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Poison1007

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Roscoe500Bawlz
To be written soon.
1/16/2011 7:28:41 PM

I haven't written in a long time. Its actually the first time I have logged in since April of last year. I was reading my last journal entry with a smile. "Please let him be the one for me." Well the good news is.. he was. I am still with the same Dominant and completely in love with him. After the years of searching for him I am done. He found me in the end. I had to learn to stop searching and let him find me. He propsed to me about a month ago and I am getting my dream of marrying my Dominant. Life is good.

4/26/2010 11:08:23 PM

Today a new day has dawned. Please let him be right for me. I met someone and it honestly seems way to good to be true.. but he is local.. good looking.. and so dominant it makes me ache. I submit to him. He will be having control and access to this account.. I will update again soon.

4/26/2010 11:49:55 AM
A new day?

Perhaps.

I made a profile a few months ago but never got around to actually using it. I made a profile, placed a few pictures in it and then completely forgot about it. I was on my computer when I had recieved an email that I had a message from . It was from a man who actually lived in the same area as I and wished to talk further. I never usually give out my information so quickly but I gave him my screen name because I didnt know when I would actually sign on that site again. He messaged me a day later. My first impression of him was "Ugh, one of those creeps" but the more we got to speak he seemed to warm up to me. He had said to me "respond Sub / if u wish to find a master / partner im willing to consider it..." I didnt respond to that well. My sharp little tongue got the best of me.. But he laughed it off and we spoke further eventually going to the phone. It was there I think I may have gotten myself hooked.

Im a bit scared.. a bit apprehensive. He seems to be what I may be actually looking for. A close by, sucessful, good looking dominant. We have a date for drinks on Saturday night. Who knows right? Thoughts?
4/25/2010 11:22:41 AM
I have had a few weeks to mull over the past happenings. I think the best conclusion I have come to is to find local Dominants instead of this travel bull. Is there a chance I may miss out on someone special, heck yes.. but I need someone here and now. Someone I can get in my car and he is just a hop, skip and a jump away from me. Not 3000 miles away and we pine for eachother at every chance. That just depresses me everytime I think about it. Thoughts?
4/21/2010 6:36:58 PM

I met a dominant from CM over the weekend. We had been talking for months and he made a trip out to see me. He wasnt at all what I expected. The entire time he acted shady with texting and calling other females and by the end I couldnt wait for him to go home. He had no right to call himself a Master, he was only a phony and wanna be. I can do better for myself.

This last time made me want to give up. I am not sure if I can do this again and again and again and again. I open myself to trust only to be fooled. Whats the point?

Thoughts?

4/11/2010 1:23:28 PM
The search continues on.

There are some days where I typically believe I may have found a dominant worth while but they to just end up not being what I imagined for myself. Am I being to critical? Are my expectations to high?

There was a vanilla boy I extremly liked. I tried in earnest with him. After a month or so of dating I filled him in on this side of me. My submissive side. My yearning for a dominant. His response? He called me a freak and we broke up not even a week later. I come here to perhaps find like minded people.. or maybe my future Master.. but it seems like everytime I try I come out empty handed.

I shy away easily. I can be timid. I can be so passionate it hurts. The moment someone screws me over though.. I turn numb. I turn off every ounce of feeling I may have. I suppose its a defense mechanism for coping. Some people turn to drugs and alchol.. I turn off my feelings.

This is one of the most honest journal entries I have written. For those who actually take the time out to read my profile.. I would like for responses.
12/18/2009 8:59:24 PM

Recently I got an email claiming my journals are too negative and I should put the positive things I get down in emails instead. So here it goes.

....
....
.....
......

There are none! Yet. I can't say I am a total pessimist but from the lord above I get the weirdest, most annoying and aggravating messages. Out of the 50 I may get a day maybe 2 or 3 look slightly promising. And out of those 3 maybe 1 will get my information out of collarme. Currently there isnt anyone serious in my life but god knows I would like there to be. I honestly down in my heart of hearts want to give up my submission to someone. I want to be able to get down on my knees, wear a dainty little collar and call a man my Master. Am I a freak? Maybe.

-Starts to sing in the tune of some day my prince will come changing the words-

...Some day my Master will come..

12/14/2009 8:24:07 PM
So..

I want to know the deal is with people on here asking me to move in within the first email..?

NO. I will not move in with you and chances are I won't write you back.

Also..

If you write me one of those generic copy and paste deals where you tell me your whole life story that looks to be about three pages long I will only scan through it. I know you send it to every single female.. or male.. that you may be interested in. Be a little more creative! And don't just ask me to be your fuck toy! Chances are I will DENY you.

To me the lifestyle is more of a emotional than a physical aspect. Of course I love play time.. but Im not going to submit to just anyone. Submission is a gift and I am looking for that special someone to give myself to.. my mind, body and soul.

SO..

If you are out there, message me!
12/6/2009 9:53:37 AM
UGH.

Sometimes I get fed up with the search. I have met so many men that are gross, unintelligent, and down right rude. I am NOT, I repeat, am NOT, looking for just play time with some of you sickos nor am I looking for poly houses. Its just not for me. I want a real man who wants one on one and to create a long term relationship that has potential.

kthx.
fish7
 
 Age: 24
 Midwest, Oklahoma