.
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This site is really starting to annoy me. Some of the mail I get blows my mind. Either the emails sound like online job interviews or bad porn.
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If you think this about pain and kinky sex and only pain and kinky sex, I am not the girl you seek. If you don't understand the joy of non-sexual service and what head space and sub space are, move along.
I'm not looking for a grow your own dom. I am a strong, confident slave. There is a difference between negotiating and begging a slave to meet and play with you.
Not everyone was meant to own a fine European sports car. Some of you doms can't even drive a manual transmission...
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Two words: READING COMPREHENSION.
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I don't believe in true or natural Masters, subs, or slaves. I have known many a slave with a dominant personality, more so than many people that identify as dominant. Being submissive and dominant are personality traits. They are not defined by gender or role IMHO.
If you write me and say you seek a true slave or that you are a natural dominant, I will delete your email. Those labels tell me we are not on the same page and not compatible as friends or potential partners.
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Home from my first event in ages. A bit ashamed I am so out of shape, scene wise. Hard to focus, maybe it was the venue, for the company was fine.
And I have the marks to prove it!
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Why do I keep getting emails from people that want me to be their tour guide for all things kinky? Don't ask me to share my BDSM life story. That's gauche. If you have that little lifestyle experience, I am not the girl for you.
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I am in no way affiliated with midorisdesire11. She has a crappy low rez version of the Vargas drawing I am using on my profile. I have used this image for several years now on Lifestyle sites, please do not confuse me with her.
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Random friend invites without prior communication will be rejected. I'm not here to"collect" friends, I'm here to make them.
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How should I handle the hateful, rude and venomous email I get? Do I reply and let the loser that sent it know he almost got to me? Or should I ignore it and cheat him out of the pleasure?
This site is filled with cowards that hide behind their words and feeling bullying = dominance.
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I was just informed that some fake has used large portions of my profile copy in their profile. I guess I should be flattered, but I'm outraged. Now I'm getting labeled a fake! A great deal of thought and effort went into creating my profile, nice to know all some scammer needs to do is cut and paste to destroy my credibility.
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Has every whack job on CM written me today or are there more of you in the woodwork still waiting to come out? Enough with the games guys. Just because I'm a slave, that does not mean I'm an idiot.
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Not looking for casual play, sex on the side or an online/LDR. All these things are clearly listed in my profile.
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My hard limits are clearly defined in the body of my profile. I am NOT interested in any dominants that feel forcing your submissive to have sex with a dog is in anyway consensual. Last time I checked, pets, like children are not able to make an informed decision.
HARD, HARD, HARD LIMIT. Not my kink, not now, not ever.
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Why do men contact women in their late 40's asking them to be breeders?
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Todays Rant: Form letters
Don't piss and moan about the fakes on this site if the best approach you have is to send a form letter out to me.
And you wonder why you get blocked?
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My new favorite trend is the people studying to become a slave. I wonder, is that a BS or a BA? Not sure if slavery is an art or a science.
*Debate amongst yourselves*
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CollarMe chat does not work. Kindly please stop sending requests!
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Really? Friend invites with cock shots from overseas? Have you run out of women to annoy on your own island?
The only pain I get these days is from banging my head on my desk.
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This is not the profile of a dominant, this is an abuser that thinks that that is what BDSM is.
Very simple: Seeking extreme ownership of a slave for abuse, degradation
and suffering. Not just TPE, but TPE used in an unfair and abusive way.
Idiot even admits it!
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It has been said "don't hate the player, hate the game". I do hate the game, it seems so pointless. I pity the players, what a waste of energy. I'm more convinced than ever that for too many people this is nothing more a game. For a select handful of us, this is the type of relationship we are drawn toward, the dynamic we crave to feel complete.
To the rest of you - find another hobby or move to Nigeria or something.
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Do-me subs:
If your profile lists the things you expect a dominant to do for you, to you and offer nothing in return, you are a do-me sub IMHO. The key word in that sentence is EXPECT. It is ok to have wants, desires. It is up to the dominant to decide when and if to grant them. You demanding, expecting them, acting out like a spoiled brat to get them is topping from the bottom and to the actions of a submissive, twue or otherwise.
And if you call yourself a slave and demand such treatment...*shakes head*
BTW, this behavior is not limited to female s-types. I think I see more of it on the profiles of male s-types. The demands to be fucked with strapons, the forced feminization. Having a fetish is one thing, telling someone else to do it to you is another.
Ask, don't tell takes on a whole new meaning in the Lifestyle.
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"Dominate" Screening 101
Dom du jour writes to tell me how experienced he is and what a huge
collection of toys he has. Ok, I'll take the bait and play with this one
a bit. I demurely write him back and inquire about his fabulous stash.
Just as I suspected, all goodies from the local corner spank bank book
store and Chinese junk BDSM sex toy emporium. I then ask him if he has a
first aid kit in his bag. He replies "Why would I need that? I know
what I'm doing". I swear I can hear him thumping his chest from here.
Sheesh, I have a first aid kit in my car, my play bag and a special
one for my clumsy dogs. Accidents happen, even to the most experienced
players.
I feel sorry for the poor girl he really does end up playing with. I
doubt he has a sharp knife or bandage scissors or anything to cut off
his cheap rope in an emergency either.
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To the two "dominates" that just wrote me to tell me I'm not real...whatever. I know I'm not some Nigerian scammer. I know I'm a slave and have been bless to have met some incredible people and had some amazing experiences in the Lifestyle.
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No Limits Slaves?
Don't go there. It is a silly concept, for all living things have limits unless you are into snuff, necrophilia or amputation. Gravity is still the law. Sweeping generalizations are all good and fine until reality comes into play.
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