The Principles Of Parenting

Being a parent is not completely all about the fact of bringing a baby into the world. Right there is misconception No. 1. The ability to procreate does not make instantly both parties in the procreation process, actual parents. Parenting, real true parenting is the basis by the way and in which parenting is given.

Caring, loving, guiding, understanding, politeness, gratitude, praise, encouragement and discipline. All of these things are what makes a good parent, nay… a great parent. Even most parents of today’s society focus mostly on the last part of this list. Yes all children of all ages need discipline, or they would get out of hand. Shouting at them or Spanking them while effective, that does not constitute as good parenting. There is a true sense of moral right and wrong, be that if you chose to ignore such a thing or not even believe it.

A slightly raised voice, just enough for a child to know it is doing wrong can does help any child to know when it is doing any wrong, when it does something right it is praised, but the praise of children diminishes as the child gets older as parents seem to think or believe that such praise is no longer needed. Well, yes, they do not need to be praised as babies any more or praised in the manner one would praise a baby. However, they still need to be praised that is more fitting for their age, or more to the point so it can be applied to them at any age, but so long as they recognise it to be praise.

The most importance really is that it is positive, sometimes praise for a child to be different for praise for an adult can be a good thing, though I will admit, it must be hard to find a level of praise that say can be applied for 1-10 year olds, as they get older, the praise does change and is more fit to be giving to 11-12 year olds. When the seeds of teenage symptoms and traits start, right from the moment one turns 13, handling teens is by far the most difficult of all, I know, because I can clearly remember exactly how I was when I had been a teenager, I rebelled against my parents with everything that I could throw at them.

When a child in their teens does get violent, it is by far the most difficult to control them, force where it needs to be used, should only eve be used to subdue the child in the best way possible, without where possible, causing too much harm. The more harm one does to a child, the more that child is going to resent the very person causing them the most harm. That is a very simple fact.

I know a lot about resentment, I know exactly how it feels, I know how it can twist the mind, bring about nasty thoughts. In some cases, not all, while you may hear about parents killing their own children, it is maybe not that uncommon for children to kill their own parents. I do not know for certain about that, it could be rare, what I trying to say here however, is that a lot of resentment can really change a person and make them do terrible things even.

Politeness, can be taught, often it can be expected and familiar to be polite can result in punishment with even most parents. While it is important to be polite towards another person, being forgetful to be polite is not a serious crime, the matter only needs to be corrected, not scorned. Now everything hangs on how to correct the child without he or she feeling and thinking, they are being punished or feel bad about the mistake they have just made.

With gentle but also firm tone, a child can be told they had made a mistake, so long as they are told exactly that they are not in any trouble, and to just make sure not to forget being polite, the more positive that can be put the better. What I like to call positive reinforcement. This is something not actually physically or forced in any way as such. That’s the beauty of positive reinforcement, it’s a gentle form of coheres, I hope I am spelling that right and hope you know the word I am trying to say, this is the best the spell checker in word doc can give to me.

This journal has been made in word doc. So, my point is that positive reinforcement to be the most best and effective thing to use in anyone’s life, as a child or as an adult. You do not have or need to believe that. While I am sure other methods work, the impact however of how those methods make a person become and feel like is a whole different thing. If being treated to being less than human, to be your thing and belief, then you will never know beauty, love, and more.

Convince yourself what you do to be love or out of love if you want to. I sure know how so many have such a very different view point and belief of what love is and what it means. I grew up with highly religious parents, their love, or Christian version of it, to be pure and out of that love, what they did to me was wrong. I will not go into details of what exactly they did, other than suffice to say it was anything but good. I question their so called love and will question any other form of love where inflicting pain etc. anything that has a negative affect or is a thing that is negative as means of showing love, as that is a major contradiction.

You are entitled to your own belief as to what does constitute as love, as equally as I am entitled to my belief too. Care, this is virtually the same as love as in loving a child. A parent will state that he or she shouts at a child, simply because they care, or spank as to correct a child, because they care. Cruelty to a child or any other human being is still cruelty, as well as it being against the law, maybe not in all countries, but where it does apply as law it is law and it is there for a reason.

Care like love, can be achieved without doing anything cruel, or raising ones voice too much to show care. Guidance, not only is this essential in being given to children, it should not stop as they get older, while true the learn to make their own decisions in life, to learn from them, that does not mean or imply as we sometimes do, look to others for guidance, though being adult and old enough we feel shame most often to seek it, or want it, even when we do actually need it.  

Very few adults will ask for it, parents see not needing to give it once a child is old enough and adult enough to do things on their own. However, no one is perfect, yes we can learn from our own mistakes, that not mean though that we not need guidance, it should be given whenever needed, both parent and the adult person can either become open to seeing this and accepting such a thing, or ignore it. There is a saying ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ If anyone believes that, then good luck to you all on that one.

Understanding, a good majority of parents, while not all, fail to understand their children and also understand them in the teenage and their adult lives. They draw form their own experiences, while that is a good thing, one thing that should be obvious, the child is not exactly them. With understanding anything in life, comes not only form one’s own experiences, but also from the experiences of others and more importantly experiences of the very moment a person lives in and everything that is part of that person’s life.

Talking to a child or teen or when they are adults, asking them questions, but not in a way they feel they are being part of an Inquisition. Listening to the replies, the more information one gets, the better can the parent gain any kind of understanding of their child, teen or adult son or daughter. Gratitude is simply something that should be given and received, if one forgets to give back, again remind them without scorning them, which falls into the category of Encouragement.

Praise and Encouragement both go hand in hand with one another. The more often these things are used throughout the child’s life right on through to adult hood, will make them a better adult and in turn when they do have children themselves, these things can be passed on to their children and their children’s children. Another and vital key I nearly almost forgot to mention, is Openness.

Both children and parents need to be able to be open and oh yes, honest with each other, those two things also go as much hand in hand as does praise and encouragement do. Adult Babies because they are adult in mind and body do not nor should not be treated any less different form the examples I have pointed out. On the whole Adult Babies are not sluts, maids etc. A point I made in my other journal. So I shan’t repeat that here.

But this journal I hope at least I hope gives a more clear idea of what being a Mommy and a Daddy is all about and should not in any way shape or form change just for Adult Babies and the care of them. Daddies or Mommies that require things outside not only what I have said here and my other journal, but also outside the Adult Baby Community life style within itself, promote a false sense of those terms and roles.

How? I have put across my case on that one. But it is as I have said, my own view point and belief.