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Passion8Kisser

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WhipKeeper

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Collared*, owned, Loved...seeking, no doubt for the impossible. *IN otherwords, show SOME respect to the fact that I already have a Dominant whilest addressing me/this profile!

I'm a horny, ornery, silly, sometimes childish, sometimes needy, sometimes confused little submissive nympho.

My Daddy and Master is on here as Whipkeeper.

In accordance with arrangements made previously, I am seeking either a switch male, or a dominant male who
a) would move to minnesota or b) already lives here. Who a) accepts that whipkeeper and I are already together and/or b) is ok that I am polyamorous. *and that being a nympho means I want to have sex with more than one guy a lot of times.* I am also bisexual and involved in at least one lesbian coupling.

The dom I seek would be someone who might potentially come to want my hand in Marriage. Of course he'd have to get Daddy's explicit permission for that!!! I don't expect it right away, relationships need to be built over time.

Finally I am very much interested in someone who likes Spanking, all that goes with it and someone who is loving and kind. Who will accept me as I am now and throughout the years to come.

I am less than 30, I don't necessarily need a Dom to be, but he should at least look somewhere around my age. I am not looking for Doms much over the age of 40. when it comes to Daddy Doms~~~I've already got mine, thanks anyway. *
Oh, lastly lets not get this big religious hang-up later. I am Christian* and I am coming to terms with the contrasting worlds of my version of BDSM and my religion; you should at least be willing to do the same.

If you are an interested male or female, but Especially male, and you live in the Minnesota area please feel invited to contact either me or my dominant on here as Whipkeeper to get to know me/Us.

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7/14/2011 8:28:42 PM

Been a bit of ups and downs this last couple months. I actually saw a bit more of Daddy than I thought I might. Then again there were some sort of big let downs too, where I didn't get to have fun with daddy as much I thought I might, also I didn't plan enough to where i had other fun going on either. So that last bit was a my bad.

 

Lots of thoughts going round in the ferris wheel of my brain, now if only they would stay in such a compact circle instead of such randomness. Maybe just maybe I could sift through them and make headway into them.  A lot of it is future things that don't need decided right now, but press to the forefront. Then there are all of the things that I can see happening sooner than later ideas too. A little of it is  small stuff like work and deadlined planning, chores and the like. Most of it just needs shelved somewhere to be thoroughly examined down the road in a timely enough manner.

 

Oh well, one of these days it will all come together.

 


5/10/2011 4:23:03 PM

             it's been awhile and a lot has been going on. Got settled sort of into some local groups, having a good job. Having good to awesome dates with my Daddy. Having not so great ending dates with others.   Right now mostly stressing about work and a few other things. 

 

 I just really felt like I needed to write something else besides my soon after new years post.


1/1/2011 11:39:54 AM

Ever since the Night of the Flip-flop spanking when I made Daddy dinner and surprised him completely with having prepared a Soy Chai Latte for each of us, we have had a spectacular time exploring my spanking kink and letting out His sadistic one. I am not sure what happened in communications and my reactions to previous spankings but for awhile Daddy didn't think I was all that into them. He mentioned that he previously thought that spankings were dull to/for me. I was a little shocked at that comment. But It's a New Year, Daddy and I have a way to communicate thoroughly what our Kinks are so that we don't suffer more of that kind of miscommunication/interpretation. Plus I don't think Daddy is going to forget any time soon how hotttt being spanked by my flip-flops made me that special night last year.

 

Anyway we went to another play party, where Daddy and I were the first to use the Dungeon area. He used the crop, a slapper, and a thick red flogger and left me very warm bottom and backed. I used to think before we started playing that I didn't want my back to be abused in such manner and that I would prefer my spankings just be on my ass, but I got to tell you the sensations from having my whole back with spots of red, and then having those areas rubbed and scratched is wonderful and amazing. I think he thought we would do another session but then the dungeon got crazy busy, then Midnight was rolling along, which we had to cheer in 2011 of course. (and he wanted his kiss). 

 

I am so happy to be getting bruised and marked by my Daddy. I am feeling like he must be in a better mood and place despite being in search of work atm, because I had felt like previously all our discussions about our bdsm interests were pushed to the wayside for a combined lack of energy and desperate lust. But now I feel like we are acting out our discussions more. *YAY*

 

I have been very happy with the past few weeks of seeing my Daddy, I know that he has had fun turning me red and leaving bruises.  *We just need a photographer, so I can better appreciate the colors he turns me. and he can see the bruising that carries the next day and beyond.* :D  And I need some more mirrors in my apartment.
;)

 

Love you so much Daddy.

 

Your Houri girl.


12/15/2010 9:10:44 PM

It was a Good good night. :D YAY Thank you Daddy. He surprised me by coming into my apartment just as I am finishing up getting ready for our date night, tonight. EEEK!  Then he told me that I was overdressed, and made me take my pants down. He started to spank me with a new implement. I had to guess what it was while he was using it. . . That was interesting. (My flip flop). I guessed a slipper and he said you could call it a sort of slipper. That didn't really mean anything to me.  I did finally get that it was a flip flop. My butt was already a nice shade of red though.

 

Then Daddy gets me into a better position and starts trying to enter my rosebud. He stops after maybe getting the head in and stroking to me moaning... and then asks for lube. So I get out the tingling lube that he got when he first came to visit. He uses it and fucks me good and hard. (Turns out that's not a good lube for Him + anal.) Oopsy, lol.

 

Then we go out to dinner. Good food, not bad conversation; although I never did find out what something he mentioned regarding CONvergence was. (i think that's what it regarded anyway, lol)  The point there is that we got to spend the time together and had a good time. Then we get back to my place and daddy and I just has sex. Followed by me cleaning him and some lessons in a different way to perform orally. (Still talking sex of course ;) ). 

