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I have gone through a number of very...interesting changes in my life as of recently. With the help of a close friend and a number of other sources I have come to figure out that being a dominant is something I was born into, not something that came from conditioning. This is the way my life should be, this is the way I am.
I am looking for Doms who are willing to give advice on how to go about expanding my knowledge of the lifestyle and Subs to meet an get to know.
As you will notice, none of my photos here will show my entire face....ever. I would rather not be recognized by co-workers. If you wish to see more, get to know me and I will share once I trust you.
As for a bit about me as a person. i am not judgmental, I do not believe in saying someone is a bad person just because they don't agree with me on things. Things including how to live the lifestyle, religious views, political views, drug habits and just about anything else. I am not the kind to hide things from people I trust, so if you start talking to me there may be a number of things I hold back at first, but if you prove yourself to be trustworthy I will be forthcoming.
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A major update:
So folks! I have not been around much but ohhhh how much has changed. Since my last post I have been to 2 other play parties and each time I have pushed myself far deeper than I believed I could. I now have begun training in rope play and Florentine flogging. My left hand needs to be stronger but that will come with time as well.
On other fronts: I have my license, my car will be ready by this Wednesday, I will be starting work within the next 2-3 weeks! Ahhhh life is good. When my work contract is up in 3-4 months I will be moving out of my house and most likely to Rochester NY!
Ahhhh, how things can change so drasticly.
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My first play party, and oh what a party it was.
I arrived in Rochester on Thursday night and every moment from then
until Saturday I was nervous and anxious to begin. I wanted to try all
those things I had been thinking about, had read about and had seen in
pictures. It was the sweetest agony waiting until I finally arrived.
The venue could not have been more perfect. We arrived at what looked
like an old factory under the cover of night, the air was crisp and
cold and tasted a tad acrid on my tongue. We were let in and as we
descended I became more and more excited about what was to come. The
people at RKS were all warm and welcoming, and even though I was
nervous I was made to feel at home. After a quick tour of the dungeon
and some warm introductions I was more and more ready. As Rya, my
mentor, prepared for the night I did some preparations of my own.
It is said often that music smooths the savage beast, however I
believe that this very all encompassing school of thought is not quite
accurate. Yes, music can be very soothing, but it can also be used to
do other things. I sat in a comfortable chair, I listened to a select
list of songs that help bring out that other side of me. It helps to
make me feel sharp, make me feel as sharp as a razor blade and just as
dangerous. I felt so alive. I even found out later on that I
accidentally ignored someone because of it (sorry kat) but it was
something I needed at the moment. As Rya came out of the changing room
I was more than ready. It felt like I was born ready. Like all my life
I had been waiting for this chance...this moment.
The scene took place on the cross, chaining her up but leaving her
feet unbound. I wanted her to be able to move as I needed her to for
the night and I went through the toys she had brought for me to play
with. Throughout the course of the night I went through 1 cane, 1
multi-cane, 2 floggers (not for Florentine style even though that is
one of the many things I will be working on as time goes one), 1
feather duster, 1 soft mitt (I believe it is a dust mitt but it is very
soft), 1 mp3 player, 1 set of Remington ear muffs for sensory
deprivation, 1 crop and a plastic piece that seemed to be from a set of
blinds. I was in my element.
The only advice I was given (and the only advice I needed) was on
the use of the floggers. I was standing a bit too close and wrapped her
shoulder because of it and after heeding that advice it was much easier.
I got to experience domspace and I can barely remember what was
going on at that point...it is all sort of a haze...an wonderful
haze.... On my first night out I got her to reach subspace and even
those who watched told me that I took like a duck to water. Not bad for
a first night out...and I have so very far to go. After our fun was
over we relaxed on the couch, wrapped her up in one of my hoodies and
let her rest her head on my stomach and there we remained until she was
content.
And to think...this is just the beginning.
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Next week I will be going to my first play party and I am both excited and nervous. I have not had the chance to play in person yet and even though I will have a few opportunities to do so I will still be thrust into this new and very different experience.
