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Read the profile.
I wrote it for a reason.
In order to eliminate a lot of unnecessary correspondence, I’ve written my profile as specific and detailed as possible. About Me: I am 32 years old. I am a short woman (5’2"). I am overweight. I run right straight down the middle of the road politically. I am not a "devout" anything when it comes to religion, but I do sway toward Native American wind worship and I am fond of the Baha’i faith. I’m a mother. I work from home. I’m college educated. I’m a smoker. I have cats. I’m not wealthy. I really have no interest in sex, eroticism, and sensual play. There is very little privacy in my home.
My views/expectations in the lifestyle: Everyone has their own definitions of "the lifestyle", and there are numerous, numerous, different "lifestyles" that fall under the BDSM umbrella. So that you will have a general understanding of my preferences in this broad subculture, here are some of the "lifestyles" I do and do not participate in: I DO:
- I am the Dominant. My "partners" are either my submissives or my slaves. (If I am listed as a Switch in the search engine, it is because I needed a break from the emails.)
- I believe in poly, and I insist upon exclusivity among those involved in the poly relationship.
- I define "cheating" as anything that is dishonest (lying, withholding of information, etc..)
- I want NOTHING to do with someone whose spouse is not as equally involved with me.
- I like the Victorian/Edwardian models of the lifestyle, and hope to someday learn enough about them that I could run my household that way.
- I believe in 24/7.
- I am "out of the closet" and prefer the same in my subs, and require it in my slaves.
- I believe in "Old School" (as opposed to "Old Guard") D/s. There should be certain levels of protocol.
- I believe that Dominants are not there to meet the needs/desires of their submissives, but vice-versa. submissives are there to meet the needs/desires of the Dominant.
- The collar has deep meaning to me.
- This lifestyle I lead is NOT about sex, fetishes, kinks, or play. It is about power exchange, mental bondage, ownership, subservience, and dedication.
- I do play, just not very often.
- What a sub gets, is earned. What a slave gets, is not only earned, but also a privilege.
- I don’t cook, but otherwise, I’m not opposed to getting off my domly ass and helping out. Just don’t expect it all the time.
- The sub/slave is there for the Dom. Not vice-versa.
- I believe in giving my submissives/slaves assignments and lessons. I believe in daily journaling.
- Communication is essential to and from both sides of the fence.
- I believe in contracts.
- I’m strongly into symbolism.
I Do NOT:
- I do not adhere to the belief of Female Supremacy, nor do I adhere to the belief of Male Supremacy. I believe that both sexes are a balance for one another, like the two wings of a bird. However, I am not opposed to male subs/slaves who do believe in Female Supremacy.
- Online relationships are totally out of the question. I’d rather date my toaster than my computer.
- I do not believe in living vicariously through others and I want nothing to do with someone who is going to try to live vicariously through me.
- I do not adhere to SSC because it is too relative and subjective.
- I’m not Gorean.
- I don’t believe that someone is an authority or has a more valuable perspective because they do demos or wrote a book or held a seminar or ran a munch group or puts out a newsletter or moderates a forum or holds a job that is lifestyle related or have a familiar name in the BDSM community, or they won a leather award, or whatever else puts them on an illusionary pedastool. Their opinion is no more or less valuable to me than Alfred the janitor’s.
- I’m not a Swinger.
- I don’t believe in "part time" subs.
- I don’t want a cuckold.
What I do NOT want (a.k.a. My hard limits):
My hard limits are both particular kinds of lifestylists, and particular activities in the lifestyle. I’m not in any way saying these people are "bad" or "wrong", I’m simply saying that these are folks whom I do not have room for in my life, and I will not respond to if they message me.
- Forced Fem, Sissymaids (and any other sissies), TV/TG/CD
- Strap-on play, electric play, scat, golden showers, queening, body worship (foot worship is ok!)
- SAMS or sassy subs, "Do me" subs, bottoms
- "subs" who are too caught up in their own fetishes to concentrate on subservience and service
- married, but looking (unless spouse is also involved in the search)
- gamblers, drug users, hippies, drinkers (cigarette and cigar smokers are more than welcome)
- fantasy & stereotype oriented subs (If you still think a Dominatrix is a 6 foot tall model in a cat suit with a crop in one hand and a leash in the other…. don’t message me.)
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