 

Followed by more spank play. Oohh, how my ass is burny; and in the best ways. :D MMMMmmmmmmm. I also have a couple bite marks.

 

He even spanked my pussy and my clit...OOoch that one stung lots. . . but they both got me all wet. (as if I was dry?)

 

I love my Daddy.

 

Thank you so much for tonight!!!!!!!!

 

Your Houri.

 


9/12/2010 4:03:25 PM
I went to another Party last night. my Dom showed up too...that was awesome. Just seeing him walk in to the location made me uber happy. It was a wonderful night for both of us, we got a chance to really cuddle and he got to show me off, and make me utter all of my "adorable" noises. He spanked me until the wooden brush broke, which happened somewhat early on. We did throat play which allowed him and I both a chance to explore my feelings about it, and turns out it's a huge turn on. I think that is because it's an excellent example of a power play where Daddy "proves" that he is in control and not just stronger than me, but has my life in his hands. (IN lots of ways).  I can't be sure, what I know his his hands around my throat make me go all weak in the knee.  Pretty sure he thinks it's cool that I trust him to let him manipulate his hands there.

There was more at the party, but I mostly stayed with Daddy because we don't really see that much of each others. I probably would have at least attempted more flirting had one guy I'm crushing on been there but he wasn't.

I'm going to stop writing now,

*hugs and kisses*
~Houri~

8/28/2010 11:35:03 AM
Sorry if my last journal entry reads funny. I guess I was pretty excited when I wrote it. My journal became a dumping of my thoughts.

I am writing this entry primarily to say that I think a new profile entry is on it's way. I am planning to blend one I had before and the current one in clever ways.

I really liked a few things I said in the last one, and some new discoveries have lead to it ringing even more true.

It would help if I had books that Master had read to compare instead of books that I have read and he hasn't. But over-all the profile description covers what needs to be covered.

In the world of what is new with me, not too much yet. Found a place on my neck that didn't like very much of the massage from the TENS unit... and that was at two.

Wishing I had a bit more energy and had heard from a job opp I thought was going to call. I guess I'll call them Monday but  :(. I was so sure they'd call me!!!

Love you M'lord,
~Houri~



8/26/2010 2:20:33 PM
So, I got suckered into buying, basically a TENS unit at the Mall the other day. Daddy and I went out to dinner yesterday after I had bought it, and I showed it to him. Then we had a really good night without involving said device. Which lead to him taking me and my girlfriend his other sub, out to dinner. IT was a good time, I should not have eaten all that icecream and stuff, but it was nummy. Not a good excuse, and that kind of eatting choice can not continue if I am serious about wanting to be in better shape. Which I am. 

What I really wanted to talk about was my new toy. I got it out today after waking up later than intended and played iwth it for awhile. I put it in various spots to see what my reactions would be. I had felt what it was like on my shoulders, so I started with it on my thighs. That felt pretty nice. Then I decided to put the bigger pads on my biceps. Which was a weird feeling. II also put them higher on my inner thigh and that felt pretty nice. On my feet I got a more intense massage that relaxed all over each foot. I also put it near my collar bone and that had a nice massaging feel to it. I placed them on my calves but that felt a little more intense and not so great. I put them on my elbow, and guess what? It was tickly feeling. Especially the pad that I had put a little too close to my actual elbow *meaning closer than I intended*

I like my TENS unit toy. I may have paid more than deals I could get on one, but I think I did ok with buying it. I can see Master having lots of fun with it.

Just please do not turn the strength up past four... Pretty please do not do it!!! It becomes very hurty then.

Not in the good hurty kind of way either.  *oops, why do i feel inclined to tell a sadist this kind of things?*

Other than one detail from last nights get together I am done here. I really liked it when Master had grabbed my shoulder area and squeezed fairly tightly, not choking, but kind of close to the throat/neck, a little edgy, totally dominating...... Mmmmmmmmmmm. So possessive, so controlling....I think that alone would have been enough to send me on a round trip to pluto. :D

I Love you, M'lord.

~Houri~

8/23/2010 4:52:12 PM
If I am not black and I am not white do I have to be gray? If I am not land and I am not sky, do I have to be the sea?  Ok, enough poetry, on to the actual journal entry.

I am having trouble figuring myself out. Which is really not surprising I've been doing loops of different kinds for awhile now.  Still it is of interest to note that I am currently uncertain about switching or being Submissive to Dom males and being Dom with others. Am I shifting because it pleases the guy of the moment *or of choice* or because it makes me happy to do so? Does it matter as long as all parties involved are happy with it?

Well one thing I wonder is if I would really be happy being a Dominant. I love being pushed down, tied up, spanked, commanded, taken, used.  Am I able to turn around and enjoy just as much the art of tying someone down of teasing and tormenting them. Of giving them pleasure? The same way that My Dom does for me? Or in any kind of like manner?

I do not know these things.
Master thinks that I would like making someone else squirm, because he has seen me enjoy it with other female subs.

Are there just some people that will bring out one side or the other and I can roll with those punches and learn to be at least as good at dominating as I am at submitting?
Is this all urged on by the fact that I met someone who I kind liked right away who's a switch?  Or the more I get to know me and get involved in the lifestyle am I seeing a chance for another kind of enjoyment?

On top of this desire to explore or this acceptance of the existence within myself of a Dominatrix personality, is a desire to deepen the Dom/sub aspects of the relationship I have with M'lord.

So I am not sure where I am right now, other than in a small state of confusion. This does nothing to land me a job, find me an apartment or get me a car and driver's license to match though. Therefore perhaps we can set it aside and focus just a little bit harder on what matters more.


I love you M'lord.
~Houri~

8/19/2010 10:01:08 AM
I finally decided that I should journal about my experience. I went to a group tubing event which was awesome in and of itself. But that was followed by a play party. Of which all I will say, and possibly more than I am supposed to was that watching other people scening got me really wet. Well that and I met this really cool guy that I am feeling lucky to be friends with at this point.

