What it Really means if You’ve Been Ghosted, Dumped, Unfriended, or Blocked
~Via Victoria Fedden on Jun 8, 2017

Human beings are wired for connection.

We want to be accepted, loved, and validated. We seek relationships with one another yet, in our current society, it can seem as though we’re doing everything possible to impede these connections.

So many of us hide behind the false security of social media, pursuing likes and followers to reassure us that we are safe, lovable, and desired. We block, hide, and unfriend people who disagree with us, banishing them from our reality without taking the time to communicate.

If our real-life, interpersonal interactions become complicated, we vanish like ghosts, because we believe that’s easier.

But, what happens when we find ourselves on the other end of the equation? For many of us, the rejection can be devastating. We feel humiliated when, for whatever reason, someone no longer wants us in his or her life. The isolation of being “ghosted,” dumped, unfriended, or blocked is painful. The sting of being shunned can last for years, but it doesn’t have to.

When we’re rejected, we want answers to try and make sense of what went wrong. We blame ourselves, and want to know what this really says about us. Does it mean that we are fatally flawed?

If you’ve been dumped by a friend or a lover, online or off, here’s what it really means:

You are lovable.

There is nothing wrong with you. We are all guilty of taking rejection personally, especially when we rely on the outside validation of other people’s opinions. Someone else’s actions have nothing to do with us. What someone else thinks or does, or how they choose to treat us, is separate from us, and should not be used as confirmation for the way we feel about ourselves—good or bad. So rest assured, you’re still wonderful, worthy, real, good, and important…no matter what.

Your contract was complete.

A wise healer once explained to me that every interaction we have with others—friends, family, lovers, our children—involves a contract made on the soul level. Our souls agree to help one another out with some aspect of our earthly existence. Some of the contracts last a lifetime, while others are only good for a short period of time.

The length of the contract depends on the experience we need the other person to help us through. And, every interaction, no matter how terrible it may seem in the material realm, helps evolve our spirits. I know, sometimes it doesn’t seem like it, but this belief requires faith. When people are no longer in our lives, it means the contract has been fulfilled. We must thank the other person in our hearts, wish them well even if we feel pain, and let them go.

It wasn’t a good fit.

Some people just aren’t right for each other. We may never know the reason why and that has to be okay. If you start to blame yourself, please re-read the first suggestion.

Something better is waiting.

I promise. Every time I didn’t get a job I wanted, every time that amazing date didn’t call me back, and every time a good friend lost touch with me, my mother would say, “Something better is coming.” She was right—every single time.

Whenever I’d find myself heartbroken, she would explain to me that my next relationship would be an improvement on the one before. “It’s because you learn a little more each time,” she said. “You figure out what to look for, what you need, so you end up making better choices without even realizing that’s what you’re doing.”

You are going to find love or companionship with someone else.

It’s inevitable. It’s a numbers game. The right fit will eventually come along.

A bullet has been dodged.

Go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. When we are unfriended, it means one more dysfunctional, inconsiderate person with poor communication skills is out of our lives, and we don’t have to deal with them and their drama. They have spared us from their negative energy.

You are free.

That relationship is no longer tying you down and holding you back. The possibilities are endless. You can create whatever reality you want.

It’s time to celebrate!

When our feelings are hurt, we may not feel like having a party, but being sad about one thing doesn’t mean we can’t be happy about a million others. We are capable of emotional complexity. Celebrate the fact that you got through this. Give thanks for the lessons learned and the evolution that took place because of this relationship. It’s over now, and that means it’s time to get excited and enthusiastic about what life will bring us next.

We’re made to bond with others. That’s why it hurts so much when those bonds are broken. That’s a normal part of life—and it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. We can’t let our emotions about rejection defeat us.

It’s best not to take it personally.

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” ~ Dita von Teese

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Original article can be found here:
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/06/what-it-rea…

Discipline pays off!

Started work early this AM, (URGH)!
All done! Yea!  Not even the end of the morning but water calling.

Laying out....naked, maybe gym later! Hmm, lets see what goals i can break through.
What a rough life! LMAO

Just a kiss

She stimulated my naked body with her sadistic touch. She squeezed & pulled my nipples forcing my upper body to her...when I'm bound in cuffs to a cross or ring or bar!! She hovers close to my ear, my cheek...I feel her warm breadth, I feel her words Her essence permeates my skin.  She reaches down and feels my moist cunt dripping ready for her touch.  She avoids my pussy, my clit instead touching, pulling & pinching my labia. I feel her touch at periphery of my cunt then quickly in, she brings a wet finger to her mouth, a scant breadth away from me and slowly sucks my juice from her finger watching the flaming desire in my eyes as I see her savoring the taste! Then I feel it; a slight brush of her lips against mine, my mouth automatically opens; her tongue darting out to touch my lips only. I sense her finger coated again with my cunt juice. She shoves it into my mouth knowing I love the taste, her power!  I suck lasciviously, she pulls her finger down and I instinctively follow until the leather cuffs brutally remind me of my physical limitations!  I hear her enjoyment. She knows I am her slut, her mia, her puttana! I hear her behind me, the thin heels on her boots alerting me to her position. Did she care? Probably not. I was already feeling euphoric just to be in her presence, just to be allowed to feel her dominance, just to be her toy explicitly for her pleasure!  So I figured out a mantra to take the fiery strikes of Her dragon tongue, tried to control my breathing as I internalized the sting from hot wax and when she doused me with ice cold water I snapped out of the fuzz!! Again, the paralyzingly Arctic burn of ice water dropped down over the hot wax!  

