There should a policy of banning racist doms on here...the types who will message women of color on here and then throw racial insults at them if she a) doesn't respond to their message b) has an opposing view on something c) declines their request to meet, talk, get involved, etc.

If you're a white man who actually doesn't view women of color as equals, please don't waste my time.

NEWSFLASH: All I require are the things I mentioned above. If anyone with brains were to break it down, they would observe that all I really request is that my dom be someone with the ability to hold a conversation on multiple topics (i.e. intelligent discourse). Yet, I still have people messaging me and the first thing they tell me is their profession or that they're "professional".

This sort of just bounces of an earlier post I made speculating as to why it is men love to talk about their social status on here.

To make myself clear, I really don't care what your profession is. I don't even care if you're a professional or not. If you message me telling me you're a professional, that tells me nothing. Seriously. I think more than a couple of you need to take the good advice of Tyler Durden, the character from the movie, Fight Club, "You're not your job. You're not the contents of your wallet." There is such a thing as having an identity outside of careerism. Trust me!

To make myself even clearer, I'll provide another quote from another movie that resonates well with me. "I don't care about his duty, social position, or what have you. There are only two things that matter: a man and a woman!"-The Count of Monte Cristo.

The overall gestalt of my message is that I am interested in you as a person. Human beings, in and of themselves, are much more profound than the profiles society tries to construct for them. I'm rarely interested in what a man "does for a living". Unless, of course, he's a serial killer. But besides that, I'm technically not one of those people who judge a person based on their job. The only thing you having a job tells me is that you did what society required you to do. Therefore, you're not that unique considering we're all caught in this mess together.

That being said, I'm interested in what makes you YOU. I'm interested in people's flaws, quirks, obsessions, what makes people feel pain, what are the questions that drive them,  why things turn them on or off, what are the mysteries they've always wanted to solve, what are the odd or shocking experiences they've had, what are the weird things they've learned about themselves, what are the moments where they woke up and realized, "crap, I'm a human being".

In short, I'm interested in your humanity. Being in a profession where you happen to make lots of money is not the equivalent of intelligence. I've met too many "professionals" from diverse backgrounds to witness that there is no serious correlation between the two.

A note to Doms: Do us all a favor. If you don't actually live in New York, then switch your fucking "city/state" status to wherever you are actually living. The whole "I was in NY a month ago" or "I'll be there in three months" does not cut it.

If you're an idiot who moves around a lot, then write in "nomad" in your profile. That way, the smartest of us subs can immediately move on to someone we can actually pinpoint on a map.

Frustration rears its ugly head here and there.

Lots and lots of fantasies about being put into a cage, left alone for a while, fucked, left alone, fucked..and the cycle repeats until my dom sees that I'm exhausted. Then, he takes me out of the cage and bathes me, nurturing me after being brutally fucked and isolated over and over.

I've realized that when I'm sexually frustrated, or when it's one of those months where I'm super horny and super lonely, my fantasies are way more brutal/aggressive than normal.

Do not fucking waste my time if your idea of getting to know one another means asking me two questions and then asking me right there on the spot whether or not I want to go into "training" right there and then. I'm not into control freaks. I'm into a particular kind of dom-sub relationship that requires sessions of getting to know one another as humans first and foremost before asking the other person to submit or dominate. I'm not into quick-fixes or let's-get-on-the-ball-right-now deal.

Also, if you can't actually explain what it is you enjoy about someone submitting to you, something is wrong with you. You're probably a psychopath without knowing it.

I give up. Maybe I make this far more difficult than it needs to be, but I just give up.

I've spent a good portion of my life attempting to be celibate. It's a difficult thing when 1) you got these insane dom/sub desires and 2) the society you live in is saturated with sex 3) all your peers keep making the argument that sexuality is a necessity for healthy human development. Maybe there is some truth to the last argument. But, I also do think there are tremendous benefits to celibacy, provided that someone goes through the process of becoming so in a creative, positive manner.

I feel I've approached trying to become celibate in a very destructive manner---by making myself feel bad if I think sexual thoughts or if my body feels excited at any given random moment by some random person I perceive dominance in. I've found that a better method is to just fully accept that these desires are around from time to time, and not to dwell on them at all, or dwell on the fact that I had X thoughts and that X thoughts are proof of my not having turned over to the celibate lifestyle yet.

I feel that, because I spent my time putting myself down whenever I wasn't purely celibate, I seriously hurt my self-esteem and made myself miserable. I've repressed a lot for a very long time. I've had dom/sub fantasies since I was in highschool--that is, clear coherent ones which screamed of the obvious fact that I got off on being controlled. I remember having vague thoughts about being submissive in elementary and Jr.high. In my high school years, I went to extreme measures to stop myself from having sexual feelings, In my third year of high school, it blew up in my face. Nonetheless, since high school, I know that deep down, I've been looking for someone to help me explore my fantasies and develop them. I guess I could say, that I've had many opportunities to do that and have never taken them. I'm compelled to think, in the end, that not satisfying these desires, which only seem to grow worse and more violent each year, has taken a serious toll on my psyche. I've been living a life of this back and forth denial and acceptance cycle that has never resolved itself. At times, I have met people who have helped me with what I thought was "fully accepting" that I was a sub. But being the complex beast that I am, I have always regressed into denial, back to wanting to be purely celibate since I have an obvious obsession with that ideal.

For a long time, I denied that I liked men. I had tried to convince myself and those around me for more than a year that I was a lesbian. I can say for sure it's been two years that I've accepted, not denied, that I am a straight woman.That is a truth I could never wriggle myself out of unfortunately. To me, for what it's worth, it signifies some progress (even though I sometimes feel a tinge of hate that I adore men in this hyper-patriarchal insane world).

My beloved friend believes I could never be celibate because of men's attraction for me (a feat he and I disagree on heavily) and because I, overall, have a passionate personality. I'm not too sure what he means by that.

The truth is, I'm probably too much of a hardcore feminist to ever want to seriously engage in dom/sub play.

Why do many doms list their careers on their profiles? Or rather, why is there a strong assumption amongst many doms that listing your career and defining yourself  as a "well-established" man with networks should make you fit more so into the "dominant" typology? Last time I checked, your financial rapsheet isn't exactly correlated strongly with your sexual desires and/or what you are capable of sexually. Sexual desire isn't correlated with class nor class ambition (i.e. having a strong desire to move up the economic ladder) Nor are all of us looking for economic pimps. Perhaps, it is the fact that many women on  here are extremely concerned about whether or not their dom is some rich dude accounts for this rather strange behavior. In that case, my advice to doms is that if you run up against such women, you can be damn sure that sexual connection or sharing desires isn't exactly her priority (or rather her only goal).

Nonetheless, it's a good laugh for me when I see corporate jerks, lawyers, scientists, etc list their career, make their financial resources clear and put up pictures of them at a business trip somewhere in Greece. I can't just laugh however. I tend to note this also as part of the psychology of many persons who typically identify as dominant. Apparently, giving off a sense of having a strong, controlling personality and tying that to middle-to-upper class lifestyle is important to these folks. In which case, I'd like to jump to the conclusion that plenty of men are not just seeking to dominate women, but also want to feel a sense of security by impressing women with their social status.