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Its not difficult to please a man. We are rather simple creatures in fact. For those that don't know, the following is a list of a few things every sub/slave should know about men:
- If something is on your mind, spit it out. Subtle hints don’t work.
Strong hints don’t work. Obvious hints don’t work. We are not Dionne
Warwick or Miss Cleo so we can not read your mind
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 3 days.
-
All men only see in 3 basic colors. Peach for example is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is a fruit, not a color. We have no earthly idea what
the hell mauve is.
- Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to talk about sports, food, or sex.
- We don’t need to work out because we are already in shape. Yes, round is a shape.
-
Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing sitting down from
point blank range. We are bound to miss sometimes. Get over it and get
out the scrubbing bubbles.
- If something we said can be interpreted in two different ways, and one of those ways is bad, then we meant the other one
-
Let us look at other women. We are going to anyway. Its genetic. I mean
seriously, how else are we supposed know how pretty you are if we don’t
compare.
- If it itches, we will scratch it. Doesn't matter
where we are, we will scratch, that's what we do. Get over it. Just make
a game out of it and join in
- If you need to say something,
please do so during the commercials. We don't need to hear about Jenny
from your job when we're trying to figure out who the killer is on CSI
-
Please don't ask us to do housework. We'll just mess it up on purpose
so you have to do it. Seriously, when it comes to housework, we are
about as useless as a one-legged man trying to drive a stick shift.
-
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we. Hell,
Jesus didn't even need directions. Why do you think he wandered around
the desert for 40 days and 40 nights.
- It's not that we have
commitment issues. We look at it like this. The difference between
"involvement" and "commitment"' is like an eggs and bacon breakfast: The
chicken was "involved"....The pig was "committed."
- Seriously,
most of the time we really don't know what's going on. 9 times out of 10
we are about as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
- DON’T RUB THE LAMP, IF YOU DON’T WANT THE GENIE TO COME OUT.
Knowing
these simple little things will help everyone have a successful
relationship. LOL Hopefully this has served to give you a little laugh
and a break from all the overly serious profiles out there. Have some
fun and don't take life too serious. No one gets out alive anyway...LOL
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