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| Greetings Gentlemen!
And yes, I seek only gentlemen. If you do not know how to properly treat a lady, or are unwilling to learn, please move on.
I am a mature, educated, professional woman. I have around 20 years of experience within the BDSM lifestyle. Hopefully, this means I have valuable insights to share.
I am not a leather clad fantasy Domme (though i love being clad in leather!) So if that is the fantasy you seek, you probably have reached the wrong profile. However....
If you are a gentleman who wishes to care for and spoil me, we have a potential match. I would love to lead you, directing every move, making your choices for you, respecting your limits at the same time.
If you have an interest in serving a real women within the framework of a loving relationship, knowing that you will be treasured for your service and obedience then drop me a line. All respectful correspondence will be answered.
Total honesty and faithfulness are required. if you cannot provide those qualities, please continue onward as they are hard limits, non negotiable.
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While i have been busy with vanilla concerns, i still seek the right match. i believe i know more about who he is than ever before. This makes it easier to sort through the hopefuls. While i am a mature woman, i am not interested in being anyone's mother, worse yet, grandmother!
Thus if you are a youngster (arbitrary cut off of 45 years old) you need to seek another.
Alright, then. You are a mature gentleman. You know how to treat a lady. You are romantic at heart and love to spoil your lady friend. You are a classic gentleman in the old school sense, with one possible exception. You are not a leader. You prefer to transfer your strength and power to another. You love to defer to your female counterpart.
When it comes right down to it, you view her as your superior and are driven to obey her...to please her. Your integrity is beyond reproach. You do not lie or cheat in anything in your life. You are an honorable, moral person. You just need someone to take control.
Before we progress further, let us talk about money. Yes, a taboo subject. However important to get out of the way up front. While i am not a Findomme, it does cost money to properly woo and please me. So, if you are broke and the idea of paying for dinner, perhaps flowers and maybe a movie is off putting, move on.
i expect you to willingly carry the financial responsibility of this relationship. That being said, i own my own place and my own vehicle. i do not seek your support for anything in my life. This does not mean i do not appreciate tribute and or gifts from the man who serves me.
If this bothers you in some way, then all i can suggest is that you look for someone else who is more interested in a "equal & fair" relationship. This relationship would be financially one sided. You are the spoiler and i, the spoilee. |
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Preliminary period/ Trial Period.
Some call it negotiation. I am not partial to that expression in this regard as it denotes concessions on both ends. I believe it is an important period of getting to know one another. It is a time for establishing communications and defining expectations. Should there be some flexibility, of course. Are there some adjustments to be made on both ends, naturally. But if this period turns to a time of full on concessions for either party, then my guess is it is not the right match to begin with.
I think of this period of one where we get to know one another, learn each other's style, as it were. And yes, it is the time to determine if there are any deal breakers. It is best to do one's homework now, and find out these things before commitments have been made.
It is somewhat of a trial period. While the bonds have not been made official, and there is a temporary aspect to the interactions, at the same time it gives both parties an opportunity to function "as if". Often times this will uncover some truths about yourself and the "other" you had not anticipated.
While, on face value, this may seem like a waste of valuable time, it is exactly the opposite. It can save you from much pain and stress down the line. So, whatever you choose to call it, embrace this period. Enjoy the trip it can take you on! |
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What is most important to you?
This question comes up over and over in a D/s relationship. Is it the D's wishes/judgment or the s's. The easy answer is that it is the D's. But how realistic is that? Are there exceptions to this rule? Are they universal or are they personally specific? Is this a hard and fast line that cannot be crossed, or is there flexibility?
If the s feels like his personal judgment is so much better than the D's, has he chosen the wrong D? Assuming a non life-threatening circumstance, is it worth it for the s to over ride the D's direct order, based on his belief of his better judgment?
When complete communication over the matter does not obtain the s's preferred result, what should happen? If the s, still cannot comply what should he do? Just defy? or perhaps beg release?
Jot me a short essay with your thoughts on the above. |
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Another false start. This time, i believe the boi to have genuine good intent. However, once my directive was not to his liking, he could not obey. Best to find these things early on. After all, it is not saying much if you only obey if the directive is to your liking. This is one of the basics in a lifestyle relationship. Within a submissive person's bounds, they submit to the will of the Dominant. If you are not ready to do that why are you professing to be in this lifestyle to begin with?
If you wish to call the shots... you are just not a submissive. |
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A note to the married bois out there. Please stop contacting me. Whether you recognize it or not, you belong to someone already. You are choosing to circumvent that ownership. I am not here to chastise you about that. it is between you and your owner. Your service commitment is to her not me. I have but one exception to this. If you are separated (in all senses) for more than 5 years, but without the benefit of "papers" then you may, indeed contact me.
That being said, i find the ones who are married and say they are totally trustworthy, yet seek discretion as their wife must not find out...... the most interesting of all. You will lie, either outright or by omission, to the one you have made a life long commitment with but will be totally honest with me? A basic lack of character, it seems. |
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an excerpt (sorta) from email:
When you relocate it will be to your own place within a short distance from mine. You will be at my beck and call, day and night. i will have keys and access to your home...not vice versa. You will take me out to dinner, movies, plays, events at least three times per week. You will behave as a perfect gentleman. You will escort me to family events and behave in a perfectly delightful "male" fashion.You will be a sociable partner. You will play board games with me and my friends. You will shop, prepare meals and clean both my home and yours.