So then I get home to my girlfriend's where I'm staying for the time being, and she asks how my night was, then we start playing with each other. We get undressed and I go at her for awhile. When I quit and we are kissing a bit she tells me to trade her places.

During her playing with me, licking my clit I am crying out, mewing, and other unnatural noises. Then she starts fingering me and Mmmmm, it felt so wonderful. Then I felt that weird feeling, like a gland is swelling up against her fingers, like fluid is building behind this damn. She is fingering me harder and it feels great but somewhere in the midst of my orgasm I remember that I can only squirt if the object in this case her finger is removed. somehow I manage to make the request vocal, I said hold on slow down. Then I said ok, slowly remove your finger, I'm gonna squirt.  And she did and it was incredible letting that intense orgasm go for her. 

Following that I've been tired, and kind of unmotivated... I loved the experience, but maybe it was all too much to clustered together and being followed by not too much of interest.

I Love you, M'lord.
~Houri~

8/7/2010 10:41:32 AM
 Just thinking I should write a new journal entry. Been out putting in job applications. Staying away from those jobs that would be fun but border on scary. Things like topless clubs, strip joints and the like.  I suppose if M'lord and I were able to scope them out some before I looked into working there they might appeal a bit more.  Also there is the working late and getting home issue.

I did have an interesting fantasy about one such place. M'lord went to the job interview with me. During a part of the process they had me strip naked for an inspection. During which the interviewer tested my reactions by pinching my nipples, rubbing my neck, and stroking my clit. After these tests M'lord said "Wait, watch this" and made me give him my hand. He manipulated me into weak knees and panting near orgasm. Then in another room I met "the boss" who was tall and very muscular. He made me lay face first on the bed and spanked me with a few hard swats of his hands. He and M'lord then double penetrated me.  His hard cock penetrating my anus and M'lord taking my sopping wet pussy. The boss finished pulling out and coating my back with his cum.
The dream dissolved before I found out if I was hired but based on having sex with the main boss it is highly probable.


7/20/2010 6:35:56 PM
So it's been a few weeks now since I got moved up here. I am still just as lost as ever, at least I feel that way (making my way through/around town that is). I have been working on re-writing my resume' but it is turning out to be a rather frustrating process of re-self examination. Not only am I struggling to decide on a style, I am also seeking job skills based information I can put in it.
I have settled in to the wrong kind of a routine around here, which makes me feel about useless because I need to be working more, even if it is more housework and just filling out application forms. I really need to get something finished that I have started whether it's reading my book *currently misplaced* or it is the resume' re-write. I need a sense of accomplishiment. That I am doing more than hanging out and shopping. Bummin' even.
Time to get on the job hunt and then start the apartment hunt. Time to stop the internet distraction and trap and start getting stuff done.  Although I did get my laundry done today, so that's a good positive.

I love you, M'lord. *hugs and kisses.*
~Houri~

7/11/2010 4:17:23 PM

It has only been about a week, there really isn't much new to write here. I had a great time with two people M'lord knows fairly well. I spent two nights with one of them and gained a knowledge that I like being bitten as the intense experience of his teeth biting down into my skin lead me to writhing and squirming in pleasure. Then this mind-reading Dom took me and his mostly drunk self outside to the smoking patio and forced me against a wall where he bit into me and made me squeel for the audience, pulled my head back by the hair and growled a fine fantasy into my ears that had me totally mind-fucked. I stood there, barely on my own rubbing his butt and embracing him as he whispers about a club and a St.Andrews cross, tying me too it and flogging me, watching my eyes grow cloudy and biting me again, telling me how there'd be an audience... as the smokers are cheering him on, teasing us. Then we move on and go back inside where he tells me how badly he wants to fuck me. To the which I reply that I am not sure we have permission for that. There was a dawning where he realized M'lord was my primary and we went and sought him to obtain permission. Mostly because I wasn't too sure where he stood on me and Mr. Mindreader.  He took me back to my room b/c I told him that part of it would probably be empty; which it was. That is when he fucked me and added a couple more bite marks, most all of them in the shoulder area.  The following night we did similar he got drunk,  I had a few light drinks and then we went to my room again; Here he had me strip and took a more Dom, slave approach to some foreplay. He had me get off the bed, and stand in positions; he had to show me how to stand first because as that is not part of normal "play" for M'lord and I. He wanted me to give him a blow job from the kneeling position and I took him all in just fine but then I started to choke and he pulled out. He said he was impressed, but was done with that exercise when I said that I was ok, he had me climb back into the bed on my hands and knees. He began to spank me, and He has powerful spanking hands. After taking a few as he was giving them one right after he next, I breathlessly said please...slow...down...I need...more time...to absorb them. And he did. Then he made me count ten out. He said that he was impressed again. I don't know why; except that his spankings were very hard, and I managed to stay pretty still. Eventually he bit my breasts and then we fucked.

Then I got to play with another of M'lords friends toward the end of CON. Oddly enough that morning I was swimming with his daughter. He had fun just rubbing me all over and discovering the little places like the backs of my knees that make me squirm and moan. He found a few weird ones but I don't remember where they were...sorry M'lord, It was relaxing and nice to just talk and explore each other's bodies. Then we had sex, later on after more talking and cuddling and exploring, I got him hard and he told me how to play with his cock to get him to cum. I got to drink from his black fountain of juicy white cum it was a very nice picture. I licked up the little bit of mess we'd made and sucked down all his juicy cum.

Then in the morning we had a little more sex and I made him cum for me again.

M'lord had arranged for his second friend and I to have sex and get together as it were before ConVergence started he thought that it would help this friend feel good about himself again.

Now I am working on what all it means to be M'lord's and How all our relationship dynamics might work. It's enough to hurt my head somedays, lol. But I'm still loving living here in the cities.

