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I had an experience recently that helped me to understand how important it is for me to be entertained by sex with my partner. I suppose the subtext indicates sex with a lack of entertainment value, but that wasn't what the case. Quite the opposite. So, as clever as I might be and as interested in trying to be emotionally involved as I am attempting to be, I need kink.
I also need to be able to start forming relationships that are not strictly satisfying sexually. It is very important that I enjoy my partner as a human being. This means that platonic dynamics are key. As much as I would love to descend into a situation in which the world falls by the wayside while I play, it's unrealistic. Therefore, should this progress, I need someone who can just as easily watch a movie with me and have something intelligent to say about it as facilitate my orgasms and enjoy blow jobs.
I have primarily assumed a submissive role in sexual relationships. This has included but not been limited to being bound, spanked, whipped, choked, bitten, having my hair pulled, and having sex acts used as rewards and punishments for my behavior. I have no problem continuing with any of those acts. I would, however, like to experiment more with being the focus of the acts and not a masturbatory aid for another person. In the future, I hope to have a chance to explore orgasm control (specifically denial) and the sensation of being the only source of another person's pleasure to such a degree that it makes them intensely focused upon me and what I have to offer. Playing specific roles becomes tiresome, so it is important that a serious partner be able to operate along the spectrum rather than at one end. I am also interested in mutual masturbation.
I'm not interested in thinking of anyone as my Daddy or engaging in long term role play. I find the theatrical aspects of BDSM boring and predictable. I am also not interested in being part of a poly relationship. I'm not emotionally well equipped enough to deal with the drama.
In the best possible circumstances, you will be able to approach me as a person (via email and AIM) and your sexual needs will slowly be shared in order to keep me fascinated. Please don't dump it all in my lap at once. I want to be able to explore over time. Should I feel that we might be a good match phone calls and visits will likely occur.
It is important that you know that I have herpes. I have not had an outbreak in years and take medication in order to further reduce chances of transmission. The likelihood of passing it along often feels quite slim, but that is your decision. Should we engage in activities that don't involve my potentially scary vagina, you are all kinds of safe.
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