Life has been good,  after long searching, a second boy to train.  School has eaten my life this past fall and am getting back to it.

So now it has happened.  You get one girl and other girls just start popping out of the wood work.  Now I've attracted a lovely heavy bottom girl.  Dam she is hot and can take alot of punishment.  Which works wonders to keep the other girl in line.  Still looking for a beautiful submissive boy.  He needs to have stanima and lots of it.  For long nights of servicing me and my harem of girls!  Would like a bi or bi curious to suck my boys cock while I sit on his face!

On vacation.  Be back in probably two months.  Hope to meet some of the people that I've been talking to.

Almost ready to hit the road.  I can't wait to ride through the red woods!  Remember when fighting bulls not take it by the horns.  Use the ring.

Since I've been out....I'm pleased to announce that Midnight Rose had her foal.  Today, Arctic is three weeks old and is going to make an excellent stud!  Check my pictures he is 30 minutes old.  After sleeping in shifts to watch the foal being born, both my boy and I slept through it! 

I read and article about Ann Rice yesterday.  It seems our Lady of the Night is devoting the rest of her time on earth to writing stories about Jesus.  So I guess that is isn't to far off for her since she is the mistress of eternal night life.  She is just switching to eternal life. 

If you always do as you have always done, then you will always get what you have always got.

Pattern breaking is an ugly beast to handle.  As a horse tranier I encounter lots of horses with people problems.

Usually problems occur due to lack of understanding or communication, unclear wants and desires.

A poem written by Lao-tzu.  Book of the way.
The Master keeps her mind
always at one with the Tao,
that is what gives her her radiance.

The Tao is ungraspable.
How can her mind be at one with it?
Because she doesn't cling to ideas.

The Tao is dark and unfathomable.
How can it make her radiant?
Because she lets it.

Since before time and space were,
the Tao is.
It is beyond is and is not.
How do I know this is true?
I look inside myself and see.

I've been pondering the Secrets of Happiness.

Scholars have thought about this for centries. 

Do yo know when your happy? 

Most of us assume that our desires (backed up by our emotional feelings) are the true guides to doing the things that will make us happy.  But no one has yet found happiness by using emotional backed desires as guides.  Flashes of pleasure, yes; happiness , no.

Our wants and desires are so seductive... They masquerade as "needs" that must be satisfied so we can be happy at last.  They lead us from one illusion of happiness to another.

We often tell ourselves that if "I just find the right person to love, then I would be happy."  So we search for someone whom our addictions tell us is the right person- and we experience some pleasurable moments.  But since we don't know how to love, the relationship gradually deteriorates.  Then we decide we didn't have the right person after all!  As we grow into higher awareness, we discover that it is more important to be the right person than to find the right person.

As a mistress am I fulfilling someones desires or mine?  Does a sub/slave truly wish to be free of this tug of war?  Or does she want me to deliver her to a higher form or elightenment?  

Have you felt the total submission of your slave?  After you have made her bottom red for not fetching your slippers as soon as you walked in the door.  You paddle her as she tries to crawl away which just adds to her paddling.  Then all of a sudden, she gives in and accepts the paddle, giving in to you.  "You know what is best." she thinks and rocks her ass in rythm of the paddle, hurring to meet the burst of pain. 

Then you stop and look into her eyes and she has a shear look of rapture on her face.  You sit down in front of her and she rests her head on your lap and you stroke her sweat soaked hair.

She submitted.  Gave over to the here and now.  Accepted the paddling and truly loves you for it.

For me I get the pleasure of knowing I could help her give herself over.  That together we found a bit of heaven. 

last nights dream:


The sand storm was just sub siding.  A few dust devils lazely danced across the hot sand making for the water, towards me. I idlely watched while laying on my silken pedastal.  The strong, hot hands that were kneeding my back were replaced by small cool ones.  As she rubbed sented oil into my back I felt the edge of the iron braclet graze my skin.  I immediatley rolled over and caught her chains in my hands.  I looked into her eyes and was startled to see see the green eyes of a jaguar on the girl. 

I knew she was a gift from my Lord. 

She would be cherished, I knew the price he must have paid to get her for me.  Her training started immediately.  I felt the girls mound hot on my shin as she struggled to not loose her balance.  She arched her back to not touch me with her now juicey slit.  I held her in this percarious position and watched as she struggled with her realization of her new found bondage to me.   A slow smile spead across my face as I watched her.

  So this is how my Lord felt when he took me.  

  My eyes razed to ring hung at the top of my dias.  What a priestess she will make, one day.  "Do you know what your crime is?"  She shook her head, no.  Looking into her eyes I kissed her.  I felt how ridged her body was and jerked on her chains, forcing her belly back to my legs, and her mouth to press hard into mine.  She relaxed her body and gave and ever so slight rub of her slit on my leg, leaving a wet spot on it.

At that time, one of the dust devils collided with the barg.  It enveloped my dias and ripped the canopy off.  I closed my eyes as the wind and sand scoured my skin.  The swirl plucked at my hair.  I tossed the girl onto her back and rolled on top, straddling her hips in one motion.  I held her chains in one hand and pinned her body in to my bed.  She was strarted at my ripple of laughter and delight.

I told her one day she would be where I am now. 

I stood hauling her to her feet.  I pinned her against to post of my dias and started to spank her. She wiggled and begged me to stop.  Begged for her god to stop me.  Begged the other slaves to help her.

She started to cry.  All these people around and none to save her.  I spanked her till she had racking sobs and no longer pleaded to be saved.  Then I spun her around so that the marble could cool off her back side.  I ripped off her shift and pinched her hard nipples in my finger tips.  I looked into her red rimmed eyes.  "Your pain, himulation, anger, defiance are all for my pleasure.  One day your love, adoration, obediance and worship will be mine too.  You will see, the shame that you feel now, will be as different once you submit."  "Look at them all, they are watching us, they want to be you.  You are what they want to be."  I kissed her tenderly on the eye lids and grazed her mouth with mine.

buzt, Buzt, BUzt, BUZt, BUZT!

Dam, Tuesday ruining a good dream.  Back to Mundania, atleast till the kid is off to school.

The boy is going to be suprize when he wakes up tied to the bed and spanked.

Edshu is walking down the road wearing a hat that is colored red on one side and blue on the other side.  He gets to the the end of the road and turns around and also turns his hat around.  When the farmers in the field go into the village in the evening, they say "Did you see that god with the blue hat?" And the others say, "No, no, he had a red hat on." And they get into a fight.
The two men are brought before the king for judgement and the trickster god appears, " It's my fault, I did it, and I meant to do it.  Spreading strife is my greatest joy."

A recent epiphany or today's thought to chew on.


Freud's philosophy is that we are living on the level of sex organs (the meaning of life is centered on reproduction).  

Adlerian philosophy based on will power.  That all life is centered on ostructions and overcoming the obstructions.  Both of these forms are based on the animal level. 
Then we come to the other kind of life, which involves giving oneself to others one way or another.  The opening of the sorce of life.

Through out history humans have set themselves on the "holy grail quest" that the fountain of life is external or seperate.  Some find the grail while others don't.

What if the symbols of a religious system are called metaphors instead of facts.  What revelations of evolution would mankind find then?

This dream has been in our subconcious for thousands of years if only the ego is set aside for just a bref moment.