This is the update on subbing that took me awhile to get out there. No names shall be revealed so think not to ask for them.

I Love you M'lord.

~Houri~


7/7/2010 8:14:00 AM
Wow what a weekend. I had a really good time at ConVergence, even though M'lord was fairly busy running the show from two ends. I am really tired right now and this screen isn't helping though. So the details that I plan to put in I will add later. I met a very large group of people at CON who are into the lifestyle. That was a nice breakfast of those in attendance, and a good way to start the CON. *cuz then you would bump into people and actually recognize them from the breakfast throughout what remained of the weekend.

I have stumbled into a challenge in meeting one of several of M'lords good friends in not only the capacity of "what kinds of details aobut what we've done" does M'lord care to know. The answer of which I had to learn in a somewhat rough manner. He wants to hear about Everything of course. ;) Updates to come M'lord I promises.  But the bigger challenge comes by accident, no by happenstance...there are no accidents of this nature in life.  I'm very attracted to and perhaps/probably starting to fall "In like" with one of his friends who has a tendency to distance himself from girls he likes.

6/24/2010 11:36:37 AM
We are so close to be done. Is that why I find myself slacking off, procrastinating at best? 
 
People are stopping over asking me if they can help me out. But is there really anything for them to do? I don't think so although I can admit that there is a bit more work than I might be willing to admit. It's all waiting in a soaking wet basement! But Mostly I just have to finish that little bit of packing in my bedroom.

Plus I still have all of today and tomorrow to live in the apartment, so I can't get rid of my blankies or my pillows as far as packing goes.

I am very excited to see Master and my new girlfriend/sister sub on Saturday though. That is going to be great, so is being on the road with them. :D I just can't wait. I am just really excited for the whole move. It will be the furthest I've been from my parents for more than a year, and I just know we'll have a blast being close together finally. Like a little submissive and her Lord should be.

I am still in a bit of shock about this moving thing. My apartment is looking so bare. *and we haven't loaded up the moving truck yet. haha.*

I can't wait to see you M'lord.

~Houri~

6/21/2010 3:05:39 PM
So, I realized as I finish up packing I have a problem, yeah,I have run out of boxes after sixty or more. But those are easy enough to come by. NO my problem is a problem 90% of America and a much smaller percent in other countries suffer from. I have too much crap.
And the bad thing is that I packed it up because for one reason or another I wanted it. I find it useful. This minimalist portion of me wants to go through the packed boxes, extract a dozen or so, and say that I don't need whatever is in the rest. None-the-less good reason says I've been going through everything while I was packing and so I must need what I have kept and packed. OR else have a very strong desire to keep it. And so it is that the minimalist side loses.

So why do I need to keep all of these things. WHy do I have trouble letting go of that which I don't want or really need? What is the deal here? It's simple really... You see, I love to cook so I need the pots and pans and all the extras especially frosting tips and cake pans for baking. I also love to draw, paint, or craft so I need the paper products the scissors, glue, pens, pencils, paints, brushes, etc. and the kid in me needs the crayons and stampers too.  I enjoy various make up products and hair accessories. I wear and therefore need all my jewelry. Although I probably don't really need three jewelry boxes for it. I'm supposed to keep a hammer, screwdriver set, fire extinguishers, etc. They could be handy. I'm a very avid reader and the books I'm bringing are books I love, so of course I NEED them. I also need the bookmarks.
And so it is that I am a collector of much and some of it equals junk.

Oh one other problem is the closer I get to being done the less I want to do the work. I just want to relax. I want to BE DONE and not just close to done. I can't wait until Saturday, but yet I am so far from being ready inspite of all the boxes I've already packed up. One good day of work though, and some cleaning up and I know that I'll be done.

In getting ready to move I'm trying to decide what to do with some new or old but new toys for My Lord and I to play with. I think I'll pack one in my for CON bag(s) and I will keep the other one in with my clothes box.  Tomorrow I'm going to do my last laundry here, and then pack that all up. Then I can just deal with the rest of the stuff that needs boxed.  SO excited and yet tired. lol.

~Houri~

6/18/2010 3:27:53 PM
I am working really hard and with the help of some of my friends I can really see that I am getting ready to move. I can feel like progress is being made in getting the apartment cleared and as I do so more and more each day, I am growing more excited to finally be moving to where My Lord and Master will be. we will see each other so much more often that way,and neither one of us can wait for that to happen. YAY!!!!!

So many happy thoughts tumbling through my mind. Unfortunately sometimes those thoughts get me distracted from the work I am needing to stay on top of though. But I am getting it done. This is all really happening!!!!!!!

Houri

6/14/2010 8:28:22 PM
 So I spent last week hanging out with my family it was pretty cool. Then I went through and sorted things I thought I would need or want alot at my new place from my childhood room. That was real fun. haha. It did go alright though.

I found out a little more about the plans to get me to Minnesota so that feels a little better. I am trying to stay on top of the game, but there are so many things that keep interrupting. Realtor issues, over-thinking and under-acting. Trying to get things so taht they are organized for the most part, etc. So I am fighting all of that. But it's ok starting tomorrow I will be having some help, and that should do the trick.

I can't wait to see the rooms really start emptying out, then I think I know that I am all packed up.

I am so excited to move into the same location with my Dom. Our almost two year long online relationship will begin to feel more vibrant and real. Not that it's fake or anything, but it'll be nice to be face to face a ton more than we have been so far able to get together. Plus we have a few really fun, really kinky CON "plans" that we discussed. I am very excited to contemplate their fruition.

I gotta get back to that packing stuff now.

