Dom with devilish imagination seeks sub with whom to communicate and play. Psychological understanding of yourself is important; humor is vital. The phrases safe/sane and drug/disease free should go without saying (but, sadly, don't).
My central interest is erotic exploration and I'm willing to focus almost everything else around that. Unlike most Doms who advertise the static thing they offer I am interested in a process, a moving series of interlinked experiences as opposed to some massive horsepill-sized "scene." Because of this I don't draw the same type of experienced/novice, heavy/light dichotomies that others do.
So much ostensibly-heavy "edge play" seems tepid to me. It is a mere matter of gear-box communication where the couple learns what each means by "1st gear, 2nd gear, 3rd gear (187th gear?), reverse, stop." Everything after that is mere hand-eye co-ordination that lets you hit what you aim at.
On the other hand I know people who seem ashamed that they're considered "novices."
Let me try to better tell you who I am by creating two imaginary situations at Paddles.
One woman is there every night and is being worked over with a 15-pound rhino-hide flogger. She's enjoying the sensation and the wild endorphin blast it's producing but beyond the chemically-produced consciousness doesn't have a thought in her head.
Another woman is at Paddles for the first time. She's been put into a (barely) see-through blouse by her Dom and notices that many men and a few women are looking at her breasts. She's swept by a variety of different contradictory emotions and desires, believes she never should have come to the club and yet feels her nipples hardening as she thinks that.
To my sense of play the second woman is far more into real edge play that the first. The "novice" is risking things and is pushing her limits.
The woman with the rhino flogger is merely experiencing and while her experiences may be intensely pleasurable they are things she's often experienced before. Now I am not the fellow to drop a flogger on a dirty dungeon floor, but, everything else being equal, I'd rather play and experiment with the second woman.
Unfortunately there's an enormous amount of bullshit in the scene as people deliberately miscommunicate. Folks are notoriously inaccurate in their self-descriptions. So let me tell you some of the things I'm not into as opposed to standard Dom-talk about what I am and what I can provide.
I'm not interested in a 24/7 relationship. I don't want to devote all of my free time to another person in the limited guise of being a "Master" and certainly would not want a woman who needed such a thing.
I'm not looking for a slave. To quote Groucho Marx "I refuse to be a member of any club whose standards are so low as to permit somebody like me to become a member." Similarly, I am not interested in having as a slave any woman who would want to be one.
I'm not interested in a relationship limited to endorphinism. I'm not going to be your unpaid pusher. I have no problem if your desires are limited to four-hour endorphin blasts but I'm just not the person to provide them. On the other hand, I'd have fun working with the occasional endorphin-loading that would last for as much of a long weekend as we could make it. The difference is "occasional, in addition to lots of other things" as opposed to "all the time to the exclusion of everything else."
I also hear Doms and subs, men and women complain about miscommunication and the deliberate disregard of explicit statements.
I don't have a large toybag and don't want one. Like the alchemists of old I would rather make my own instruments for specific purposes to play with unique people. I'm not interested in saying, "Look at this wonderful toy I bought today." I am interested in saying (and have said) "Look at this tiny little nothing of a rope flogger and now imagine how its twin will feel because I've stiffened the strands with beeswax."
You may ask "Are you man and Dom enough to disregard my 'no' and force me into submission?"
I value honesty and directness so I'm not even "Dom enough" to be interested in you and my idea of a fun time does not include dealing with the "Brat."
Similarly, I hear Doms complaining of subs who inquire "Can you see through the constant mist of misinformation that I'll through up?" Don't ask me that. I don't know. One reason I don't know is that I won't try.
I can respect hard limits. And I don't want to smash soft limits with a sledgehammer; I've been told I'm awfully good at seducing those out of the way.
"Once size fits all" eroticism doesn't work.
Want to explore mutual possibilities together?