I end up thinking about the situation and second guessing myself, a bad habit I have been trying to defeat. I wonder if I am truly following the path I wish to follow and if I will truly be happy through this. However, these thoughts are fleeting. I am going to be doing my best to keep busy between now and then, keep my mind occupied.
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Ok, I know I'm new here...and my opinion is generally useless because it is just one opinion but I have a serious problem with financial domination.
I understand that it's different strokes for different folks and people will do what they will because it is what they desire. I get that. However that does not mean I don't think it's bullshit and it definitely won't stop me from voicing my opinion.
In my eyes submission has always been a gift given from a submissive to a Dominant. When a sub tells their Dom that they truly submit it means that they are giving away a piece of themselves to that Dom out of trust and reverence. In many cases love is also in there but not always. To me having a sub wish to please me and do things for me is the ultimate gift and I would cherish it with all that I am.
However
With financial domination it creates the risk of sucking the sub dry. If you continue to tell the subs to give you money...they will. In many cases (not all) they will give every red cent they have until they do not even have enough to take care of what they have to. This is something that also happens in the vanilla world and is looked down up on there.
Somehow some people think that the rule is different here.
If you do something that puts the sub at any sort of serious risk of ruin I believe that is reckless. Many types of play are dangerous but done in the hands of a Dom who knows what they are doing it will be done correctly and safely considering the activity. However, a Dom who demands gifts and monetary gains gives the power up to the sub by making them chose what to give or how much to give. This is truly selfish and I condemn it with everything within me.
I will say that I can see ways in which this can be done safely and with care...but that is only if the sub has unlimited funds or if the Dom will actually make sure to only take so much as to not destroy their sub financially. However this is RARE. Not only that, but if something happens and the sub needs more money for say...a new car because of an accident...they may not have the money they need to take care of that and their normal bills. Then they fall behind because they rather fall behind than upset their Master/Mistress. They continue this trend until it destroys their credit rating, puts them in debt and leaves them with nothing. Since the Dom in question is no longer receiving funds, the sub also loses that as well.
If you are one of the Doms who believes in financial domination but makes sure their sub is financially sound so they do not do this, I applaud you for taking something that can be so dangrous and doing it safely and with sanity. Everyone else who follows this trend but does not care, get a life and a job. You give the lifestyle a bad name but taking something beautiful and sullying it with your irresponsibility. You are a detriment to the lifestyle and will never be anything more.
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Lately I have been pondering the topic of mental conditioning and how it relates to the lifestyle. I have studied psychology in my spare time since I was about 15 and even though I am far from a psych major I am somewhat knowledgeable on the subject.
The positive things that can be gained from it is absolutely wonderful. Things such as training your sub to only cum for you and no one else. Making it so she can only orgasm with your consent...or on a command word. And even further is the ability to train a sub to cum on command, regardless of anything else.
In my opinion, this is the most powerful kind of domination when you can actually effect the mental and physical states of their body. How you can implant such a little thing in to their mind through repetition, rewards and punishment. This can be very rewarding...but only if the sub wishes to learn these things.
There are cases of people being programmed without their consent and there is nothing more despicable than to change the way someones mind works without them being a part of the process.
However, when a Dom and their sub work together towards a common goal of training it can be a very satisfying and fulfilling experience. In the end, both are filled with a sense of accomplishment, contentment and it is something that can be enjoyed for many many years.
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It is funny how quickly your life can change. If you asked me a month ago what the single greatest change in my life was my answer would have been something completely different. However, this...is something so much greater.
My entire life I had felt odd...off.... I struggled trying to figure out what about me was not quite right. I never felt fully comfortable in my skin...and yet now I am finally understanding.
I never understood who I am because I was not looking in the right place. I had buried a part of my personality that society had deemed incorrect. I buried it so deep that until I met my mentor. Through the discussions that followed I came to the conclusion that my entire life I had dominant tendencies. Without this part of my personality I was not complete.
And here I am. Now I simply need to learn more. To practice the things I need to. If anyone has any advice I would be most gracious.
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| Age: 18 |
| Hidden,
United Kingdom |
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