~Houri~

6/2/2010 9:21:15 PM

       Oh my goodness. So now I am moving up to MN before CON I am going to clear my stuff from the apartment on June 25th. Then I am going to be staying somewhere with friends for a while. Until I can get a job and find an apartment to settle into. 
       Crazy things happen sometimes I guess. I was getting fed up with my old job, tired of the stress level that soem drama stuff wasn't helping only to find out a few days later that I don't have that job anymore. Downsizing.
      So now we are scrambling to make the best possible arrangements for me, and I kind of feel at a loss on my end. I need to do all the packing and cleaning, but wish there were more I could do. Still the packing and cleaning should consume all my time. I want to do it effectively and efficiently. That can't be just hodge-podge and rushed.
        I also have a lot of junk that I want to sell or otherwise get rid of before the big move.
    I can't wait to be back up north with M'lord and his other sub. I am uber excited about it, but I am also a little scared/nervous for a few things working out. Finances are one issue and there are also the problems of places to stay, job, and transportation. But we will sort that all out. I have to have faith in that.


5/27/2010 11:34:46 AM

                   So I had a lot I was supposed to get done yesterday so that I could work on other things today. I failed to do that. I got wrapped up "reading." Actually I did manage to finish a book. And Technically it is CON research since I am reading one of the guest Author's novels. *Well what I found of what my sister had of them anyway* L.A. Banks. I picked up one of them just to see what her writings were like.
     I got caught up in them... So apparently really good haha. That is if you like Sci-fi, Fantasy; and particularly the realm of Vampires. It also almost has a spiritual depth that makes me want to compare it to
National Treasure, except the links are to the underworld rather than hidden treasure.
     What I really wanted to write about though was how life is going, and some decisions I've come to. I am getting a cat, hopefully today later. :D I'm moving to MN and possibly starting school in the Fall Term. I still have to make that phone call. Before the move I have alot of both my stuff and my sister's to purge. *Got a whole room "full" of stuff to donate, sell or otherwise dispose of since before she even left*
     Lately M'lord has been sending me little one line messages that make me want Him so very badly that it's almost cruel. *Which in no way shape or form should be mistaken as me wanting him to stop.*  Right now they seem to be the drug that is keeping me going. I got to get up and ready for work so that I can see what delicious little tid-bit he sent me. These little lines have sent me off fantasizing about him, imagining what life will be when I move to MN, and built on my natural sexual cravings.
      I shared some things about M'lord and I's relationship with my little sister, that was maybe more than she understood, but she was curious and I figured I could trust her. More than I would ever trust my older sister. I think that my little sister is cool with what I  told her though. Man, I still can't believe she is eighteen and gonna be nineteen soon.  I hope if she runs off she does good with her life. She has always had more ambitions than one person can follow at once. I don't want her to lose that, just embrace one thing at a time. 
      I guess the only thing left to say is that I am very excited about moving up to Minnesota so that I can more frequently be with M'lord. Because I don't know how either of us really survived this last year of living so far apart.


4/30/2010 3:47:55 PM

I had an interesting day at work today. I won't go into details but for the first time I actually enjoyed myself while working. OK so we were a bit slow, that's not it, just work was pleasant again, no one was being bitchy. Pardon my language.
On top of that interesting thoughts were spiraling around and not just from inside of my head.

So last night I read something a bit disturbing to me about the TEA PARTY rally in Quincy. Everyone can read about it on Youtube, but I am not linking you to it. Needless to say to me that's "close to home." I have friends I suspect were at that rally. . . I support the TEA PARTY movement in thought at any rate.  I understand knowing that President Obama was in Quincy too, but if something had gone wrong somehow......I felt like I was so close to have not even known anything about it.
I was really feeling the need for hugs after reading it, though it took me a few to realize it had happened the day before I was reading about it and not that day.

I miss M'lord and my new girlfriend something awful, I want to wake up with either of them or better yet both of them beside me. I want to know that they are a phone call away provided they are available *HEY I know life happens*  I want to live in a town and community where I can walk around in short skirts and tight revealing tops and people don't mind so much. Where you can mention spanking and not have jaws drop and worse.  I want to truly be a part of M'lord's life, and not just able to email him brief clean things about what's going on.

I love M'lord and Master.
~Houri~


4/25/2010 9:53:20 PM

Well, It turned out to be a pretty darn nice week inspite of everything!

I had a great first night in town with M'lord. We had amazing sex and I got to give him Oral for the first time. I think we both really enjoyed that. Yay that my jaw behaved properly to allow me to perform.

The next two days were nice got to see some of MN including a library ;) and exchanging an e-mail with a guy who must not have wanted it very bad, and visiting the Mall of America where I managed to spend too much, meh. I like the things I bought and really I spent what I said I could and nothing more.

Then on Friday, awesome things happened. I got to meet another of M'lords submissives on Wednesday but it wasn't until Friday that we got to doing sexual things with each other.  Mmmmmmmmmm I initiated things b/c my Dom was just not having the best of times, and I really wanted us to have some fun before we left. Also I knew he kind of hoped to see me get kinky/sexual with his other sub-girl. I bought a game with the three of us in mind and determined we would play it that night. So we did and it ended very wonderfully. Wow, the things I felt and learned that night. I had really intense orgasm(s) and on top of that i found out about aftershocks and def. entered subspace a few times. Wowzers.

Aftershocks are pretty crazy, and yes, I definately love spank play, use any implement but please not the Crop, not hard... and maybe not across the shoulders at all.
The cane wasn't as sharp and awful as I'd have thought, but I'm betting it CAN be.
Whipping my pussy is definately in... from the top/front is probably an easier position to get it good though.

Ok, so you want to play a little bit of breathplay, and push the limits, I trust you M'lord. It was a little bit intoxicating...but then I was already on a huge sexual edge. Maybe we have to try again when I am not so far gone and see what I think, or maybe being on edge to start with is part of the point? I don't know, but we do have to be careful with something so potentially dangerous.

I liked what we did a ton, a ton, a ton. It left me wanting more and more and more... though.

I Loved being dressed up all slutty at Friday's that was neat, and the scarf bondage on my arms just gave it an extra kick of taboo. That's the life that I want to live, not this exclusively church oriented, sex-life on the back burner facade the small town community forces me to live.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH M'LORD.

