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Hetero Male Submissive, 31,  Maybee, Michigan
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PXaiver - submissive

PXaiver - photo 1

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 PXaiver

 Submissive Male

 Maybee 

 Michigan

 5' 11"

 210 lbs

 31

 Hetero

 Caucasian

 03/22/04

 01/17/12

Actively Seeking:

Dominant Female

Switch Women

Friends Only

 Loves:

 Art Galleries (Beginner)

 Coffee Shops  (Expert)

 Fine Dining (Beginner)

 Gambling

 Movies

 Renaissance Faires (Beginner)

 Travel (Beginner)

 Likes:

 Amusement Parks (Expert)

 Bar Hopping (Beginner)

 Clubbing (Beginner)

 Fishing (Beginner)

 Garage Sales (Beginner)

 Museums (Beginner)

 SCA (Beginner)

 Volunteerism

 Tolerates:

 Antique Shows

 Bird Watching

 Flea Markets

 Musical Theater

 Opera

 Shopping

 Hates:

 Raves

Well it's been a while since I've been on this site, but I thought I would give it another chance. I guess the best way to describe myself is a natural born submissive who likes to Dom every now and again. I'm not a lifestyle person. I'm looking for a woman who will be the dominant one in the relationship. I love pampering women with massages, nice dinners, and lots of cunnilingus. But just because I like to go out doesn't mean that I am a sugar daddy. I enjoy art and music, and I try to go to at least one concert a month. I've also been told I'm a fairly decent cook. Anyway, if you're looking for a down to earth guy who doesn't mind being flogged, I'm it. Happy Hunting Nathan

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Journal Entries:
3/18/2008 9:24:07 AM

So I sit here at Panera over a week removed from my trip to see the lovely PA, and I think about my life and how I feel.  I look back at the postings I made not so long ago, and I start to wonder how much has faded since then.  Well, a fair amount has, but it took me a long time to turn into the jaded and angry person that I once reveled in so I figure it will take me a little while to turn into that beautiful being that everyone saw a glimpse of. 

When I woke this morning, my thoughts went to putting into my two week notice and giving up a great job for the unknown.  To be honest the thought of being a massage therapist is still enticing, but I don’t seem to fancy it as much as I used to.  Who does the traveling shaman turn to when he needs healing?  It is, after all, much easier to prescribe the medicine than it is to take it.

Right now I want to write.  I want to work on the story that has been inside of me for so long yet I can’t seem to get out right.  Of course this is happening on a day where I wish to be absolutely no where, but I’m stuck dealing with Consoles and Controllers and DHR’s and NCMR’s and Batteries and... So instead of taking my lunch and getting out a few feverish words, I sit here and blog.  Yes it’s writing, but not the kind I need to be doing right now.  Instead, I’m reveling in my meloncholy world wishing the it to change, but doing nothing to make it happen.  I realize now that this is a major character flaw and one that needs to be corrected in the future.  Still with all the things that happened over that fateful weekend, I believe this to be the hangover from the party.  It took a week to catch up to me, but it’s hitting pretty hard.  To be honest, I wish I had a taskmaster leaning over my shoulder for a week to ensure that I put my stories to the digital equivalient of paper.  As I’m sure you can tell, my thoughts are a bit disjointed and in need of some direction, but these are the times when I’m most inspired.  Part of me wants to stay up all night writing, and go to work strung out on caffeene and sleep deprivation.  I know that the outcome would be wonderful, but that would screw up the plans for tomorrow.  I think that may be a problem for me as well.  I’m always trying to plan and live for tomorrow instead of of living for today.  My thoughts always have to be three steps ahead.  At times I find myself thinking of all probable outcomes and then making a decision based on which one I think will happen.  Of course when I do that, the actual outcome is one I never thought would have happened and my mind is left reeling as to how I couldn’t have thought it. 

Still, I have taken a few things from my weekend and started applying them to my everyday life.  I’m breathing better when I start to feel things become overbearing.  It may not seem like it with this post, but it did help me on Friday night.  You see I ran into an old friend at a local sports bar and he and I ended up hanging out for a while.  I had just assumed it would be the two of us for the night so I decided to liberaly drink.  Well, his cousin ended up showing up.  I had never met her before, and I was stunned by her beauty and maturity level for only being 21.  Normally, I would have clammed up in this situation, instead, I took a breath and let the conversation flow.  It was pleasant.  Unfortunately I didn’t get her number for reasons I’m not going to discuss here, but I feel that there’s a good possibility that we may meet up in the future.  Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m holding my head higher.  This is actually much more comfortable than the down-trodden PX of the past.  With that I’ve noticed that I’m getting noticed more.  There’s no ego boost like the one you get when you catch an attractive woman checking you out.  I actually had forgotten what that felt like....

Well, that’s enough rambling from me for now.  I’m actually starting to feel a little sun shine in the shadow that I’m sitting in, and the warmth feels pleasant.


Until next time...

