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I created this profile last year with a vague yearning within me, and a simple intent that grew to a magnitude that overwhelmed me. I left it alone until now, until the ache to even just express myself, write, and release the pain within me became too much to bear.
I have hovered around the edges of the lifestyle for years. I have dipped my toe in a time or two, only to plunge into depths I couldnt foresee, with people I found out, too late, were unworthy of respect or devotion. No one guided me, or taught me. I learned things myself, through hard experience. And then I became disillusioned, and ran away to vanilla relationships with a bit of kink, until the passion within me tormented me too deeply for me to stay away. So, here I am.
I am a strong, independent person, with my own career. I make decent money (not great, but I dont go hungry), I travel the country, I work in a predominantly male profession and am just as tough as any of them...but there is something within me that wants to be owned, that wants to drop the act and allow myself to be the person I truly am, that is perfectly happy with the idea of kneeling at the feet of One I acknowledge as dominant, greater than me, and devoting my life to making Him happy.
I will write more in here later, but I thought I may as well write a preliminary introduction while I had a few minutes. Thank you for reading.
Edit 8816 I suppose its about time I put more about myself on this profile, if only for the therapeutic effects of writing.
First and foremost, I briefly mentioned working in a male-dominated field before. I am a driver. No, I dont drive truck. I transport motor homes, box trucks, buses, etc, all over the country from Indiana. Its an unpredictable, chaotic job, filled with planes, trains, long hours, very little sleep, a fair amount of danger, and a ridiculous amount of freedom and fun. Im an independent contractor. I go where I want, when I want, and I only have to work when I feel like it. It is currently the best thing in my life. It brings me joy like nothing else Ive ever known. Im currently writing this in southern California on a train to Los Angeles, where Ill catch a bus to Vegas, spend a few hours playing there, fly back to the office, and pick up a truck heading east. This is just an example of what I do. Anyone who chooses to message me should keep in mind that my responses may not be prompt. I may be out of cell range, or driving long hours before collapsing, or a variety of other things. So, I will apologize in advance for any delay in responses.
I have often called myself a ball of contradictions. Im very diverse, and though I spend much of my time in strange cities, I seem to fit in everywhere. I am equally at home in truck stops and museums, cracking disgusting jokes and discussing philosophy, sleeping in a train station or in a fancy hotel. I am highly intelligent, but I still think fart jokes are funny. I am loyal to a fault, but highly vindictive when trust is broken. Im active and love hiking, swimming, camping, and above all, fishing, but Im still a fat chick. I have some social anxiety and very little patience for stupidity. I can be crass, and loud, and boisterous, but people seem to be drawn to me constantly, much to my puzzlement and amusement. I write all this not because I particularly want to talk about myself, but to give those reading a better understanding of who I am, and the inherent difficulties of connecting and being involved with someone like me. I am unique, I am headstrong, I am independent, and I am indeed difficult.
As for the lifestyle, I do not have much real world experience. I have spent years dipping my toe in, only to be disappointed by the caliber of people I met. However, once one has had a taste of this lifestyle, one cannot be happy going back to plain old vanilla. It becomes an ache within, a deep sense of dissatisfaction, a dull-edged knife slowly digging into ones heart. And so, here I am. If you have made it this far and feel like messaging, please feel free. Thank you.
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The sunrise in Jamestown, New Mexico was gorgeous today. It looked like the sky was filled with molten gold. Uploaded a picture, just because. |
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On my way to Phoenix in a whirlwind trip. 1860 miles in just over 48 hours? Suuuure, why not?! I've had four hours sleep in the last 48, so beware! Responses may be garbled and slightly incoherent...you have been warned! |
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I have been asked why I don't have any pictures of myself posted. No, I'm not scared, or shy, or even hideous. I don't have a particularly public job, nor a reputation that would be ruined by my face appearing on a BDSM website. I simply do not feel like posting my pictures. If we start talking and you'd like to see who you're messaging, I'll gladly send pictures. Hell, if I'm driving, I may even give you my number. For now, however, I've opted to post pictures from the road. Places I've been, things I've seen, glimpses of the wonder that is my world. To me, that is more personal than my face. If you don't understand that last statement, I don't know what to tell you. |
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I believe I must make something clear. If you claim to be a "Master", and yet lack the self-control to conduct yourself in a civil manner, I will not take you seriously. If you cannot debate, or accept that the viewpoints of others differ from your own, I consider you worthless. If you believe that simply because you are a man, all women should immediately bow to you, I will laugh at you. I do not believe that men are superior simply because they are men. There are many inferior, weak-minded, contemptible humans out there, both male and female. I would much rather be alone for the rest of my days than to put myself into the hands of one who is clearly inferior. No...no. If I am going to submit to someone, he must lead by example. He must be worth following. He must be intelligent and inspiring. For those of us that have already been through hell and tempered by the fire, nothing less will suffice. I will not follow, if you cannot lead. |
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| Age: 39 |
| Springfield,
Missouri |
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