Houri.



3/30/2010 9:01:55 PM
 I just wanted to say that I'm a happy girl.  I have to figure it all out, but I am planning to make a trip up to see M'lord. And that just has me thrilled. I realized that although I may not be getting the work hours I want there is  plenty to do around my home.  So maybe I will take the opportunity and make of it what it can be. A chance to organize myself and cleaning efforts, due up the dishes. Work on my schedule, attend things outside of work. Cook yummy food as slow as it should be... bake things. 

I'm happy that I'll be going to Mn soon, so very soon.

Houri.



3/23/2010 11:43:29 AM

I don't know, hopefully the background color really is black. I can't see setting that, but w/e.

What I really want to say in this journal is, Men, Dominants of both sexes; it is not attractive and attention getting to lead me through your fantasy when I Don't even KNOW You. Especially if that fantasy might not be something i'm interested in. OR neglects acknowledging my profile belongs to a couple and you are not just addressing me with said fantasy.

I highly doubt you know of any one's Dominant who would want them recieving random letters involving a fantasy that walks all over their existance as the Dom in the relationship.


OR is that just me being naive?

~doesn't think so~

Sorry m'lord, I did feel the need to rant, of course I will fill you in later.

Miss you so much,
Houri.


2/18/2010 8:35:32 PM
So, I have been gone for a short while. My computer was down. I didn't trust the library's computers security for sites like this.

What else is new? Not much. I want winter here to be over, but it seems to have other plans. I need it to warm up; I need work to pick up and stay up. I need better hours, more money, less bills.

I want to save for a car, a rainy day, and a few other things. I need the car though. *shrug* I'm doing alright I guess without, but to be able to take trips etc, especially when I was off for a few days in a row...... man would that be nice.

Especially being as M'lord and I aren't close to each other right now. :( but alas, it is not so.

houri.

12/2/2009 3:23:30 PM
Argh!!! So last night against my will I had a totally bad reaction to what should have been nothing. I want to blame it on being up at one thirty am. I wish I could. And maybe I should move on rather than write about it.

I saw a profile on here and I just broke down, it was almost instantaneous. It's been...four plus years, so why should it hurt so much? It shouldn't... but I sort of know why it sometimes does.

He wasn't just my first, my first "true love",  my first ex, my first master, my first....everything; He also told me that he didn't think he was the master I needed him to be; and he didn't think he could be.

Yet here lies his profile on CM floating around. Pictures with someone else in his arms, oh, I'm sure of what I saw. And that was it. Like we broke up yesterday.

 Why isn't this painful journey over yet? Why can't I cut off all the roads to memory lane? Why is it sometimes so fresh and sharp... so out of my hands.

It's over and that's how I want it.  We simply weren't working. We couldn't make it work. So why do I even bother looking back? And why do certain memories haunt me long past their welcome here?

I just don't understand it, don't understand ME...

Your Houri.

11/28/2009 4:20:55 PM
A dream... but it shouldn't have been... HIM. I totally had a bdsm related dream. I was going to be in a play; and my "Master" and I were really making out and teasing each other all the way to the building it would be shown at. It wasn't a theater or a real play, more like a church function. But the date; that is when things get all screwed up. It was a dream I know, but all day since I woke up remembering it's bothered me. It should have been you kissing me so deep and saying see you soon as we arrived to the right room. Instead I look at him as he retreats to the "audience" section.

It's J.K. It shouldn't have been him. He wouldn't have done that, I don't imagine. He wouldn't be into this lifestyle.

Does this dream mean anything, or is it just a dream.  Maybe I've been thinking of him a bit cuz he's got a baby on the way in March. I don't know it bugs me.

Weirdly group scenes that don't involve you or a clear picture of the guy(s) i'm with don't bother me at all. But this does.

Whatever. He's married and besides... I want you!!!!!

Another journal entry more to M'lord than the general populace.

Your Houri.

11/21/2009 2:52:40 PM
Yesterday M'lord had some disputes at home and so he had more work to do than he wanted this morning. He didn't get to talk with me last night. I  am afraid he may not be on again tonight but will be grateful if he does get that opportunity. He and his family are going on a cruise and I won't get to talk to him too much while he's gone. He gets back around Dec. 9th. So it will be a little while. I am so used to talking to him almost every night that this is going to be a hardship I think on both of us. I know I will be missing him terribly. So, I've decided i should keep a journal and that will help us catch up better when he returns. It will also hopefully make me feel less alone and miss him less though I shall miss him more for his absence.

Anyway, I am just hoping his last night around will be one that we can talk and discuss tings before he heads off. I can't wait to see him hopefully after he gets back though. And of course I can't begrudge him spending special time with his family. I sure spend a lot with mine.

I miss you M'lord. Your dear sweet Houri wench.

