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Aristotle divided the means of persuasion into three categories of appeals: *Ethos, Pathos, and Logos*. Pathos is a quality that has the power to arouse emotions and evoke feelings to bring about persuasion. Literally, pathos is a Greek word meaning "to suffer" and "to experience".

Pathos causes the listener, not just to respond emotionally, but to identify and agree with the speaker's point of view. Pathos evokes a meaning implicit in the verb 'to suffer' in that it causes the listener to feel pain imaginatively through the passion of its delivery. As the listener hears and experiences the words and actions of the speaker, she responds with an emotional agreement, with a desire to experience what she is hearing and feeling, then submits her will to the emotional passion of her master.

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Though I have known a little of the BDSM lifestyle for several years, I stepped into it about 18 months ago. I left shortly thereafter because what I encountered wasn't what I expected. What I experienced from my foray into this lifestyle I would describe as being something that was much like the swinger community's perspective towards sex as a no-strings recreational activity yet with a desire for commitment. The overall focus was sex, which is understandable, yet wasn't something I found fulfilling because my deeper desire was for an intimate D/s relationship in which BDSM activities are part of, but not the central focus of, that relationship. In short, play without building intimacy left me feeling rather empty. What I learned about myself is that, unless those things occur within the confinements of a relationship that I believe will hold together for life, they leave me feeling very empty, guilty, and even isolated. One day, I hope to explore all of those things, but from a foundation of love with someone with whom I share a common life vision and purpose . That, to me, would be euphorically wonderful and awesome. Granted, as a Dom, when I stepped into this lifestyle a year and a half ago, it was my responsibility to guide any relationship, and, being new, much of what I experienced was from my "figuring out" where and how I fit into the Lifestyle, and wasn't necessarily "how things really are" overall.

By nature, I am very much dominant. My perspective on what comprises being a Dom is somewhat different than what have I observed in others, and have heard about from the subs I have known. My perspective on what a Dominant is has roots in the relationship between a Hebrew master and his slave(s)/bondservant(s). The Hebrew word for master is *adon*. The focus and major responsibility for the relationship between *adon* and slave was completely on the master. The master's responsibilities included providing for his slave (physically as well as emotionally), instructing his slave, teaching his slave, communicating with his slave about what he wanted/needed, and all other aspects of defining their relationship. The *adon* was expected to provide a nurturing environment in which the slave could rest emotionally without worry or fear.

A slave or bondservant was so integrated that he or she was even considered to be part of the family of their master, and had many rights in the community as a family membrer of that household. The relationships formed were as much family-like as they were power exchange-like. The responsibility of the slave or bondservant was much simpler than that of the master: to respectfully obey in a timely manner. Along those lines, my perspective on D/s M/s relationships are that M/s relationships are achieved, and grow from a D/s relationship. A woman who will immediately tell me she would like to be owned by me sends up red flags just as immediately. I question whether it is me, or just anyone, she desires. I list myself as Dom today because, to me, a Master is a relationship and, thus requires a relationship, while Dominant is a characteristic.

The best resource I found within the BDSM community that discusses my feelings/beliefs about the Dominant side of D/s relationships is the book "*The Loving Dominant*". Truthfully though, my perspective on M/s and D/s relationships has its foundation in the Bible. Though play may at times be intense and push boundaries, the people involved are always considered and never cross over into becoming mere objects of a Dominant's desire (or a submissive's for that matter). BDSM activities are, to me, part of a relationship, not the center of that relationship. The core and center of a D/s relationship, to me, is love, respect, empathy, and patience. It is symbiotic in that, without the submissive the Dominant is living in part, and without a Dominant, a submissive lives in part as well. Together, they form something complete that flows into each other.

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yetty401
 
 Age: 27
 Walnut creek ca, California