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| Is what I seek really that out of the ordinary?
I am a submissive who loves to be controlled and dominated-ONLY when it comes with respect, praise, patience, and boundless affection-not into insults or "mean-spirited" play, and I'm not interested in being pushed or pursued strongly until I give a strong green light. The submissive/dominant dynamic I enjoy comes not from humiliation and directionless pain, but from a place of very deep affection. I love feeling truly appreciated and the feeling of knowing someone is proud to be with me. It gives me great pleasure to give with complete abandon to my partner--not just intimately, but in life--my kindness and generosity know no limits when I have the desire to give.
I have a few needs that cannot be compromised, which include: stats-being with a well endowed partner, slender or fit, 6'2 or taller, white or latin only--non stats: someone who is able to be verbally and physically fearless and lose all inhibitions with me on an intimate level when trust is established, someone who is in a good place and happy in life, with goals and pride in what they do.
My standard info: Originally from the midwest, I balance a life of work in PR and performing classical music. I have traveled the world and love European culture and travel. I feel a strong connection to the 20's/30's, as well as the victorian era--I love historical fiction, and am a bit of an art, antique and museum junkie. I love New York City, am established and want to continue to build my life here, and am not open to relocating.
My personality is sometimes admittedly abrasive--I am a very, VERY strong, busy woman with a larger than life personality to match. But around the right person I go completely soft in every way and find time for those I care for. I guess you could say I'm a woman with some interesting juxtapositions and yin/yang-I'm happiest embracing that. I recently read a quote that really spoke to me: "A submissive can not have a master until she is able to master herself." I could not agree more. If you're looking for a doormat, the girl next door or someone who is submissive in every day life, however, you are barking up the wrong tree. Also, as much as I love attention, there is a fine line between getting attention from someone I want attention from, and being stalked. It's been hard to find a balance, but I'm hoping it exists.
I am not looking for a casual, polyamorous or open relationship, or to meet men who are involved or married. The daddy/daughter dynamic is NOT my thing. As for "training"--being completely "broken down," tons of toys, etc--also not my thing. I like a nice one-on-one, deeply affectionate sub/dom dynamic that comes from a positive place. I would like to have a family some day.
So far, I feel that unveiling what I am looking for in a partner in every day life or on more conventional sites attracts people who lack understanding jumping to the wrong conclusions--someone who reads into my preferences and thinks I just "like it rough," that I have some kind of a problem, or that I'm someone who's "just for fun". The close minded views are so disappointing, because I have never been one to edit myself or be ashamed. I love being honest, positive, and proud of who I am- at the end of the day, my family, friends, and colleagues aren't going anywhere, no matter what kind of relationship I want. I just want to be able to say what I'm looking for like anyone else-there are lots of people out there on gay dating sites, christian sites, etc. I don't want to be part of "clubs" or "groups" or "a scene", but I do hope that reaching out may increase the chances of me finding the type of person and romantic relationship I'm looking for without judgement instead of constantly shooting in the dark.
If you've read all of this, you are probably thinking, wow, that's a lot! But when the dynamic is right, it's surprising how simple and special things can be.
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