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Let me first start by saying, for those who cannot read well, that I have a DOM. I am not interested in anyone.
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Hey guys, this is a shameless plug journal entry. Please bear with me, I'm a little short on cash so I'm advertising.
I make money in one major way, I sell things. On ebay, on cafepress, and on adult sites.
For collarme, my cafepress and my adult listings are more acceptable.
I market a few items on cafepress that fit the BDSM spirit. I found I couldn't locate any items of clothing that carried a discreet D/s message. I saw a lot of outrageous clothes that you would get fired for wearing, but nothing that was more low key. So I made my own...
www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
And in the more adult arena, I sell used initimate items like socks, underwear, etc on an a site which is essentially ebay for adults. If you're interested in used imtimates from me, please message me and I'll give you a link to that site.
If you have 5$ to spend, why not just...er...give it to me? I could really use the money.
Alright, shameless plug over, thanks everyone for reading!
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So, it's been a bit since I posted, but I have a question that's been poking me in head for a while, and I need to ponder it out somewhere.
I hate my Dom's ex girlfriend. And I mean I really loathe her. I want her to suffer for what she did to him. No girl should get away with treating anyone that way, she's a cruel manipulative bitch and she makes me so grumpy! But then again, I'm a manipulative bitch too when I'm tired of being fuzzy and cute, and I'm better at it than her. I know what to say to make her angry, and I do it all the time.
"I need to loose a little weight."-When she's a beast compared to me.
"My braces have never been a problem. I can always satisfy him, sometimes more than once or twice or three times..."-When she indicated that because of my braces, I would be unable to blow him. She never did.
And generally lounging on my Dom when she's about.
It's mean, but it's deserved. She should stop hitting on him. He's mine and she needs to go away. I'm more loving, prettier, funnier, and generally a better person than she is so BLAAAGH she can just disappear and go harass another boy.
Okay, sorry, getting that out, and getting down to the question in my head.
I'm not jealous. I should be jealous, but I'm not. I just hate her for what she did to him, I don't hate or care that she slept with him. I should...but I don't.
Maybe it's because she never satisfied him. He never orgasmed the one time they had sex. He says it's the condom, I say it's her. She never blew him or anything, she never pleased him sexually. And I do, I do many times a day.
Is that why? Is it because I've already proven myself to be better? Or is it because he's mine now, and I know that. Or, maybe, just maybe, am I not a jealous person?
These thoughts pester me, I wish I had more insight.
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Hum, it's high time for me to write a journal entry. This one is just my mind running a bit rampant as I contemplate my brattyness.
A recent Good sub vs. Brat topic was made in the message boards. It seems to be about 50/50 with the Dom's who prefer which type. I don't see why a sub can't be both. As such a difference is made, I am forced to contemplate my own position again and wonder if I would be a brat in a D/s relationship.
I know that I act out right now because I am not getting any dominance. I will flirt outrageously, pinch, bite, and scratch the boys I know who might go Dom just to see if I can goad them into it. I crave being Dominated, and no one attempts it so I am forced to remain bratty.
I am forced to come to this conclusion...
I am a sub at heart and I crave complete ownership and Dominance from someone who would love and care for me and hurt me in all of the right ways. As such, it is unlikely that, in the event that this Dom was giving me everything I need, I would ever feel the need to 'act out.' And when I say act out, I mean doing all of the things I mentioned doing above.
I am also not a doormat though and I have a very bright personality. I'm spunky and fun and I can possibly see some of my actions being considered acting out when I am in fact just trying to be funny.
I would never ignore a direct command. If my Dom told me "Sit in the corner for an hour." I'd go and do it regardless of my opinion on the matter. But it is also likely that I would, oh, pull on my master's hair when he's being deliberately obtuse.
I guess I'm a good sub with a flair for trouble. A sub with a kick, if you will.
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