I have recently been continuing to have interesting conversations with a friend of mine on . Me and her were discussing the hedonism of the BDSM scene. She mentioned that I would be the odd-man out as I consider myself to be an ascetic in what would externally appear to be a hedonistic group of people. My response (slightly altered) is below:

I disagree. I think BDSM should be a balance between hedonism and asceticism. Discipline and control are major tenets of the BDSM lifestyle, and in order to discipline or control another, one must have self-discipline, and self-control. And if one wants extreme control over another, than they should be able to have extreme control over themselves. The practice of extreme self-control is practically the definition of asceticism. In fact, not even practically, it is an accurate definition of asceticism, though an incomplete one. The only thing missing is the practice of self-mortification and austerity. On that note, there are many who believe that a dominant needs to have some visceral understanding of what they are putting their submissive through. Many believe that a dominant needs to spend time as a submissive or at least a bottom to gain this understanding. Those who do not believe this will at least test implements and techniques on themselves before inflicting it on another. On some level, this fits into the definition of self-mortification. Personally, I do not believe that all dominants need to spend time as a submissive/bottom. Personally, I have enough unique physical and neurological traits, that I know that if I were to act as a bottom, the things I learned about my own responses are unlikely to transfer over to a different bottom, therefore making the effort somewhat useless. However, while my unusual responses to specific acts and sensations would be unlikely to give me any insight into how another would respond to similar stimuli, I can inflict upon myself general hardship. I can do things to myself that are difficult and/or painful, and by doing so, I can relate to those on whom I am inflicting different hardships.

On top of the discipline developed by self-denial, and the insight developed by self-mortification, the austerity (by which I mean simplicity and lack of excess) of asceticism helps one to develop humility. While humility is not normally a trait associated with dominance, I think that it is necessary at least in some small quantity for the purposes of balance. I think without humility, than dominance can go unchecked; and unchecked dominance can be a scary thing, especially as I think that humility is one of the primary differences between a good dominant and an abusive one.

So the way I see it, the BDSM scene might encourage hedonism, but philosophically, BDSM itself encourages asceticism, at least on the part of a dominant/master.