Sorry this is so long but I hope you think it is worth the time to read it.
What am I is harder to describe then who I am. I have been in the lifestyle for 35 years serving as a sub, a cuck, a sex slave as well as a Dom. To help you understand let me give you a brief history More then anything it is important to know that I am seriously looking for a real time and eventual long term relationship. Age and looks have very little importance as I believe all women are beautiful and sexy all things being equal I would prefer a woman older then myself.
At the age of 13 my mother was having some financial problems so she sent me to live with a woman who I had always called my Aunt however she was not a relative. She lived in a 3 bedroom home her bedroom and one spare bedroom was in the back of the house and a 3rd bedroom where I stayed was in the front. About twice a week she would have male visitors and I was instructed to stay in my room while they were there, which I did. Everything went well for the first couple of years she was a very strict woman who I knew I best obey.
When I was about 15 the roof in my room started to leak every time it rained so she moved me to the bedroom next to hers in the back of the house. As her male friends would visit they would go to her room about the first night I awoke with her yelling at first I thought she was in trouble but soon realized her yelling was pleasure not distress. At this stage in my life I had very little sexual experience just a little masturbation which I never went all the way as I always stopped just prior to Cumming.
One day I discovered that we shared a common closet located between our two bedrooms. I have no idea why but there was no door to the closet in her room just an opening. When she would have her lovers over I would go in the closet and watch this went on for several months without her knowledge, then one night she caught me watching I did not know it at the time and as usual after they finished I went back to my bed and would masturbate. After he left she came into my room and turned on the light asking what the hell was I doing in the closet watching her? Well I was half scared to death laying there naked and stroking myself. Needless to say I immediately lost my erection. I covered myself up the best as I could with the sheet as she came over and sat on the edge of my bed. She was wearing a gown that covered very little she was large breasted and on numerous times in the past she would catch me looking at her breasts and would always ask what I was looking at. Well this night as she sat there talking to me one of them came out of her gown and I could not help but look. She was lecturing me about what I had done and that I needed to be punished and then she noticed me looking at her bare breast she simply said you are always looking so go ahead take a good look and with that she pulled my mouth onto it. I think she then asked me about me masturbating as she came into the room, to be honest I am not sure in what order what all took place. She did tell me that it was normal for a boy my age to be curious and she understood but still it was wrong but most importantly she wanted me to promise her that anything that went on or was said would be kept between the two of us. Until now I have never really discussed this part of my life before.
I am not sure what happened next or in what order I do know however that as she was asking me about masturbating she removed the sheet from me and did grab my penis which immediately got hard even as scared as I was. She asked me if I knew about sex and what I had saw with her and her lover I don’t think I said much of anything as I was scared to death. At some point she spread her legs open and told me to take a very close look at what she had which I did, remember she had just finished with her lover as she spread the lips of her vagina open she told me to kiss it, to lick it, which I did and with that I became her modified cuck, her sex slave or whatever other term you care to put on it.
After that it became a routine when her lovers left she came to my room to be cleaned up at times while doing so she would stroke me but never to the point of release and we never had intercourse. Often while cleaning her she would have strong orgasms which made me happy as I knew she was very happy and that I made her feel good.
After that it became my job to get her ready for her dates which included bathing her, give her massages followed by extended periods of foreplay including a lot of oral sex for her most of the time I did not take her to climax as that is how she wanted it as she wanted to be as turned on as possible when her lover arrived. When he was finished she would once again come to my room as before.
Yes I continued to watch from the closet and sometimes she would invite me into her room depending on which guy was there so I could watch and learn. I must say she had excellent taste in her lovers as they were all in good physical shape and all very well endowed.
Probably when I was 16 or perhaps 17 one night after preparing her for her lover he did not show up, that was the first night the two of us had sex and was the first time for me after that it was a reward I could look forward to if I was good, but it did not happed very oftern.
When I was in my mid 20’s I still lived with her and she began training me to be a Dom we lived together as lovers until her death from cancer 6 years ago. I have tried living the life of a Dom but I have to be honest I miss serving as her cuck, her sub, her sex slave and is why I don’t know what I am today. Am I Dom, am I sub, Am I a cuck, or am I a sex slave.
I am now 48 years old I ran a successful business which I have just recently sold and now retired. I am not rich but financially secure. I am free to travel and willing to relocate for the right woman and situation.
I am the most non-jealous man you will ever meet I am a one woman man and have no desire for other women in my life but enjoy you having other men. If interested lets talk as I am very serious. I simply enjoy providing pleasure for my partner no matter what is required.