You will treat me as your queen at all times, but will go out of your way to present yourself as masculine as possible. I will control everything about you. You will not even leave your house without telling me of your plan and getting it approved. If you cannot get approval you will not go out (unless it is a dire emergency).
You may have friends and may socialize with them, but only once they have been approved by me... and only if i don't require you elsewhere. If you need to work (and you will need funds to properly care for me) i will allow you to do so. Your work must not in anyway supercede or conflict with any of my desires. You will work anything out, like that, making me your priority.
Sexually, i may play with you or not. You may not take other sexual partners, period. You will be my property and thus, not entltled to give yourself to anyone else. I may never allow this to you, or i may make it a regular occurrance. Be prepared for either based on my whim.
So, this is a brief introduction to what your life will be like with me. What do you think? |
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Time is a catch 22. We curse it yet, there is never enough! Go figure...We all want more, but it is the one constant. Every day..24 hours. The question is how do We utilize them. As soon as i have some, We can spend some!!!
Time is not an enemy...it is your partner as you move through your chunk of this particular existence. |
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It is interesting that so many proclaim they are eager to submit... then when given a simple assignment, just don't do it. Instead they tell me other things...things they would rather do ...or in what manner they would prefer to do it.
What is so difficult about answering a question? I guess it is impossible if you are so busy putting forth your own agenda that you cannot recognize the simplest of directions.
Here is a tip bois... If you want to submit it might be a good idea to pay attention to the Dominant you are with. Try satisfying her requests in the manner she requests them. You might be extremely pleasantly surprised.
This is a core element of the D/s lifestyle. If you cannot do this much from the beginning you have proven yourself unworthy of her Dominance.
If you have your own agenda. If you have certain activities you want..in certain ways...if you want to determine the interchange... then you know what... You are NOT submissive. Perhaps you want to be in the bottom role, but that isn't submitting. Submitting means you march to the Dominants tune.
I once heard a wise Dominant tell His submissive... "If We are not on the same page, then you are on the wrong page. Get where you belong."
i hope you took notes... LOL |
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No more! i am way too accomodating. Not gonna happen again. |
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The saga continues.... Now He calls me by phone (with no permission to do so) and leaves a message...acting all innocent. He has obeyed now....once i pulled the plug on him! Still he thinks he can top me from the bottom. smh |
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So, I have spent alot of time with a boi here. I thought he had great potential. But he displayed the one quality I cannot and will not tolerate. He is disobedient! Repeatedly he disobeyed me. He tried to top me from the bottom. I was forced to go to very ugly places with him to put him in his place. Seriously, I hate doing that. I love a Man that knows His place and performs in an obedient fashion without being constantly punished.
Eventually I gave up on him. i banned him from contact for months. Finally i released the ban. Naturally he was in my box immediately, begging for another chance..swearing he had learned his lessons. I agreed to give him a chance. I even adjusted some of my techniques to suit him. What a mistake!!!!!!
He is a disobedient slut! He is, to me, totally worthless. Once again I have banned him. I will not waver again. To him I can only say "fuck you, boi"
To others i say... If you do not wish to obey then why are you here? Do not enter my box as i have no use for a disobedient game player. |
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You would think I would have heard it all by now. However my emails still surprise me from time to time.
This time it is from a first time self described male submissive. He sends a one liner that is rude, insulting and vulgar.
Now my big question is...why? What does he gain from this?. Clearly it is not going to impress me in a positive way. It earned him an immediate block. What is the point.
Perhaps he wanted to make it into my journal. Mission accomplished. LOL. |
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And so it continues....
A supposed submissive contacts me. i outline my requirements. he ignores that and gives me his desire. i remind him of the directive i have given him. he continues to explain what he desires. i tell him to either follow my directive or to move on. He responds with a disrespectful vulgar message.
Is he submissive at all? he is on his own wave length attempting to define my program to me! When he does not get his way he turns ugly.
This is a lifestyle based on consent. If you do not like my program, politely say so and move on. Do not expect me to throw it out and do it your way...unless of course you are my Dominant! LOL.
What ever happened to basic manners? Why attack someone with rudeness and vulgarity because they choose a different path then you do? Do you wish to be attacked for your choices?
Do what i tell you or don't... your choice. But don't expect me to follow your program and certainly take your rude, disrespectful ways elsewhere. |
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An excerpt from a recent email:
"Most submissives are not even allowed to speak to me without making occasional paypal tribute. (now: MiztressZee at the yahoo place) Does that mean i am a user and a thief? I use this as a way to determine if they are really serious or just cyber players. It weeds out those that do not wish to make a real commitment. If they are willing to part with even a few dollars on a regular basis, it gives them more credibility. If they really wish to care for me, why would they mind depositing a gift into my account?"
When a submissive tributes, he is happily gifting someone they cares for... it is an example how the financial aspect of D/s is not necessarily "bad" or 'destructive".
It is rather, a concrete way that he can display his appreciation for her. It is not for services rendered (that is a proDomme relationship). It is rather s gift given of one's heart. If you do not wish to give a gift, then don't.
However, my suggestion is you look farther until you find someone you are happy to shower with gifts. |
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If i tell you what to do, do it. If you can't for some good reason, tell me. i will decide what to do..to change the request or alter it..or not. Once i have reviewed your request i will give you a clear response. Now then, do as you are told.
If you do not wish to obey, or can't...that's cool. Just move on. You have put the issue into my hands..i have made a decision. If you choose an alternate it means you do not honor my decision making. That being the case, I am not the right One for you.
The initial criteria for serving me is your obedience. It isn't always easy. |
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