Someone asked me recently why I was a Dom, and why I felt like I needed to Dom. Its an interesting question and needed a honest answer.

I needed to look back and ask why was I Dom and when did it start. For me anyway, Dominance started early, and didn’t incorporate sex until later when I became sexually active.

Being a Dom, in my mind, means that you want to be the best at what you do. It means you have the confidence to lead and to accomplish the task at hand. It’s being driven and stubborn. I was this way since I can remember. I want to be the best at what I do. . . ANYTHING I do. I have the confidence to go for what I want and the determination to complete the task.

This translates into my relationships, and especially my sexual ones. I know what I want and how to do it. I want to take a playmate or sub to the highest possible level and I want them to have the ability to follow my lead without question or fear. This isn’t easy. It takes confidence from the sub to have complete confidence in me. My Dominance should be comforting and unsettling in all ways.

Why I am a Dom sexually in because it’s who I am in all aspects of my everyday life.  And sexually, it’s like, to use the parlance of our time, a vampire! Let’s not get carried away here! What I mean is that sexually I feel a STRONG desire to feed! I need something inside me satisfied. Something that only Domming someone worthy gives me. If you rather, like a Zombie needing brains! Or even better, a fat kid to cake! It’s something that wells up inside me and I need to fulfill it or the world just isn’t right.

I’ve met several subs and had a collared sub who was very much my counterpart. She felt very similar in her need to serve and sub. We understood each other well. In the words of the brilliant Shell Silverstein, She was my “missing piece.” But it took someone who understood the blood lust to understand me and my need to Dom and to be in control.

In short it is a compulsion, a need, and a desire in one. Domming someone can take many forms and be in many facets of your life. From running a business, to competing in life, to sexual adventures, Domming is WHO I am and not what I do.

This by no means gives a Dom a ticket to be an asshole or an overbearing jerk. I’m always hyper sensitive about my actions and how they are perceived because I am a presence. I think most true Doms would attest to the fact that you go out of your way to be nice, but on your own terms. Confidence can most always be a doubled edged sword.

Brains. . . I want your  brains!

I’ve been troubled lately. A growing trend has started to infringe upon my thoughts and actions not as a human being, but as a Dominant man.

Now, I’m not sure if this growing social problem has always been there, or if its problematic towards more recent trends. Either way, its here and its driving me crazy!

I’ll try and be as scientific as I can about this problem.  I know my fellow kinky peeps will appreciate the thought provoking academic sociological analysis of this growing social dilemma.  So, let’s put our thinking caps on , and lock onto the PC viewer!

GUYS DON’T CRY AND GIRLS DON’T FART! That’s it! The social problem is one of men who like they need to be as emotionally secure as 18yo EMo girl trying to find her way. Now, let’s not dwell, this is about the guys. If you are in fact a 18yo Emo girls trying to find her way I apologize ahead of time and would like to add. . . I like your eyeliner.

But this about men! Men shouldn’t identify with a woman in any sort of emotional fashion. But I digress. What we are seeing is men who feel the need and openness to come off as emotional. The pout, they sulk, they give puppy dog  eyes, and what’s worse yet, they cry!

“What’s wrong with that Dr. Opposum,” you ask? Aren’t men and women supposed to be more emotionally liberated in this modern age? I answer this an emphatic YES! Yes we are as a cognitive and collective species absolutely freer to express ourselves! Can you say KINKY WEBSITE? And this should be fostered in all ways that promote a healthy wellbeing.

BUT, that is not the crux of my proverbial BEEF with society. Men no longer act like men. Men in general, are starting to lean more toward the middle and even sway toward women. They are mirroring the emotions of the opposite sex as if to say, “I quit.” The days of the tough guy that only cry’s when he hears the song Desperado are slipping by.  Men, since the dawn of time are stoic. They show emotions through actions. Their emotions are tied to things like hunting, eating, and sex. (However you want to define hunting, it doesn’t have to mean hanging out in flannel, drinking beer and skinning dead things) The days of our fathers have passed and we are left looking at women with penises.  Guys who wear more make-up than our older sisters getting ready to sneak out of her bedroom window for a night of lascivious living! They are boys in skinny jeans! For gawds sake people, SKINNY JEANS!

OK, the diatribe about fashion is a bit shallow and some of you ladies and gentlemen might like your fellas looking like 14 yo boys their entire life. Again, I digress. What I mean is that men need to be men. They need to be problem solvers. (and if there’s no problem to solve, create one for the sole purpose of solving it! ) They need to build and destroy things. They need to be masculine and confident. They need to simply be MEN. And, Men don’t cry. Just like girls don’t fart.

Obviously there is a reality in where men do in fact cry when bad things happen or what have you. Just like girls do in fact have gaseous build up in their bodies that need releasing. But, girls by in large will not do this in front of men.  I personally know woman who have” held in” since 1985, for fear of not being lady like!! Likewise, a man doesn’t shed a tear in front of his lass. She needs to know he has it together. She needs to know that when all else fails and the world is crashing around you he is standing there with a unconcerned look in his eye because he knows it’s gonna be alright. She draws off this. It gives her strength and hope. Imagine a terrible calamity and looking over at your guy and he’s rolled up in the fetal position, thumb inserted into mouth, weeping uncontrollably! Not good!

Supposing the woman as well is a woman and not a drunken sailor. The man meets her and no matter what part of the world had been shitting on him and kicking him repeatedly in the genitalia, her nurturing ways give him the sense that everything is going to be alright. The same scenario applies. The world is going to shit and the man has spent all day saving the world and fighting crime and generally being a BAMF! He comes home to a women who is devoid of any “sugar and spice and everything nice”, it crushes him!

This is in reference to men, Dom, men, or men who think they’re, Dom, or want to be Dom. Being a man means something. It means you have a responsibility to be a superhero to your lovers or playmates. You don’t have to be an insensitive asshole, rather the opposite. You can be sensitive and kind and open even in the most hardened forms of manhood. But hat doesn’t mean that you cry when things get a little dicey. You don’t fall apart when life gets a little tough. SUCK IT UP MEN! Be men….and for gawds sake, don’t cry.

On this sight and many like it, the problem isn’t so much of the feminine guys. That’s a niche all unto itself and that’s fine and good and do what you do, who am to judge, yada, yada, yada.

Now go save the world!