PX


3/12/2008 4:24:49 PM
The Wanderlust of Percifal Xaiver 
With my recent trip to Kentucky for a visit to the lovely PaintedAugusta I rediscovered an aspect of my personality that has hid in a cave while I sorted things out in my head. You see, before I even thought about joining the navy, I wanted to travel. At 16 I was fortunate enough to tour Europe for 17 days and the memory of sitting in Montreaux Switzerland with Lake Geneva in the background, eating a brat, drinking a good German beer, smoking a Cuban cigar, while the Montreaux jazz festival roared on in front of me is something I thought I would never forget. Well, I ended up forgetting about it and I let my anger and frustration get in the way of what truely made me happy, travel. Actually I wouldn't really call it travel, I would call it more of a wanderlust. I'm a wind sign and I don't really care to stay in the same place for very long. The world is a big place and I want to see it all. I figure six months in any given city is enough to make some friends, see some things, and get a good idea of that area's culture. If I like the area, I can always come back to visit the friends I made.

So, where does that leave me? Well, right now I have a really good job where I indirectly help people live longer. I like it and I'm content, but there's no real adventure in my life. Granted I'm planning on taking a solo trip to Detroit on Saturday night to see The Vandals, but I'd rather have different types of adventure(this is a hint if any of you want to go to the show). That's why I'm really considering getting certified in Reiki, massage, and aroma therapy. I figure it's a job that I will enjoy, and I'll have the ability to pack up and leave whenever I get the urge. If I feel like visiting my friends in Washington, I could get a job and a place for six months, and then I could take off to a cruise ship if I get an urge to be on the sea. It just seems like the closest I could get to a traveling shaman. I think that's the idea I like the most. Heading from town to town meeting and healing along the way; all the while keeping the wind pushing me where ever I need to go. Yeah it sounds really hippy-ish, but I didn't do that when I was younger. Since I'm only getting older I figure I better get busy living or get busy dying, and I tried to get busy dying; it wasn't very fun. Anyway, I need to start looking into that massage school stuff. Hopefully I can do the schooling part time and get it done by the time I'm 30. Anyway, that's about it for now.




Until next time...

PX

3/12/2008 4:24:14 PM
It's been a while since I've updated this and I figure it's best to give anyone out there an update.  Here are my two latest journal entries and I plan on keeping up with more...

A Weekend With PA

I was born of whisky and gasoline and in the right combination, something beautiful can be created. Over the past few years that mixture has gotten more and more screwed up to the point that it has caused me not only mental pain, but physical pain. This past weekend I managed to get that ratio back to something beautiful. All it took was a Canadian southern belle to tear off my testicles, give them back to me in a box, and tell me to sew them back on.

PaintedAugusta and I have been commenting on each other's blogs for over a year now. We had developed a friendship, but because of the distance between us, she lives in Kentucky, I in Michigan, we never met in person. Well, I had some vacation days to burn and she had spring break coming up so I packed a suitcase and headed south for four days. I didn't know quite what to expect, but what I found was something beautiful. To use words to describe PA's world would be an injustice. She's one of those people that sees beauty in nearly everything and is able to release that beauty in everything she creates. As an artist she's amazing and you can see the love that she puts in to each piece of her work. When I arrived, I was tired and broken. My body was wracked with driving for seven hours, and all the burdens that dragged behind me like chains weighted with guilt, regret, loss, and anger. I was downtrodden to put it nicely and I was faced with this beautiful creature. At our first physical meeting, I knew I disappointed. She was a stunning visage though, long thick curly hair, break neck curves, and a gentle smile, while I was a shell of a man.

We hugged and took my things up to her apartment. Again, to describe her world would do it an injustice. If any of you are ever fortunate enough to venture into her reality you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. So we talked. Not small talk like you would expect two relatively perfect strangers to do, but deep conversations. I hadn't been able to connect with someone on such a level in such a long time. It was nice to know that there were still people out there who lived for love and beauty. Slowly the chains I had held on so tightly to fell off, and as my body became lighter, I felt my head raise and my confidence grow. I had a few major realizations over those few days, and with each one my shoulders relaxed and I stared to realize that the life I was living was not one that I wanted for myself. I felt so free in this surreal little world that karma had blessed me with. I dreaded the thought of going home back to quality control and school and doing the things I didn't like because I thought that's the way life is supposed to be. Still, I knew that if I stayed to long or didn't stay long enough, the effect of the weekend wouldn't be as pure and beautiful. So yesterday morning I left. The thought of leaving is bringing tears to my eyes as I write this now, and the things that PA helped me realize are simple. Even though I live in the shadow of melancholy, I deserve to surround myself with love and beauty. In my own dark and lovely way, I am beautiful, and despite the fact I'm only 27, I'm really a geriatric pervert. It's those little things that are making me re-evaluate my life. I'm more confident then ever and I'm actually considering a change of career. I think I would be a good massage therapist. I said that this year was going to be my year and damn it, this release was something that I needed to help me forgive myself and shake the demons of my past. So for all of you who liked the angry, confused PX, start planning the New Orleans funeral. He's not dead yet, but he's sure as hell terminally ill.



Until next time...



PX

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