I am a submissive? I don’t know, the more I think about it , the more I believe that I was born a submissive and that things in my life brought it more and more to the surface. Yes, I was abused as a kid by both my parents and the foster parents that raised me. This included anything from being spanked with a strap or a branch from a rose bush, made to wear dresses, gagged and sexual abused. I think majority of us have been abused in some way in our childhood. But it’s the way we handle it is what makes each of us different. My brain is wired to enjoy these fetishes and all I want to do is to try to please, submit and give myself to the person I choose, totally.
My natural tendency is to be a submissive individual. Almost any strong personality seems to overwhelm me. Personally, I prefer the female of the species, but that’s just my preference. I have tried the vanilla lifestyle and am tired of walking on eggshells, not knowing what to divulge and what not to. Is it possible to have a female friend that I can share the vanilla world and be my Mistress in my alternate reality? Can both realities co-exist?
A relationship has to be born before either party can participate in enriching activities. Respect, communication and understanding is the foundation for any relationship.
I want to be home anticipating the arrival of my mistress to come home dressed and or bound the way she wants. I’ve competed the chores that she has assigned or fearful because they chores are not done. I want to wait on her hand and foot. This is what my mistress wants. Bath her, wait on her and give my all to her happiness.
Submission, by and large is considered by many an undesirable trait. In my opinion, submission is not an undesirable trait, but rather one of my stronger traits. It shows my trust in my partner. It takes almost inhuman strength to let go of the pain and the humiliation and anger and all the other emotions that we face every single day of our lives. Many times I would like to release everything and cry. We are raised as children to believe that tears were for “sissies” and it shown weakness to shed a tear. One of the reasons that I want to submit is to surrender to my need to cry. To shed tears that would otherwise be considered “unmanly”
Submission does not mean that I have a low opinion of myself. It does not mean I crave humiliation or embarrassment at the hands of every person, or dominate female I cross paths with. What it does mean though, is that I am free to “let go” of the daily stresses where I am in charge. That I choose a partner that understands and wants to show me and explore the far reaches of our beings. I want to be able to safely let another guide me while soaring within “the far reaches of my mind”.
Yes, it almost always sexual in nature, although not always sensual. We use sex as the “excuse” to submit. I admit it can be very erotic, especially, if she wants to exert “sexual control” over me. It would be very powerful to have my orgasms controlled by her. To have to ask for permission to obtain release is very demeaning and yet exciting.
For many, the mere fact that a woman is going to take control translates into something sexual. The sexual arena is typically ruled by the Males of our species but it now becomes the place of power for the female. The female, once thought of as the “weaker sex” becomes the stronger of the two. A mutual exchange of power takes place. By taking submission into the arena, lends a new type of power to the “weaker sex”. My maleness becomes her tool in which to exert her own special brand of “control. My masculinity can often times be mocked. I can be “forced to wear female clothing. What can be more submissive that to wear a garter belt, stockings and heels. There are not many places where things can be explored with fewer boundaries and the ability to cross with greater impunities than the bedroom.
The dominate female would recognize and use this place as her pedestal in which to stand over me. It is from this vantage point that she can begin to exert her control, I give this to her willingly. To be taken to a realm that ordinarily would be forbidden. There is a price for this. She will demand pleasure. What form does the “pleasure” take? It doesn’t matter. It can be anything from a simple foot rub, kneeling in the corner in silence, or performing sexual pleasure for her. Anything that can reduce me to the subservient male she can do to her desire. This will bring her pleasure and all us release and freedom within our relationship and lives. Submission like sex, shares one commonality. Exposure! You’re revealing a lot about yourself by the mere act of submitting.
I think I might be a Masochist. In my early days, I thought I was a pervert because I wanted “pain”. I needed pain. I told myself that I must be a bad person because of this and should be punished. Punishment allows us to embrace our masochism in a more “justified” manner. We take on the “I’m a bad person” and need to be punished persona in order to get what we want and sometimes need. For others, receiving pain is the means needed to be submissive. It does not always involve receiving. I think it varies with the individual. I will not attempt to explain the rationale behind my needing pain. Some might say it’s an “endorphin addiction”. For me, it’s a ride into the outer reaches. I soar and fly in my own freedom of self. It increases the intensity of pleasure. It allows me to soar to new worlds until an orgasm is reached then float ever so softly back to this world. I want someone to guide and soar with me through these worlds and land back on earth, safe and sound, happy and whole once more. But to do this you must acknowledge and respect each other accordingly.
Without constant communication and respect for each other, this or any relationship will not flourish.