11/6/2009 9:57:26 AM
            Just last night M'Lord asked me the 2nd most profound question we must ask ourselves upon discovering this, the bdsm community and our interest within. The first is Are we Dom, Sub, or Switch.  This second comes when we recognize our submissive tendencies.
         Are we submissive or slave? Is there a correct fundamental guideline to how we reach the answer?  For me I based some research in the Gorean approach to slave and Free. I also based my research on how those on communities like Collarme and others treated slaves versus subs. 
        M'lord then explained his own views on the matter, that just as individuals must build their relationship to their satisfaction, so it is with what a slave does, or must do. The protocol to follow if you will. M'lord then suggested one small yet significant thing that would make the difference of whether or not someone is sub versus slave. He told me it was the need to serve; versus wanting to serve b/c "it is fun."
     It all started when M'lord  asked me "Are you sure you are not my slave?" after a comment I made. I thought he was being playful...but it turns out he has been thinking about this alot more than I have. I thought it was a matter that was "solved"  I was too vocal, and too strong willed to ever be considered a slave. I told him, of course we could talk about it.
      Now   that I've slept on it, I have a few more things to say. 1. Does it matter what we call my relationship to him? (between us, especially)  2. would being his slave instead of his submissive change how he treats me or how we interact? (if so how, and maybe why)  3. my submission as his slave wouldn't change  who I am as his submissive. 4. If i took on the label of slave would that negatively affect the opinions others have of me, us, and especially him as a Dom?  (because i  don't think I   could  even stand the thought of bringing  him shame) Even if the harsh criticisms of others don't bother him and shouldn't me.
5. Shakespeare says it best "A name, what is in a name, would not a rose by any other name smell as sweet?"  Calling me slave, slut,Houri ,wench, or just your submissive does not change my nature,or again who I am.   Or maybe I am all wrong.
Maybe identifying my true nature, whether I need to serve or just want too;does change the dynamics? Maybe it gives you a better since of what I desire and need from you,   maybe it would change everything about who we are to one another in how satisfying our interactions are of the needs held?
I said that I had thought that this problem was "solved" and didn't need to be further examined; I guess I misspoke in so saying. I have, the last week or so had flashing thoughts...a yearning to explore what might/would be different if M'lord treated me more as his slave instead of his submissive wench. But it has not lasted even long enough to bring up to him. In a way I thought first we have to hold each other again, then we can better explore these things.
Do I feel like I have a need to serve beyond what scripture says is our Christian duty to another?
Or is it something that I do because it's fun? or otherwise fulfilling but without an urgent/dire/desperation; as someone without air or food or shelter has.

I really have been working on that one for quite some time. Since my ex and before. I think I can say with some  certainty that it is a Need.

Does that  really change anything?

more pondering and thinking to come.

10/27/2009 7:16:28 AM
Masters and Dominants in MN and elsewhere, I am adding profiles I like to my favorites list for this reason. I am not ready to try you out, i am not ready to conversate at this point in my rediscovery. What I am doing is collecting by adding you to my favorites a list of profiles that sound interesting. And who knows when I get around to e=mailing you, maybe you will still be gone.

But it is really hard to find a profile you stumbled across if you didn't remember or write down the name.  So as your profile catches my attention I may click add to favorites. But I am still not sure how Master desires me to approach that which we ultimately seek.  In a way He would be the completion of our couplings. Master has his wife, and He would be my husband. Master's wife is vanilla though, so not a part of our world and has given Master support in his need to Dominate.

So I am sorry if you feel it weird or notice that I have added you to my favorites and wonder why.

IF you are bold enough to send me an email message having been added as a favorite, I will try to politely answer your questions, but I will probably be awkward with conversation. I don't want to draw to close to anyone at this early stage in Master and I's relationship.

Sorry M'lord, I know it isn't customary to call you Master, but thought it sounded better in this address. Some how both more Commanding and more widely accepted I suppose.

I miss you M'lord and can't wait until we next meet.

Hugs and Kisses,
Your Houri.

10/25/2009 11:23:34 AM
I was writing yesterday... and then my computer crashed and all my words were lost.

I have a lot of things still going through my mind when I let myself think.

Mostly though I am this horny sex craving, spanking deprived blank minded; totally obsessed shell... that's how I feel.

Yet I am so very uber happy when I think about things like getting involved in a local group eventually, and having a Collaring ceremony. I hope these things will become more than words and fantasies. I know I can trust you to stay a Dom, My Dominant, but still things of the past echo empty promises back at me. Still my head and my heart argue back, That you M'lord didn't fail to spank me hard, and if you can manage to fulfill that simple act, then I should know that I can trust you will fulfill the rest, given a good chance. (as we do never now the twists the future might bring...)

And so, I'm eager and excited with a hint of fear...

So... remind me to tell you about church today later... when I get out my notes and have reviewed them. I was just uncomfortable feeling sluttish and so horny. And that made me listen with a kind of bratty orneriness...making things as they shouldn't ought to be. First person who spoke to me and the conversation with SM before, didn't help matters either.

Details to M'lord later in private.

I want so badly to just give up life here and move to be with you...oh I wish it could be that easy... yet I know the reasons I must stay. So torn between what I must do and what I long to do.

Your Houri.

10/23/2009 7:37:43 PM
Ok lots on my mind. First what do I want in a collaring ceremony. It's been a year, and I have resisted too long. And we have made progress since then. Still I am uncertain of details like living arrangements, how to get to MN from IL and silly little things.

I am happy that M'lord and I are on the same page of thinking of having a collaring ceremony though. Now I just need to make the big decisions on what kind I want.

I think I know, but I don't want to have it be lame because I didn't know of certain possibilities or expectations.

M'lord had a couple great ideas when we were talking about it.  I have done the research I could find, and am very sad to see that Castlerealm as it was when I first saw it is no more. I know most of what I do about being a submissive thanks to that great but now dead web page.

We will have a symbolic key perhaps that we exchange one to the other. I will have the key to His heart, and he will have the key to my sensual, sexual, submissiveness, the key to my ultimate discovery of self.

Then for a collar I think we are going with a bracelet or maybe an anklet we have need to discuss this further. I rather like the idea of an anklet over a bracelet, but either will suffice.

Instead of a leash I am to make master a paddle, I thought maybe a frat paddle as I know how much he wants one. It would have His initials and my name on the topside, maybe not real name, maybe just Houri wench... I don't know yet. It will be at least 14 inches long *Ooouuuch* I have yet to decide how thick to make it. I will research that more. I am thinkin git should be three inches at least in width. but I may find a different dimension is recommended. One problem, I don't have access to wood working equipment, and I can't ask dad to borrow his. He'd want to know what for. Oh, just making my Dom a paddle to use on my arse. Yeah, no.

Although Grandma and Ken are gone for a prolonged period of time...still I have to get the key from Mom...
(He has extensive wood working tools).