I felt her lean close to me, her lips once again touched mine. I vaguely remember her telling me that when a sub touched her she lost her scene dominance or Domme space on the rare occasion it hit. This sentiment prevented me from responding to her lips touching mine.  Maybe it was her biting and gently pulling my lower lip! Something encouraged me to respond. Her reaction made my decision the best one in years! I used both of my lips to touch her, then opened and felt her tongue touching mine! Euphoria massively kicked in!  Like every other part of her, her tongue, lips took possession...no asking...just take!  OMFG did she ever! I kissed a lot of women. It's a fact. I've been all over the western and much of the eastern globe!  Her lips, her kiss was soul touching sensual! A kiss that made every sadistic touch she inflicted on my body and the ones she hasn't imagined yet all worth it! Yes, just a kiss

Who has the power? 

Do I, strong, confidant, accomplished submissive woman have power?  A question many tops/Dommes/Mistreses will answer yes, bottoms/subs have the power to give their body (lucky Dommes get the mind too) and the power to stop play.  What about the power to stop craving? Her voice, her touch, her breadth, her scent, her skin? Who has the power? 

After her saying NO for days & weeks I thought I could stay away!  I really tried! I thought I was saving my sanity....what little She left me with!  I sent IM daily, I felt so foolish & helpless. It was Her constant 'No'. I'm an adult(I think) and understand busy lives but I couldn't help feeling what I felt...what I can still feel as I traverse back through the IMs looking for a pic!  I see my long soliloquies and the feelings are hot and raw just like they were when I wrote the paragraphs!  

Who has the power?  She gave me time on Sunday morning.  Later in the week she had personal stuff and thought it could interfere w Sunday. She would cancel if needed. I saw no more messages so I went out Saturday night. The significance of going out was that I workout religiously every day of every week of every month! You get it. If She wants me at 0930 Sunday then my ass wakes up at 0400 so I can be in gym by 0530 work to 0800 shower, dress and arrive at appointed time...actually 10-15 minutes early.  I was at gym about 2hrs later than planned.  I was pissed and funneled the negative feeling into kickass workout!  At 10 minutes after appointed time I get Her message.  1st thought: I didn't see another messag.....no!  I knew I was fucked!  My 2nd thought: honesty & responsibility for my fuck up!  I never, ever felt relief at the start of menstrual cycle!  We are both mature women and understand the symptoms of menses.  She confirmed time & day later in week!  She answered the door dressed and in Mistress mode. I was seeing for the 1st time...again!  Her dominance and raw beauty took my breadth away...again! Who has the power? She directed me to strip & don the harness. My mind was so muddled I heard her instructions but could not process them. I picked up the harness and walked toward Her naked, humble & awe struck! "Ma'am, please help me." I could barely bring my head up to look at Her! She quickly put the harness on me, attached me to a hook extended from the ceiling and began wrapping plastic wrap around my legs. This was a 1st...well so was leather harness, but I knew better than to complain. That thought never entered my mind! In fact im not sure I didn't start crying before she hit me with anything!!  I know She used paddle, I'm sure she used single tail. She had nipple clamps that looked like long scissors! I know the tears flowed! I was thinking, "She is only Domme/Top who has this intensity". "Only She gets this passionate release from me" Only She stimulates every cell in my body". "I need this impact, confinement, pain....vulnerability!"  I was in flip flops and she had heels on. I had to look up at Her. I tried not to. I looked at ceiling, I looked at mantle, fireplace. She never said 1 word. She stood in front of me staring until I bent, turned my head and looked into the deep dark pools of raw sadistic dominance!Yes, I shed tears for the realization that I needed her! I wanted more paddling when she brought out ice! I wanted more ice when She played with my cunt!  I wanted more when she kissed me hot passionate erotic kiss, demanding my submission!  When I kissed her back reveling in my submission with passion & tears she commanded an orgasm that tore through my body up to my brain and down to my toes! Who has power? 

When You shed the corset I didn't see but heard and knew what was happening but the 'why' didn't connect. I was totally overwhelmed by your skin! YOU... smooth, soft, silky with luscious curves...and, Oh, when I felt the slight impact of your hard nipples against my back I thanked god I was secure in the harness because my legs were jelly! Then You began removing or taking me out of the harness.  By that time your touch was so acute because I was hyper sensitive! The searing, scorcher of a kiss when you allowed my body to orgasm could not have been better...well, yes it could have...IF, IF I could've elongated the orgasm! Not a chance in hell! My entire body was stimulated, inside and out!  All my brain knew was Your amazing kiss and you making me orgasm! 

