Scammers

I do not get many inquiries.  However, lately it seems that I only get contacted by scammers. One clue is that they always ask me right away to contact them at a separate email address. Another is that they usually have a poor command of the English language. And yet another clue is that they are usually not responsive to my questions. That is the last thing you want to do with me if you want to build trust with me because communication is very important to this Master.

Sure enough requests for money have been involved, and of course they want me to wire cash, which I will not send to a stranger. The last one was clearly unprepared for my offer to hire a private investigator to do a background check on her and to have the money held in escrow by an attorney who would verify her story first before then speaking with me to provide clearance to release the money, which was supposedly for expenses to travel to see me.

When they come on strong too soon with a sex encounter description, I begin to wonder if they are really men acting as women. Who knows? In all cases, it was clear that they did not read my profile, or care about the info in my profile, which does not impress me, if they truly wish to gain my favor. I guess they are hoping for someone who is less intelligent or less savvy. Please people, do not waste my time if you are not sincere.  It would be a shame to become jaded with collarme.com but I am sure there are others here who feel the same way, but for other reasons.

Why I don’t like smoking:

• The smoke is irritating to others as well as myself.
• It will make you stink – your breath, clothes, car, house, etc.
• It is selfish. As a couple, your health has bearing on me. If you live a shorter life than necessary, then I am left alone.  If you get sick more often because it lowered your immunity, then I feel awful because I love you.  If you are lying in a hospital bed with lung cancer and I am dutifully there holding your hand, you have caused unnecessary heartache. If we are one, it is not like you are independent and separate.
• I want to feel close to my loved one. It is hard for me to feel really close to someone who feels really different from me in values such as taking care of personal health.
• It is very expensive and a drain on our budget. As a couple, you cannot think that your financial expenses have no impact on us as a team. In some cases, it contributes to keeping the low income nicotine addicts poor.
• It is a fire hazard and causes damage when the cig drops occasionally, not to mention build-up on the walls.
• It is an enivironmental pollutant, not just the smoke but the cig butts on the ground. I don't think the tobacco farming is great for the land either.
• The industry is self-interested and deceitful.  The industry does not treat many of its workers well. I don't buy the argument that it is good for the economy.  
• The strongest way to vote is with your money. When you buy cigs, you are saying yes to supporting the tobacco industry and all the harm it does.
• You look like an idiot with smoke coming out your nose and standing there trying to look cool while flicking ashes on the ground
• It is an addiction and does not impress me that you are enlightened and able to handle stress well
• You are modeling a behavior that the next generation will imitate. The promotion caused by your personal unintentional marketing overpowers the effect of ad campaigns trying to discourage use by kids.
• You impose an economic impact on society that you may not have considered, such as rising collective healthcare costs, as a result of insurance paying for your additional load of problems.

I don't require my slave to be vegan. Vegetarian is ok. But no meat will be allowed in the house. I expect a lot from someone who I will be "at one" with, such as a wife.  It is hard for me to "feel really close" to someone who "feels really different" from me.  I consider the animal agriculture industry to be the worst evil on the face of the earth and sharing that perspective with my slave would move us closer to emotional intimacy.  I don't want to have to make excuses for why my tightly coupled partner is not "on board" with me.  It is hard for me to reconcile being really spiritual and not feeling strongly about doing everything possible to advocate against the slaughter and oppression of these fellow living beings who are vulnerable and crying as best they can for help. I had a falling out with the Ethical Society about this.

Issue: You are not available, but show up in my searches

I did a search for women who were self-listed as slaves, looking for dominant men and were relocatable.  I wish the results did not include women who “just want to be friends”, those who simply want to announce that they are collared and no longer available, and those who have decided not to continue looking because they are busy, overwhelmed, discouraged or for whatever other reason.  I am not saying I can't handle it, but there should be a different parking lot for this bunch, and that could begin with “unchecking” the profile box that says that they are currently relocatable.   It is a pet peeve to have to deal with wading through all of this.  The only way to prevent it I think is to have a gatekeeper who approves of all postings, but that is not a good idea because then we would lose the immediacy of the process. And who would want to serve as the regulatory police that slaps people on the wrist for not being considerate.

 Children

I feel that a man should not father children unless he has a hunger to do so.  I place a strong value on taking responsibility.  In this case, I feel that a good father would devote the necessary financial resources, time and love to fully support such an undertaking.

Personally, I do not wish to be consumed by such a commitment. There are too many other things that I geniunely crave, such as paying for a graduate education and focusing my energy on completing such a program.  I would resent the sacrifice that would go into paying for a little one that I never really wanted to begin with. It would not be a wise situation to get myself into.

However, I respect the desire by others to have children. It is not for me to say that what is important to them is less important than what is important to me. The key to happiness is to find a match so that both partners can share and enjoy the experience.  A youngster is a permanent lifelong connection and that is an overwhelming decision for me. That is why I decided a long time ago to have a vasectomy. Sporting a bumper sticker that says “My child is a middle school honor student” is not in my future.

There is something else that is much more difficult for people to understand and it is a psychological reason. In psychoanalysis, there is a concept called symbiosis.  In early development, this interdependent experience is characterized by a sense of total enmeshing of mother and child.  In plain language, you might think of this as being “two peas in a pod”.  This intimacy is what I want to feel with my wife/slave.  I don’t want a third pea – even if it is all grown up and out of the home, because my wife/slave would still be drawn to want contact with her child, and I certainly would not want to interfere with their life.  I want her all for myself – I want her to think of my birthday, not others’; I want her to think of spending time with me over the holidays, not with others; I want her to think of planning things for me, not for others.  I simply don’t want to share her in that way.  

With millions of women out there, I don’t need to settle for less.  Rather than call me selfish, just think of this as a difference in desires. Everyone is selfish in the sense that they want to do what they want to do.  The key is to be aware of our fantasies and own-up to the fact that we want to fulfill them. And also to be cognizant of the fact that not everybody wants the same thing in this world and that’s ok. 

Having said all that, it does not mean I don’t like kids. Actually, they love me. It might surprise you to know that I once taught kindergarten.  However, I have a list of several hundred things I want to accomplish in my life – run a marathon, save more money for a larger home, etc.  Kids just aren’t on my to-do list. On the other hand, induced lactation is.

Issue: Gracious rejection