Also don't think I want to be tattooed at the ceremony but it might be cool to reveal at least one of the two tatts we discussed during it. like ungauze it, or what not. If I were to pick which I would say his property one.

I think it would be cool to have some kind of sex during the recessional part of the ceremony be it oral, or vaginal, be it orgyesque or just us.

I want to write our vows so that it fits who we are and want to be as a D/s couple, what M'lord Whipkeeper means to me, and what He wants my submission to mean and develop into.

I wouldn't mind an exchange of symbolic rings but does he wear his over his wedding band, or do we pick a different finger or use the other hand? Maybe it would just be better to skip the rings?


Ok, so I confess I'm greedy. I want a Dom, a Husband and just maybe a pet. Talking with him tonight has sure been fun, but can I be what he desires? Do I want to, would it feel right? He has sparked my imagination enough I might consider it. Weird it's not a fetish I would think of being into. I wonder what M'lord would think of that. Taking a boi older than himself to be a pet. . . and one with the name "abellypunchee" to boot.

Maybe I was just bored today, maybe it's a way of being submissive in bringing another a kind of happiness they are having trouble finding... maybe it is all just intriqueing words. Maybe we should be looking into Male sub/switches? But oh how I do love to be dominated...

Gah, why am I always so confused...
I must be the most confusing/confusable person on earth.

Well I do know this, I want to be with M'lord. I want to keep him happy, and I want to grow under his love and care.







10/14/2009 7:56:09 PM
Hello to all  who read this entry. Unfortunately this is for M'lord, an therefore may bore the rest of you... sorry, but hey this is my journal right, you just get to peek in and read it.


An Ode to M'lord :

So you expected a poem
and thought it should rhyme
but I didn't have the words
and I didnt take the time.

I spent my work day thinking of you
I spent my time at choir practice
Reminded of how much you care for me
You made my day go faster
You kept my mind busy keeping up
You were there with me today
As I filled orders and cleaned the kitchen
You were there when I hurried through a meal
To get out to choir on time but was early
You have to be dead tired
Cuz you've explored every nook and cranny
Inside this little mind of mine...
Devious stories that I would plot
If I were writing or the dominatrix I'm not.
I laugh to think of my bosses in that role
Frustrations in my current life, yup you were there too.
And you were in the small joys I had
You were with me today, even though it was only in my mind.
And so now I wait for thee, hoping you'll be on.
I know that I can't wait ...until soon;
When I get to be held in your arms once more.
It means the world to me, just to hear you say that i'm your Houri.

And I wanted you to know
Whatever the future brings
I want you more than most things
And wish I'd never let you go.

See you soon, M'lord.

May you cherish this little note as much as I will always cherish the words you told me last night.






10/13/2009 8:03:06 PM
Well today I had a somewhat interesting, long talk with my dad on the car ride to their home town. It was about a half hour drive. Apparently parents are for moving back into their house when your job cuts it's/your hours and sucks anyway. When you can't afford to pay your rent and your gas, that's what parents are for.

Nah, I could never move back in with them. They have a three bedroom house, unfinished stanky basement, two dogs which are why the basement stinks, and two kids that live with them, a third that just left. It's a messy place, that I never could stand. I was depressed my entire childhood because my house was an embarassment. My parents are closed minded, wouldn't accept various parts of who I am, and besides that think I'm still a child.

So I am sitting here having gone through a myriad of emotions today, feeling worried, and or depressed that I might end up back in that small crowded space.  And I keep chanting and tellign myself that won't happen, and I won't let it. I left town for a reason when I rented this place and some of it was the freedome from being watched by my parents or their friends.

So I didn't go far, it was far enough not to have them down my back... I can't go back to that...

Not now, and Not ever. That wouldn't be progress, it would be regression.

So I'm not yet as successful as I would like to be, and I'm far from being well to do, but Dang it, at least I'm doing it on my own.

I will just have to look really hard these next few weeks whenever I can to find a secondary job to fill the void left by my first job.

I can do this, even if it means juggling three jobs; sucking up to bosses that I hate and struggling a bit, or losing a ton of "free time" This is not optional this is a must.

kind of good day my mind is turning into a crappy experience, bc well, it's just good at that.

 Did I mention maybe I am stressing out a little?



10/9/2009 7:17:18 PM
So, I am a little apprehensive about plans M'lord and I are making. OOh, don't get me wrong they all excite me very much, but at the same time...
What if other people don't think I'm sexy? (as in they openly mock and turn away, and are otherwise appaled?)
What about it will probably be chilly if not down right cold?

Lastly what if somehow things don't work out in our "favor"?

Also, where do we go/get the latex body paints from?  
I wouldn't put it past M'lord to have an answer to this one.

Me just questioning everything, maybe so as not to be too excited about everything.

10/5/2009 9:44:56 PM
This is in Honour of Halloween, but I created this page, knowing full well that I have a problem.

I didn't pick my religion in the spirituality section, but let's just say Chastity is high on their preaching topics. I use the term preaching loosely. I am not chaste, and the only way I've come to think of Chastity is the horror of someone putting one of those belts on me. . .

So the problem then... I want someone worthy of a church marriage; who is an experienced Dom into many kinky things. I don't want someone who's a porn addict. The thing is that I know the church marriage qualifications would make it so that either He lies to his church leaders; or He tries to abide by church principles.

So, message me if you think you can help with my little cunundrum. Of Course I want someone trustworthy, but how can I trust a man who lies to his church leaders... and maybe even vice versa. Since I too should live worthy for the church marriage, and not doing so would have to lie to my church leader(S) in order to qualify...

ARGH!

I want help without being attacked. So no, I won't share what my church beliefs are beyond what I have shared.

Yeah, I'm still young at 26, but NO you cannot save me!

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MsMelissa83
 
 Age: 38
  Florida