So, ya, when you cut the upper portion of plastic wrap and pressed your body against me to get the harness off I could've died a happy girl! You wrapped your arms around me and allowed my face to lay in your chest....what? The most desirable being I encounter in years and I knew, I KNEW better than to stick my toungue out a taste what filled every pore in my cheek:  sweet moist skin only slightly salty...like white ganache laced with granules of Hawaiian sea salt!  Luscious, delectably luscious!!! 

Yes, You have the power...to make me return to you, to render me crawling, weak! Yes, I beg you, Please, Ma'am....PLEASE! I need more

Musings
Not 1, not 2, not 3....5 orgasms! Yes She masturbated in front of me, slow sensual; teasing & torturing me because I am limited to be her unwilling voyuer, unwilling because her mouthwatering scent is thick in the air, curling around me invading my senses making me squirm with desire! I feel her passion in my soul! The melodious sounds she emits as well as her words hit every cell in me igniting a passion I had never before imagined! The vision of her reaching pinnacle; head thrown back, breasts topped with beautiful rock hard nipples the most salient physical feature but I do not miss how her thighs tense even toes on her feet spread signifying how pervasive her orgasms are! She ordered me to 'stay'. Her words my only restraints. I know she is challenging me, calling my bluff, torturing me, imposing her Domme essence all over and in me! She knows my own passion in symbiosis with her is building but because it is her pleasure, her words, her delectable scent I will not experience release until SHE decides it is what i want! She knows my wants, my desires, my emptiness, my needs! She knows I am a willing needy blank slate addicted to the intense body/mind quaking pleasure only She can give me!p

Blindfolded but not gagged I knew she intended to slowly inflict pain in me, savoring her sadistic pleasure as much as allowing me to marinate in pleasure if I used my mind as she taught me. This means I had to swallow my fear and channel it to places of pleasure. No small task. I was secured to a slab of cold stone. My limbs were spread eagle with thick leather bands encircling my ankles and wrists....as well as my neck. She ensured I encountered this dilemma: over come fear to concentrate on pain's tentacles and how they can produce delicious feelings deep in my body!
I loved endorphin high! She knew, Simple. This is why I let Mistress bind me with leather cuffs leaving me spread, pondering and vulnerable! I thoroughly enjoy scent of my pussy juice! Im told daily serving of fresh pineapple produce a sweet taste by salivating sophisticated palates! My tastebuds awaken as my sweet, musk scent invades my senses! I forget my fear, I do not hear Mistress enter but I now feel her, I hear her...I involuntary breathe deep because I pick up her scent! Oh my! I arch my back I want more! I'm getting wet! I can't squirm! I can't move! 'Fuck' I say in my head as I realize how completely vulnerable I am to Her!! She sees my body jerking and a lite laugh indicates her pleasure at my distress. I'm sure this is not even the beginning! I hear her shoes click clack on the cement floor. Her dungeon leaves little to the imagination. She has more light than most dungeons or rooms named dungeons. I learned a month ago the lighting was for various mirrors on walls and ceiling. I know before the night is over when Mistress has my body exactly how she wants it: welted with her whips, naked, humiliatedwith butt plug, legs spread wide, horny, sopping wet and willing to do anything for stimulation! Yea, I've seen the pictures. Don't get me wrong, Mistress tapped into my inner exhibitionist! She could have read my online profile but her insight was uncanny! I had no choice but to trust her! No matter what she did Ma'am always made sure I internalized the pain before inflicting more! When I thought I had enough she paused, caressed me in different spots, maybe kissed my cheek, maybe run a finger through my sopping cunt...but She continued my treatments! My body always surprised me...and impressed me! She enabled progress until She actually stripped my back so much only lite lacerations halted her progress! I know Ma'am loved coloring my back, ass, thighs deep red and I wanted to always please my Mistress. I was proud of my endurance and relished her marks on my body! Today was no different

Recharge...so many ways!  An extraordinary Domme who inspires with only words reminded me to reflect on how I recharge because honestly I've been so busy I have not acknowledged my energy flow! One of the most important parts of of me is my positive energy flow. Another part is my intense passion but that is subject for another  journal entry :)
Several years ago I made conscious decision to walk away from anyone who has negative attitude. Consequently I only have people with positive attitudes in my circle of friends! Another way I accumulate positive energy is to take care of me by: seeing a holistic practitioner weekly and attending a day spay bi monthly for relaxing treatments! I share this energy with my friends: another Domme I've been chatting with went through a trying time recently and I sent my reserve energy every day for at least a week! Some friends gathered last night for entertaining discussions, awesome food, gut busting laughter! Lots of the laughter was result of women teasing me....I loved it! My purpose in life is to share amusement with those women I care about!
Reflecting on these events I realize how energized I feel...what a feeling! There is nothing like friends and self indulgence to recharge my spirit!

I can bear your teasing, I can suffer your pain but even more I endure the dark pleasure you take in making me rise, in watching me simmer on the edge of pain/pleasure, you watch while my body begins a slow dance to ecstasy, pushing to see how much I can take.  You know how to make me take more, my body is scorched but you continue…because it pleases you!